For the sake of documentation -

[kyburg]

Kid went to school this morning.

I got a call half an hour into the teaching day telling me to remove my child. AT ONCE.

Jim lost the day after losing the morning to replacing tires (you remember the tires), turning around to pick him up, go home and dig up the necessary documents and then going to over to the home public school to enroll him.

Didn't make it in time to keep him there today, but he did get introduced to his new class. Jim took the paperwork home to complete it and answering the questions just about broke him.

You see, children are to be in school, no matter if they live in a home or a cardboard box and the forms ask you about it.

I've moved up the placement testing for new school, but kid can get a taste of public school for the next few days and I can get an idea from a fresh set of eyes of what really this is all about.

Kid hated school. I think it's as simple as that. He had no motivation to comply and bucked authority at every opportunity. They, on the other hand, have no motivation to try to do anything with him and threw him out. Such is the prerogative of a private school.

But I've had enough - so much for the rosy image of a cute little school with cute little classes and sweet, adoring teachers. BAH.

For my next trick, I try to explain what happened to him. Yeah. Six years old and they don't want you anymore. THAT is going to be a fucking walk in the park.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Bummer. Maybe instead of saying they didn't want him, you could say something different.

[dame-of-dames.livejournal.com]

...A school that can't handle a six year old child. Sad.

My sympathies.

[ms_hecubus]

I would focus on the actions. They didn't want his behavior rather than they didn't want him.

Do you guys do family therapy?

[feyandstrange]

I was kicked out of two private schools during late high school for being a) clinically depressed (high school #1 let me back in briefly as long as I went to their mandated therapist, not out of kindness, but because they were concerned I'd suicide and thus make the school look bad) and b) had an attitude (one of the reasons for my second expulsion was that I investigated and discovered that the supposed "school rulebook" did not in fact exist at all and thus the administration could, and was, making up new rules at any time, regardless of student or parent input).

It's not you, kid. It's them. Yes, you shouldn't throw things, and you shouldn't have temper tantrums. But sometimes grown-ups don't behave either, and they don't have anybody to give them a time-out when they're mean.

[moropus]

He's doing the "get thrown out on purpose before they can kick me out for something I can't control" thing over and over. But you know that. How to stop him is the problem.

[murphymom]

Private schools have little to no motivation to try to work with parents' and kids' issues - there's ALWAYS a waiting list and they'll just keep going down it until they find a compliant, problem-free kid. Public schools are obligated to provide a Free and Appropriate Public Education. I've looked at the public schools in your general area and they look pretty good. (You can check them out on greatschools.net - be sure to read parent comments)

I have been biting my tongue for months now to keep from screaming about this school - Xander is NOT the problem here. Look at how well he adjusted to Beach Babies. (And, it also occurs to me - where did his classmates from there go? That's something I'd be looking at.)

As for how to explain it to him - it was a bad fit. THEY weren't the right school for HIM. THEY failed - not him.

(wanders off muttering to herself about "schools" and "teachers" not worthy of the name)

[redqueenofevil.livejournal.com]

Bummer. Maybe instead of saying they didn't want him, you could say something different.

[thatwordgrrl.livejournal.com]

Ok...short of him either setting a toilet on fire or stabbing another kid in the eye with a pencil, what in the name of all that's sweet and crumbly and lies at the bottom of Odin's beard could he have possibly DONE to warrant removal a mere half-hour after the start of the school day?

I'll be curious if he does better in the new classroom. My money is on it being That School and not School as a meta-concept.

[lesliepear.livejournal.com]

I'm agreeing with her. I think it is the school. (HUGS)

[jimkeller.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry.

My faith in private education just took a very serious hit.

[nagasvoice.livejournal.com]

I'm wondering if the problem he was having is also causing issues for other little kids... like bullies in class or something. I'm also willing to guess he may be too smart for his teachers there; or possibly challenging on ethical grounds?
I worried (and still do!) about my smartass nephews could not only get turned off school, but turn into *really* evol little SOBs if mishandled at certain stages of developing independence.

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

I'm also willing to guess he may be too smart for his teachers there;

When a kid gets kicked out for discipline issues, it isn't always because s/he's super-smart. Sometimes it's because s/he has, you know, discipline issues.

