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*reads FL* **sighs**
Folks, I'm going to do this as gently as I possibly can - and with as much sensitivity as I can find to put into print.
It's not you. It's not your fault.
It just may be that what you had planned - ain't gonna happen just the way you thought it would.
Not even as splashy. Or as fun. Or why you took those classes, and slogged through getting the degree.
And everyone telling you to "get over it"? They've got it all wrong.
There's nothing to get over with. What did you get, exactly, to begin with? Expectations? Plans? Pfft. Nothing. You had nothing to lose. So what's there to get over with, exactly? (Ghad, I hate that sentence. Get over it. Like it's a vaulting horse of something. Sheesh.)
You know what you want. Somehow, it's just not coming together - and the walls are closing in.
Or maybe, you're smacking yourself around so much, you don't have time to persue those big dreams - you too busy trying to figure out where the door is to get out and go after them.
When someone tells you that most of us go through life, living lives of quiet desperation - they're telling you the truth.
You have to decide if that's worth killing yourself over, when you find this out for yourself. We all know people who did - that guy who offed himself last year, when he wasn't wildly successful before 28 years of age. That dumbass.
Give it a rest. And then take a step back and look at it again.
Food, clothing, shelter. That's for you. Your own space, your own stuff. Everyone needs this.
That's called meeting your needs - security needs - the ones that are at the bottom of your tiny lizard brains. You don't have this much, no wonder you're losing your mind. It's important - don't lose sight of it.
...and you may have to do something you don't like much, isn't very sexy or exciting or fun, to provide it.
What, exactly - is up to you. Look around - you're not the first, last or only person facing this. Seriously. You really do think it's all YOU, don't you? You messed up. You're a loser. You're a total failure.
*sigh*
I really skipped over that part, because I knew if I wanted the fun stuff, I had to do the stuff I didn't want to do before I could get to the fun stuff. Because if I didn't take care of myself, I wouldn't be around to DO the fun stuff.
Best part? Once I put that aside, the rest was easy. I just went out and found a job. Anything I could do - and made the best of it.
I've held a number of whack jobs in my time. You know what? Even the ones I hated in the end? There were days I thoroughly enjoyed myself - I made sure of it. Life is what happens to us while we're waiting for things to happen.
Frankly, I know Starbucks barristas work their fannies off - and have to deal with the snottiest, up-tight customers on the planet (caffeine junkies? Gimme a break!) - but I think I'd dig it, if I could do it myself. I just have all my hours spoken for right now - and don't need the extra bucks. Actually, the time-trade off isn't worth it to me right now. I wouldn't consider that the worst thing in the world if that's the only job I could get. (I'd be looking for other things, you betcha, but this would do - in a pinch. No shame in hard work, after all. Money all spends the same!)
I'd love to work in a bakery. Never done it.
I drove airport shuttle for two companies - it made good enough money, and was fun as hell at times to boot.
Not doing my Dream? I'm still here to keep trying. That charmed life again, remember? I had to come to terms with the fact I didn't have all the answers or any control over why it wasn't coming together to make the living I had to have, to stop doing the things I didn't like that made the living.
It wasn't me. I wasn't a loser - I just wasn't where I needed to be, or what was needed at all. If I had known what those things were - yeah, it might be different. It just might be that wasn't supposed to happen at all, too. There was no "right place" to be - and no "right time." My fault? Never.
The fact you aren't more "special" or "better" or "whatever" than the people around you is not proof you're worthless. Everyone has their own strengths...and that unmeasureable something that separates even identical twins from each other.
And it's not dialing down your expectations to accept that you might not have the house, the job or the zip code you want.
The greatest wealth is contentment with less. Love the one you're with. Make the best of it.
Not just suck it up and suffer. You're missing the point if you do. Nobody can suck it all up and live without finding some joy every day. And accept that good enough - is well, GOOD.
Quiddit.
Get over it? Pah. Let's get on with it.
And if you don't mind, it won't matter - and maybe, your time will come after there's bread on your table, in your house, on your dime - again.
I'll be here. After work, and all that. *grins*
It's not you. It's not your fault.
It just may be that what you had planned - ain't gonna happen just the way you thought it would.
Not even as splashy. Or as fun. Or why you took those classes, and slogged through getting the degree.
