I've encountered both with friends and with family all sorts of responses on the 'why in the world would you adopt' direction.

First, the 'preserve the family bloodlines at all costs' argument. Any other choice, of course, is Just. Not. Acceptable. Someone else's bastard trash? Hell, no!

Second, the 'but they'll know and you'll know' argument. Since everyone's aware that The Kid Really Isn't Yours, including the kid, everyone will be unable to bond. At best, the kid will just be a whathehellisthatone roomer.

Third, the 'if it's not blood kin, you cannot bond' routine. See above. Kid won't love you, you won't love the kid.

I got some of these from my mother, and explained in some detail with a crowbar that this was going to be the only grandchild she was ever going to have, so you'd better frickin' get used to the idea, lady.

Unfortunately, she did when Mere was very young, and Mere doesn't remember her directly. I think she'd be tickled pink by Mere, and she certainly warmed up a good deal on the subject as time went on. I think she's *exactly* the sort of grandkid my mom would have dug in a big way.

The non-attachment stuff, is, of course, utter bullcrap.