May. 2nd, 2017

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Sometimes people like to write things about florist’s shops.  Here are two things you need to know, the most egregiously wrong things.

1. It makes no fucking sense to sketch out a bouquet before you make it.  Every individual flower is different in a way that cannot really be adjusted the way other building materials can be adjusted, and each individual bouquet is unique.  Just put the fucking flowers together.

2. No one — in months and months of working at the flower shop — has ever cared what the flower/color of the flower means.  No one’s ever asked.  It’s just not something people tend to care about outside of fiction and it’s certainly not something most florists know.  You know what florists know?  What looks good and is thematically appropriate.

Here’s an actual list of the symbology of flowers, as professionals use it:

Yellow – for friends, hospitalsPink – girls, girlfriends, babies, bridesmaidsRed – lovePurple – queensWhite – marriage and death (DO NOT SEND TO HOSPITALS)Pink and purple – ur mumRed, orange, and yellow – ur mum if she’s stylishRed, yellow, blue – dudes and small childrenBlue and white – rare, probably a weddingRed and white – love for fancy bitches

Here are what the flowers actually mean to a florist:

The Fill It Out flowers:

Carnations – fuck u these are meaningless filler-flowers, not even your administrative assistant likes them, show some creativityAlstroemeria – by and large very similar to carnations but I like them betterTea roses – cute and lil and come several to a stalk, a classy filler flowerMoluccella laevis – filler flower but CHOICEDelphinium – not as interesting as moluccella but purple so okay I guessBlue thistle – FUCK YEAH, some fucking textural variety at last!  you’re getting this for a dude, aren’t you?Chrysanthemums – barely better than carnations but better is still betterGladiolus – ooh, risky business, someone understands the use of the Y-axis, very good

Focal points:

Long-stem roses – yeah whateverLilies – LBD, looks good with everything, get used as often as possibleHydrangeas – thirsty fuckers, divas of the flower world and rightly so, treat them right and they make you look goodGerbera daisies – the rose’s hippie cousin, hotter but no one admits itPeonies – CHA-CHING, everybody’s absolute favorite but you need guapOrchids – if this isn’t for a wedding you’re probably trying too hard but they’re expensive so keep ordering them

You know what matters?  THE CUSTOMER’S BUDGET.  THAT’S TELLING.

-$20 – if you’re not under 12, fuck off, get your sugar something else$30 – good for bouquets but an arrangement will be lame$40 – getting there, there’s something that can be done with that.  you can get some gerbs or roses with that and not have them look stupidly solo.$50 to $70 – tolerable$80 – FINALLY.  It sounds elitist but this really is the basic amount of money you should expect to spend on an arrangement that matters.  That’s your Mother’s Day arrangement.  You’re probably not going to spend $80 on a bouquet.$90 to $130 – THE GOOD SHIT, you’re likely to get some orchids$130+  – Weddings and death.  This amount of money gets you a memorial arrangement or a handmade bridal bouquet.  Don’t spend this on a Mother’s Day or a Babe I Love You arrangement, buy whosits a massage or something.


Everything needs greening and if you don’t think that you’re an idiot. 

As a new employee, when you start making arrangements, you can’t see the mistakes you’re making because you’re brand new and you’re learning an art form from the ground up.

With a few exceptions customers don’t have a clear plan in mind.  They want you to develop the bouquet for them.  They want something that will delight their little sweetbread but you’re lucky if they know that person’s favorite color, let alone flower.

Flower shops don’t typically have every kind of flower in every kind of color.  Customers generally aren’t assed about that.  Most people don’t care about the precise shade of the rose or having daffodils in July, because they’re not boning up on flower language before they buy.  That would imply that they’ve got a clear bouquet in mind and, again, they don’t.

Being a florist is essentially a lot like what I imagine being a mortician is about.  You’re basically keeping dead things looking good for as long as possible.  You keep the product in the fridge so it doesn’t rot and look horrible by the time the family gets a whack at it, and in the meanwhile you put it in a nice container.

Anyway that’s flowers.
from Tumblr
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Guest artist Marie Watt worked with the Hot Glass team today to realize her designs in glass. Watch Marie work with the team tomorrow and Thursday, 10am-12pm, 1-4pm and see an exhibition of Marie’s work at The Rockwell Museum Thursday evening 5:30-7:30pm.
from Tumblr
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A New Hampshire Republican State Representative anonymously created the “Red Pill” subreddit.


these aren’t just bullshitter dweebs in their mom’s basements trolling the internet, these are men who formulate the way we implement laws and who govern the way we live our lives.

^^^ Hello, yes, everyone needs to see this. It’s not always a bunch of nobodies trolling around on 4chan. It’s, doctors, lawyers, judges, businessmen, bankers, law enforcement, etc. People who have pulls on society. They literally don’t see other groups besides themselves as human or equal
from Tumblr
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During a conversation with my manager this morning, she mentioned that her manager– the district manager– had told her that “We want people who are passionate about our products. We don’t want people working here if they’re doing it for the money.”

To which the manager (internally, because she doesn’t want to be fired), went “you’ve got to be fucking shitting me.”

Here’s the thing: it is totally possible to do a job for the passion and not be obsessively thinking about the money every minute of every day. In fact, there have been economic studies regarding that very thing.

You know when it starts?

When the employee in question is making $50-75k per year.*

That’s the starting point of financial security. That’s the point when you’re fairly secure that you’re going to have rent, food, and basic living expenses covered. 

I’ve worked a lot of jobs over the years. A lot. I saw the same working as a freelancer– when I charged lower rates, my clients treated me like shit and acted like they were doing me a favor; when I charged more, they respected me as a professional. A newspaper that started out paying me above market wage also treated me very kindly, because they started with the assumption that I was a human being who needs to eat.

In my experience, the employers that insist that your job be your “passion” are also the ones that pay you nothing and treat you like garbage. It’s exactly like abusive people, who tell you that you would put up with their abuse if you “loved them enough”. It’s a way of convincing the victim that they’re responsible for their own mistreatment, which is absolutely fucked up.

Here’s my advice to you:

It is absolutely okay to take a job that doesn’t pay you what you deserve–  you’ve got to eat, after all. But don’t think for a second that you have a responsibility to that job. If you see something available that pays better and treats you better, take it and don’t look back. Don’t waste an ounce of sympathy for employers who try to convince you that passion is an acceptable substitute for survival.
from Tumblr
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Lyudmila Pavlichenko, being a boss.
Lyuba Makarova
Ziba DeNoise
Rosa Shanina
Another of Lyudmila Pavlichenko.
Another of Lyudmila Pavlichenko.
A whole crew of female snipers from WWII.

Colorized Photos of Soviet Female Snipers from WW2

Colorized by translator Olga Shirnina, this is great work - and, thank god, clearly labeled. I cannot count how many times I’ve seen names mismatched to these photos while doing research. Notable among these is former RP Lyudmila Pavlichenko. :)
from Tumblr


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