Some notes for the BIL - and others.

[kyburg]

Sis crap. I've kept this thing long enough, I may need to refer back to it.

Here's a classic.

This one, for older brother.

Mom's asked me, for her birthday, to reach out to him and try to mend the ways.

Well. You don't ask, you don't get.

Comments

[n6vfp.livejournal.com]

In my case I didn't speak to my sister for 10 years over how she treated my Mom (she basically said, I'm done, she's your problem), so I know a bit about dysfunctional family. You have my sympathies, at least my Mom didn't ask me to make up with my sister. Now we are back on speaking terms, and that is about it, in total.

[moropus.livejournal.com]

I have a sister that could be a clone of yours. In her last divorce, she treated the man so poorly we gave him money to get a lawyer because he could not afford it and the area he lives in doesn't see any reason to give legal aid to a white male. Yes, I paid for a man to defend himself against my sister.

Her children are growing up to be worse than she is. One of them owes me several hundred dollars and has just joined a cult. He owes money to the electric company, phone company and student loans. He has no plan to pay any of it because the cult and my sister told him it doesn't matter. One of the cult members stalked me for a while.

I think we all have them. One of my relatives asked us all to be civil to each other years ago. I tried, she didn't. It did not last long.

My dad was a lot like her. Used people up and threw them away, but she's worse and her kids are going further at a younger age.

[caitlin.livejournal.com]

What's that old saying about leading a horse to water...?

I'd say give it a try... but if at first you don't succeed... considering it sounds like you have been trying... leave it be. If there is a fence that neither of them want mended, it is not up to you.

There are at least 2 expressions in Chinese...

One of them amounts to "you made the effort, that's what counts". The other I think is equivalent to the whole fence mending thing. (I know what they mean in my head and in Chinese... it's trying to translate them that gives me coniptions.) Near as I can figure, it's essentially "if they don't want it, it's easier to pull down"

I have been burned too many times by people who don't care to throw much effort into it anymore.

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

Best wishes for the efforts, even if they aren't hopeful ones. If nothing else, maybe the matter of your sister will bring y'all to some common ground, albeit not very pleasant ground.

[amanda-nye.livejournal.com]

sometimes I'm glad I barely know any of my family. I wish you luck.

[yeoww.livejournal.com]

Ah, we don't get to choose our families of origin.

I have a brother who - well - either has a mood disorder or really does go through cycles of extreme dislike of me and anything to do with my life. He's the kind of person who complains to code enforcement about his neighbors because they make noise in their pool in the summer. He said on his last visit, in front of my daughter, that well educated and affluent people usually don't have children. (He doesn't, I do.)

Mom asked me to try to mend fences and I tried and it didn't work and oh well. Mom, I tried. Really. Aargh, ack, blech.

So many things are out of our control.