![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Something to think about -
It's been brought to my attention by more than one person that I tend to wear my past on my sleeve.
Uh. Hmm.
If people knew how much I consciously don't talk about the years between 1984 and 1998? The first thing that comes to mind about the above complaint is "pardon me for it being such an inconvenience."
That's snippy. But holy chrome.
One could say I've lived a charmed life, sure - just the wrong kind of charm.
More than one or two of the grand events have had a lot to do with the delays on a number of milestones. No retirement plan, outside of buying a gun and plugging myself if I got a really REALLY bad reason to stop working suddenly. No children. No grand career writing stuff.
Hell if I'm going to just throw my hands up and say that's it - I just did other things. Things I thought were important enough to postpone other things. Things nobody else could - or would - do.
I mention it. Hell, you ask my name and you have to get a bit of history to understand it.
If you know me, you have to know that much history - sorry, but that was my twenties and thirties. Twenty years and change. Even if they were uneventful years, they'd still be history - wouldn't they?
Do I expect anything for it? It's not worth anything to anyone but me.
I wasn't looking to be famous, or successful.
Ghad. Either a saint or a loser. Why can't it just be what it was?
I wasn't lucky. Period.
And even THAT isn't okay?!
Too damn honest again. Crap.
Uh. Hmm.
If people knew how much I consciously don't talk about the years between 1984 and 1998? The first thing that comes to mind about the above complaint is "pardon me for it being such an inconvenience."
That's snippy. But holy chrome.
One could say I've lived a charmed life, sure - just the wrong kind of charm.
More than one or two of the grand events have had a lot to do with the delays on a number of milestones. No retirement plan, outside of buying a gun and plugging myself if I got a really REALLY bad reason to stop working suddenly. No children. No grand career writing stuff.
Hell if I'm going to just throw my hands up and say that's it - I just did other things. Things I thought were important enough to postpone other things. Things nobody else could - or would - do.
I mention it. Hell, you ask my name and you have to get a bit of history to understand it.
If you know me, you have to know that much history - sorry, but that was my twenties and thirties. Twenty years and change. Even if they were uneventful years, they'd still be history - wouldn't they?
Do I expect anything for it? It's not worth anything to anyone but me.
I wasn't looking to be famous, or successful.
Ghad. Either a saint or a loser. Why can't it just be what it was?
I wasn't lucky. Period.
And even THAT isn't okay?!
Too damn honest again. Crap.
no subject
This is just ... so excellent.
and if people don't want to hear about it, they shouldn't ask. Should I feel sorry about it? Why? No such thing as too honest, not in my book.
Exactly. Amen, sistah!
I started all over again, twelve years ago... Reeling from a spate of life-altering changes I neither sought nor controlled, I quit a job where I was stagnating and spent two years at a state university, immersing myself in studying music and psychology. That two-year period is one of the best things I've done for myself, ever in my life so far.
I'm in another period of transition now. Such roads are hard and uncertain while you're on them, but *my* life experience so far says that the outcomes are so very worth it.
*hugs*