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*sniff*
Still sick. But better, and will go back to work tomorrow.
I've said this, I'm sure of it - stop me if you've heard this one before.
I don't think anyone under the age of oh, 21/22 or so? Should try to have a kid by themselves. No, seriously.
I haven't met a 19-year-old yet I thought was prime parent material, me included.
When is a good time? Hmmm. Get all the school you want out of the way, first. Get a good handle on the kind of job you want to have (and if that means parenting children, that's honest) and make sure you can back it up with the kind of education you need (see former, capiche?)...and be in a stable relationship if you're making the kid yourself. Don't waffle or mince on the last statement. You want optimal, there's your mix.
Oh, and if you're not fabulous by 30, don't kill yourself.
I really think it's only fair you get to be a teenager as long as you're allowed. Make all the mistakes you can reasonably account for yourself, and learn from them - FIRST - before you drag someone else along for the ride.
And when girls start menarche at 11 these days, that's a lot of years you have to be aware of your fertility and managing it. At a time when you're least educated about just about everything.
I am a firm supporter of contraception, and believe that nobody gets pregnant with the express intention of having an abortion - so if you tell me you need one, I believe you need one. It's that simple.
We clear on this?
Please. Don't tell me you think you can care for a baby when you're not even old enough to sign contracts as a legal adult. Not in this world. Oh, and you're already living on your own, independent and all that? No? Children get taken care of by their parents. Not their parents being 'taken care of' by their children, if you get my drift. If - my respect means anything. You asked.
If anything in my adoption journey has taught me, it's that there isn't a shortage of children being born - and frankly, the adoption agencies that advertise "PREGNANT? WANNA SELL YOUR KID?" right next to the "ADOPTIVE PARENTS APPLY HERE" banner make me ill, but that appears to be the typical domestic adoption scenario. I can't blame anyone who doesn't think of that first - but think about it seriously, if you're single, unemployed and under 22. Okay? There are more types of adoption situations than the "traditional" kind - believe me, I've done the research. There's no 'giving up' in adoption these days, not unless you want to.
This is someone who waited - with good reason. It can be done, and you'll have a hard time convincing me it was a mistake.
If you want to toss "well, you're jealous because you haven't got any of your own," I will fucking plant you in the cornfield. While reminding you we weren't talking about me in the first place. Or the second. Maybe not even in the third.
I'm old enough - and the daughter of a nurse who retired after over fifty years in hospitals, before and after Roe - to have seen a long string of really young parents with no other visible support than an accidental pregnancy. Lemme tellya. It never went well. Yeah, there are survivors of the process - and they can get on okay - or not - but while you can plan and choose? Please do. And yes, that's asking a lot.
Parenting is a selfless act, by its very nature. If you can't think of anything but what you want here? Come on.
That's not a responsible parent talking.
I've said this, I'm sure of it - stop me if you've heard this one before.
I don't think anyone under the age of oh, 21/22 or so? Should try to have a kid by themselves. No, seriously.
I haven't met a 19-year-old yet I thought was prime parent material, me included.
When is a good time? Hmmm. Get all the school you want out of the way, first. Get a good handle on the kind of job you want to have (and if that means parenting children, that's honest) and make sure you can back it up with the kind of education you need (see former, capiche?)...and be in a stable relationship if you're making the kid yourself. Don't waffle or mince on the last statement. You want optimal, there's your mix.
Oh, and if you're not fabulous by 30, don't kill yourself.
I really think it's only fair you get to be a teenager as long as you're allowed. Make all the mistakes you can reasonably account for yourself, and learn from them - FIRST - before you drag someone else along for the ride.
And when girls start menarche at 11 these days, that's a lot of years you have to be aware of your fertility and managing it. At a time when you're least educated about just about everything.
I am a firm supporter of contraception, and believe that nobody gets pregnant with the express intention of having an abortion - so if you tell me you need one, I believe you need one. It's that simple.
We clear on this?
