Well, THAT wasn't supposed to happen -

[kyburg]

We got our actual confirmation letter from DCFS in the mail this week. YAY US.

Next day, I got a message from the social worker that we needed to watch Wednesday's Child this week - she'd gotten an email on a child being featured that she wanted us to see.

We endured an hour of Faux News last night to get to the segment.

He's 12 years old, and a perfect fit for Jim. She wasn't kidding.

Now.

We pursue this, and we kiss the international stuff good-bye for a year. A year more than what we're already looking at, which looks damn close to a year and a half from now.

Twelve years old, looks like an only child - and the first thing he's going to find out is that we're going to adopt other children. That alone worries me a tad.

Yeah, we were up late last night.

I had Jim call the social worker to get more information. Somehow, I had made a short list of Rules about placements and hadn't realized it. One of them was I wasn't going to turn down a placement or consider a child because it was inconvenient. Which this, frankly, timing-wise? Oh baby. *sighs*

We'll get more information. We'll think some more.

I just want to know more. I don't know if that's a good thing right now or not. He'd fit us. Would we fit him?

Comments

[redqueenofevil.livejournal.com]

Oh wow. This is exciting news. Knowing little about adoption process, is there a way you can meet each other before taking the plunge? Just curious.

Good luck.

[moropus.livejournal.com]

Considering his age, I think being able to talk to him first and tell him you want other kids as well would be about mandatory. Or passing messages? If you aren't allowed to talk to him first, can you email or something?

[snobahr.livejournal.com]

I hope this works out for the best for everyone immediately involved.

[luscious-purple.livejournal.com]

*hugs* to you and your husband, no matter what happens next!

[pseudicide.livejournal.com]

Keep us updated!

[riverheart.livejournal.com]

Great good luck to all of you.

[turandot.livejournal.com]

Twelve years old, looks like an only child - and the first thing he's going to find out is that we're going to adopt other children. That alone worries me a tad.

Like someone else said, you might want to tell both DCFS and the child (if you're allowed to meet before placement) that the issue of how he would cope with other children needs to be explored. That he might be an only child is not an obstacle per se, he might surprise you by relishing the idea of having an adopted brother or sister sometime down the line. In fact, if I were the kid I would be thinking of it in terms of "another child who needs a family like I do, and was lucky to find one".

That said, even if he is enthusiastic about that prospect, he should still be made aware of the fact that you might have to devote some of your attention away from him onto said other children if and when those adoptions happen. 12 years old is, I think, mature enough to understand that dilemma, so he should be given that opportunity to determine if he can live with it.

Somehow, I had made a short list of Rules about placements and hadn't realized it. One of them was I wasn't going to turn down a placement or consider a child because it was inconvenient.

I'm assuming this was back at the beginning, when they hadn't been making your life hellish, and indirectly pushed you to consider international adoptions. DCFS, at least, should be willing to accept that your position on placement availability has substantially changed; it probably happens to them more often than you'd think.