And everyone telling you to "get over it"? They've got it all wrong.
There's nothing to get over with. What did you get, exactly, to begin with? Expectations? Plans? Pfft. Nothing. You had nothing to lose. So what's there to get over with, exactly? (Ghad, I hate that sentence. Get over it. Like it's a vaulting horse of something. Sheesh.)
You know what you want. Somehow, it's just not coming together - and the walls are closing in.
Or maybe, you're smacking yourself around so much, you don't have time to persue those big dreams - you too busy trying to figure out where the door is to get out and go after them.
When someone tells you that most of us go through life, living lives of quiet desperation - they're telling you the truth.
You have to decide if that's worth killing yourself over, when you find this out for yourself. We all know people who did - that guy who offed himself last year, when he wasn't wildly successful before 28 years of age. That dumbass.
Give it a rest. And then take a step back and look at it again.
Food, clothing, shelter. That's for you. Your own space, your own stuff. Everyone needs this.
That's called meeting your needs - security needs - the ones that are at the bottom of your tiny lizard brains. You don't have this much, no wonder you're losing your mind. It's important - don't lose sight of it.
...and you may have to do something you don't like much, isn't very sexy or exciting or fun, to provide it.
What, exactly - is up to you. Look around - you're not the first, last or only person facing this. Seriously. You really do think it's all YOU, don't you? You messed up. You're a loser. You're a total failure.
*sigh*
I really skipped over that part, because I knew if I wanted the fun stuff, I had to do the stuff I didn't want to do before I could get to the fun stuff. Because if I didn't take care of myself, I wouldn't be around to DO the fun stuff.
Best part? Once I put that aside, the rest was easy. I just went out and found a job. Anything I could do - and made the best of it.
I've held a number of whack jobs in my time. You know what? Even the ones I hated in the end? There were days I thoroughly enjoyed myself - I made sure of it. Life is what happens to us while we're waiting for things to happen.
Frankly, I know Starbucks barristas work their fannies off - and have to deal with the snottiest, up-tight customers on the planet (caffeine junkies? Gimme a break!) - but I think I'd dig it, if I could do it myself. I just have all my hours spoken for right now - and don't need the extra bucks. Actually, the time-trade off isn't worth it to me right now. I wouldn't consider that the worst thing in the world if that's the only job I could get. (I'd be looking for other things, you betcha, but this would do - in a pinch. No shame in hard work, after all. Money all spends the same!)
I'd love to work in a bakery. Never done it.
I drove airport shuttle for two companies - it made good enough money, and was fun as hell at times to boot.
Not doing my Dream? I'm still here to keep trying. That charmed life again, remember? I had to come to terms with the fact I didn't have all the answers or any control over why it wasn't coming together to make the living I had to have, to stop doing the things I didn't like that made the living.
It wasn't me. I wasn't a loser - I just wasn't where I needed to be, or what was needed at all. If I had known what those things were - yeah, it might be different. It just might be that wasn't supposed to happen at all, too. There was no "right place" to be - and no "right time." My fault? Never.
The fact you aren't more "special" or "better" or "whatever" than the people around you is not proof you're worthless. Everyone has their own strengths...and that unmeasureable something that separates even identical twins from each other.
And it's not dialing down your expectations to accept that you might not have the house, the job or the zip code you want.
The greatest wealth is contentment with less. Love the one you're with. Make the best of it.
Not just suck it up and suffer. You're missing the point if you do. Nobody can suck it all up and live without finding some joy every day. And accept that good enough - is well, GOOD.
Quiddit.
Get over it? Pah. Let's get on with it.
And if you don't mind, it won't matter - and maybe, your time will come after there's bread on your table, in your house, on your dime - again.
I'll be here. After work, and all that. *grins*
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Never worked in a bakery, but Dunkin Donuts was fun because I finally got to try them all because they didn't make us pay for the ones we ate at work. And you meet the most interesting people.
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Thank you thank you THANK YOU
Re: Thank you thank you THANK YOU
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*big warm hugs*
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It's something my rational mind knows, but years and years of church and WASP upbringing sometimes bring back the "YOU'RE NOT ____ YET? YOU'RE NOT #1 AT WHAT YOU DO? YOU'RE A MISERABLE FAILURE."
