Getting pregnant was always easy for me - maybe too easy - until it came time for #4, when I was just into my forties. That one took 18 months to conceive - not long as measured against lots of otherfolks, I know, but for me, given the history, it seemed like forever.. I was beginning to believe we had waited too long, and I know how much that hurt, even with the three I had, so I can only guess how much you (and Jim) are hurting now. No, this isn't pity - just me saying that you can talk about it whenever you want, and anyone who doesn't want to hear can just bloddy well change the channel. As someone else said, it's your journal.