Please. Don't tell me you think you can care for a baby when you're not even old enough to sign contracts as a legal adult. Not in this world. Oh, and you're already living on your own, independent and all that? No? Children get taken care of by their parents. Not their parents being 'taken care of' by their children, if you get my drift. If - my respect means anything. You asked.
If anything in my adoption journey has taught me, it's that there isn't a shortage of children being born - and frankly, the adoption agencies that advertise "PREGNANT? WANNA SELL YOUR KID?" right next to the "ADOPTIVE PARENTS APPLY HERE" banner make me ill, but that appears to be the typical domestic adoption scenario. I can't blame anyone who doesn't think of that first - but think about it seriously, if you're single, unemployed and under 22. Okay? There are more types of adoption situations than the "traditional" kind - believe me, I've done the research. There's no 'giving up' in adoption these days, not unless you want to.
This is someone who waited - with good reason. It can be done, and you'll have a hard time convincing me it was a mistake.
If you want to toss "well, you're jealous because you haven't got any of your own," I will fucking plant you in the cornfield. While reminding you we weren't talking about me in the first place. Or the second. Maybe not even in the third.
I'm old enough - and the daughter of a nurse who retired after over fifty years in hospitals, before and after Roe - to have seen a long string of really young parents with no other visible support than an accidental pregnancy. Lemme tellya. It never went well. Yeah, there are survivors of the process - and they can get on okay - or not - but while you can plan and choose? Please do. And yes, that's asking a lot.
Parenting is a selfless act, by its very nature. If you can't think of anything but what you want here? Come on.
That's not a responsible parent talking.
no subject
There's worse things than being sucked down a "doctor's sink". Such as being drowned by mommy in a tub, or beaten to death by daddy, or medicated to death by your parents and psychiatrist. Just sayin'.
no subject
It's easy to assert that "there's worse things than being sucked down a 'doctor's' sink when you've already been born.
But I'm not going to change your fabulously open and tolerant-of-all-points-of-view mind here on Kyburg's LJ, so I'll say no more. If you want to discuss it further, feel free to visit me on my own LJ.
no subject
Sorry, it's much more dangerous for women in general, especially young mothers, to have abortion be illegal. It's dangerous to have this abstinence only shit being taught, instead of properly educating people on what their bodies do and how to prevent certain things. When you shame people for making choices like getting abortions, you get girls like that one in Canada who strangle their newborn with a pair of panties and throw their corpses over a fence.
I wouldn't wish a "life" like that on anyone.
no subject
I was educated about the consequences of having sex. Done properly, it makes more people. End subject. Not ready to come to terms with "do I or do I not," I managed the sex with that in mind. Gee, I never had to ask myself the question of whether or not I'd have an abortion. Funny how that happened.
You come to good decisions when you have lots of options. It sounds like the doors are blown open to every viewpoint on the planet - and most likely, they are - but you get to pick from those, knowing the best and the worst there are to chose from. Knowing the worst. That, I think is key.
no subject
I don't like abortion, but I like the alternatives even less. I wish every child could be born into a family that loved, anticipated, and prepared for them. Life doesn't always happen that way, I understand.
Forcing ignorance on people never works. I had good sex education--- as the daughter of a single mother, my family made sure of that. It didn't fill me with the need to frot everything in sight-- I understood what the consequences were and had no interest. In contrast, all the sexuall repressed religious kids I grew up with were having sex at 11 and all sorts of terrible, horrible things their parents never knew.
I digress. It's just a personal trigger. I get tired of hearing that every woman that ever has sex is a goddamn whore, too.
no subject
That's such a bizarre argument to me. If my parents hadn't had sex, I would never have been born. ergo, my parents should have sex constantly, or they are preventing people from being conceived and born - a tragedy.
Obviously a first-tri fetus has no self-awareness. They don't care whether they are born or not. Getting all angsty about it on their behalf seems like agonizing over the fate of a carrot.