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Yes, there are days when I'd rather be rich than clever - but since clever is all I get to be, might as well might the most of it!
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Hell, yes. StupidShuttle may have been an absolute hellhole of a company by the time they laid me off (and reports I've heard from people who have ridden with them since they went exclusively owner-operator tell me it's only gotten worse - "a cratered turd" was the phrase one of them used), but the first six of my eight years there were possibly the best working experience I have ever had. It amazes me to think it's been almost three years since they let us go; I may not think about it every day anymore, but I still check van numbers and look for familiar faces when I see one drive past.
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No?
Shame on me....
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;_____;
you. friggin'. ROCK.
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I was telling a friend of mine on Sunday the same damn thing. I even told her that I bet there was more than just myself on that long list of Scorpions in our lives that was feeling the same way and there ya were.
Do you think it perhaps has to do with the fact that we are the age we are and the fact that this is just about the age where women tend to shift into a different frame of mind regarding putting up with those that are still wallowing on the younger side of the spectrum?
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http://dracowayfarer.livejournal.com/56661.html
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You..are going to be awesome. And I'm older than Val Speak, so I can use that word in its correct context. Nyah.
Hang in there, do the work and keep your head up. You'll make it. I'm sure of it.
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Life is about getting along, and not giving up. And finding your happiness where you care to. My personal life has always had it's ups and downs, so I have always found comfort in my work. That's just me. People are hard to fathom, harder to rely on. But work is work, and the harder you work the better you do. there are exceptions (see; Halifax)
On the other hand, one of my best friends is a school janitor, and finds his happiness every day coming home to his wife and daughter. He's easily the happiest guy I know. He's an artist and a painter and put it all aside to raise a family and has not regreted as second of it.
I think sometimes we are led to believe we should just be happy all the time. Life should be like the end of the lord of the rings every day--smiling and laughing and jumping on the bed. It isn't. lots of rich succesful people fall into drug abuse and suicide, so obviously money and fame isn't what we hope it is either.
Happy for me is those little moments, fleeting and brief, that make the rest worth while. Groove on those, know the bad times AND the good times will end and return again, and just give 'er.
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I will be visiting your area of the country soon (again, LOL). Feb 9th, 10th, and 11th for another random group Disneyland trip. Oh! I also found out my cousin lives in Cali and owns a raw foods cafe called Terra Bella in Redondo Beach. Since you're vaguely near that area I thought I'd mention it.
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But you really need to ask them to correct the herbal reference. Herbs are not grown on "sight" - they are grown on "site."
*snarfles* (AND YEAH FEBRUARY YEAH YEAH YEAH!)
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When I'm down on myself I like to listen to this song by the Eagles:
(It makes me laugh at myself)
Get Over it
From the album Hell Freezes Over (1994)
I turn on the tube and what do I see
A whole lotta people cryin' 'Don't blame me'
They point their crooked little fingers ar everybody else
Spend all their time feelin' sorry for themselves
Victim of this, victim of that
Your momma's too thin; your daddy's too fat
Get over it
All this whinin' and cryin' and pitchin' a fit
Get over it
You say you haven't been the same since you had your little crash
But you might feel better if I gave you some cash
The more I think about it, Old Billy was right
Let's kill all the lawyers, kill 'em tonight
You don't want to work, you want to live like a king
But the big, bad world doesn't owe you a thing
Get over it
If you don't want to play, then you might as well split
Get over it
It's like going to confession every time I hear you speak
You're makin' the most of your losin' streak
Some call it sick, but I call it weak
You drag it around like a ball and chain
You wallow in the guilt; you wallow in the pain
You wave it like a flag, you wear it like a crown
Got your mind in the gutter, bringin' everybody down
Complain about the present and blame it on the past
I'd like to find your inner child and kick its little ass
Get over it
All this bitchin' and moanin' and pitchin' a fit
Get over it
It's gotta stop sometime, so why don't you quit
Get over it!
0.o Sometimes a good kick in da ass from a good friend also helps. LOL.
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I like "get on with it" so much more than "get over it."
Get over sounds too much like, no matter how well-intended it is, "I can't help, please at least pretend to feel better so I don't have to feel bad."
"Get on" is a PLAN OF ACTION FOR MOVING FORWARD, instead of endlessly processing something that happened, usually something completely out of one's control.