I won't say I know how you feel; I don't think anyone ever knows how someone else feels. But I do have some understanding. It may seem these days that all I ever do is complain about the child I have, in fact it doesn't just seem that way, it is that way. I really need to work on that. But I remember so clearly how I felt when I thought I'd never have a child, what you say about your forties feeling like your thirties, and being stuck forever really rings a bell (except it was twenties and thirties for me). It was like a raw wound and I couldn't imagine how I was going to live with it if it didn't go away.

I'm not sure what I'm getting at here. I just wanted to say something, you know? I hope it happens for you, I really do. And if not, I hope you figure out how it is you live with that.