[nagasvoice.livejournal.com]

Yes, but prior postings here suggest that the kidling has been trying very hard to understand and comply and get with the program as best he can tolerate. and he is bright as hell. So, you know, one suspects maybe the program is at fault more than he is.

[turandot.livejournal.com]

Having a husband who was labeled as a discipline problem right before he was labeled about 6 grades ahead of his current grade level, and having had a brother who's incredibly smart and talented and also at various turns of his academic career a discipline problem, sometimes a child can become a discipline problem merely because a teacher has no idea what to do with the kid, especially when the kid in question is

(a) smart enough to know more than you do but not socially savvy enough to keep it under wraps so as to not antagonize their teacher (my husband)
(b) smart enough to figure out exactly what shortcoming a teacher is covering up by belittling other kids, and yet not mature enough to realize that paying a bully teacher in kind with snide remarks is not going to be an engagement on a level playfield (my brother).

Happens more often than you'd think, especially to boys (smart girls are better able to just keep their mouth shut, in my personal experience).

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

They, on the other hand, have no motivation to try to do anything with him and threw him out.

Eh, of course they have a motivation to keep students: they get paid to keep students.


I try to explain what happened to him

He's not stupid, I'm sure he knows exactly what happened. He acted badly and they booted him for it.

Anyway, I got kicked out of a kindergarten, I survived ;) The story as recounted to me was that they wanted me to do things in a certain order - beans before puzzles, etc - and I strongly disagreed. The next school was more to my taste, I guess.

I'm not sure why you want a private school anyway. Private schools are a waste of money.

[tibicina.livejournal.com]

Ummm. Actually, no. Comparing my experiences of school with those of many of my friends, private school is not necessarily a waste of money. At least not if you are at the right private schools. I am not saying that they are all perfect. Heck, I'm not saying that any of them are perfect. Mine certainly wasn't. BUT, I got a much better education at each of the private schools I attended than many of my peers who were at public schools. Trust me. We discuss these things and compare notes and I am regularly astonished and vaguely horrified at their curricula or lack there of.

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

*amused* I was in public school all the way through high school, plus I attended a public law school. I assure you, my education was every bit as good as yours, and it was free.

I will also happily match my brilliant public-school-educated child up against private-school kids any day of the week. Plus, my son is already nearly fluent in Spanish, at seven years old. Again, all free.

But hey, continue to put your kids in private school; it's not my problem. Meanwhile I will take the $5-$10,000 a year or so I save by not doing so and put it into my kids' college funds.

The only purpose I see to private school is if you need a very specific type of education. E.g., I have considered enrolling my children in Jewish day school for the Hebrew and Jewish education (which they obviously cannot get in public school.) Or I suppose it would be good if you lived in an area with really terrible public schools. I'm not sure why you'd want to raise children in such an area in the first place, though.

[turandot.livejournal.com]

Or I suppose it would be good if you lived in an area with really terrible public schools. I'm not sure why you'd want to raise children in such an area in the first place, though.

It's not always as clear cut as "if it's got bad public schools, it's a terrible place to live anyway". Hardly.

Most people would prefer to send their kids to a good public school all things being equal. But as someone who's gotten their education at public schools, plus also taught in some, not everyone is as lucky as you or I got.

[monkeyfruit.livejournal.com]

Dude, he's SIX. What the hell is wrong with the school?? Plus, I do remember my bad days at school all the way back to age 3, so definitely not a trivial thing!

Poor kid, I'd be speechless with heartbreak if I were faced with your task of the day. Like he needs to feel further let down :|

[sekl.livejournal.com]

Poor Xander, so many changes for someone so young. Jake got a rough deal because he literally couldn't speak the language. People misinterpreted him as blowing them off when he simply didn't understand. Xander's probably lightyears ahead in terms of language compared to where Jake was at six, but I wonder if he feels the same way about expectations. It will be interesting to see what he thinks of public school.

[drlaurac.livejournal.com]

I am so very sorry. I wish I had some magic advice to help, but I've got nothing, but my heart aches for y'all.