Notes here because I'm too lazy/rushed for a new login:
Loving the content and what you're going for. Some writing notes:
You've got the common problem of swapping voices and viewpoint characters a little too fast for the reader to keep up. Next edit pass, you want to make sure the "Tony said "Steve thought" and so on are all there marking what you need to show. You hear their voices in your head and know who is who, but we can't hear them and can't always keep up. Swapping a reader into another viewpoint is a tricky thing; do it between scene shifts or at least a clearly marked paragraph swap, and don't do it every other line. Go to omnipotent if you want glimpses of what's in everyone's heads at once, but don't jump around between people's heads too fast. This one could probably be entirely from Tony's viewpoint without missing too much. (And I'd love to see later scenes from the other characters' views as well, and the subtle differences between what X sees versus what Y sees.)
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Loving the content and what you're going for.
Some writing notes:
You've got the common problem of swapping voices and viewpoint characters a little too fast for the reader to keep up. Next edit pass, you want to make sure the "Tony said "Steve thought" and so on are all there marking what you need to show. You hear their voices in your head and know who is who, but we can't hear them and can't always keep up. Swapping a reader into another viewpoint is a tricky thing; do it between scene shifts or at least a clearly marked paragraph swap, and don't do it every other line. Go to omnipotent if you want glimpses of what's in everyone's heads at once, but don't jump around between people's heads too fast. This one could probably be entirely from Tony's viewpoint without missing too much. (And I'd love to see later scenes from the other characters' views as well, and the subtle differences between what X sees versus what Y sees.)