GREAT party. Now, for the other shoe -

[kyburg]

I didn't get here yesterday to give you a rundown on the party Sunday, did I?

Guess I was kinda fried. Ask silverkun, who was here all weekend and good thing he was too. Few resources, *just* enough warm bodies to cover the bases and last minute WTF kept me far too focused, perpetually pre-occupied and tense.

Will get pictures up. The puppies and kids are too cute. WAAAY too cute.

I was advised to keep the guest list down to a bare minimum - one kid per year of age at the party - so I invited four of his friends from preschool. One showed. Okay.

The moment the puppies hit the site, every party in the park came over. So, we were entertaining about a dozen kids. Okay.

I think they ran out of business cards. Really okay.

Xander got his cake, his ice cream, his presents, his grandmother, his Uncle Rey...and a ton of anxiety leftover.

See, I think the last time someone held a big party like this? They then took him to St. Lucy's the next day and left him with us. I think. I'll never know.

Kid went thud after I left to take Mom home, but woke after I got home at 11:00 and was genuinely surprised to see me (a first). Then he woke an hour later running a 102.7 fever. We gave Advil, put him back to bed and he went to preschool daycare just like a normal Monday.

Came home last night having no nap and not eating so hot. I fed a full dinner and made sure it was eaten - no fight.

But he went down very early THUD - and then had very broken sleep all night.

This morning, it's pretty clear there's some anxiety working. There's also a ton of new toys and a bunch of processing going on in that little head. We're telling him that everything is going to stay right here where he left it, where we put the new toys, that he is going to keep going to school at the same place, and this is his home For Good And Always.

He kept telling me about the latte Rey left in the car. The bottle of water Mom left behind. Sounds like some phone calls might be in order - poor lil' guy. He misses them!

And he wants another birthday cake. I told him Mama makes cakes - just not birthday cakes, that's once a year - and I'll make him another one soon.

You should have seen the birthday crown they made him for his birthday 'party' at daycare yesterday. I'll have to carefully find a way to put it away to keep - and would you believe they gave him a gift card too? I <3 my daycare.

They tell you to expect stuff at birthdays and annivesaries. This is right on schedule - part and parcel. I'm going to suggest we put him down (if he does not nap again today) awake, so he gets the going to bed part without a surprise if he wakes up suddenly again.

The Perry kiyone sent is a HUGE hit - he's sleeping with it. He got so many toys, we're having to open them in waves - there's just too many. Last time this happened?

Uh, right. When he got here.

Time. It'll take time. You can't just say these things - he has to find out as it happens that we're not kidding. This is it kid, you're not going anywhere. Really really. Just have to remember that this showing up is not an indication of a problem - if I didn't recongize it and acknowledge it, THAT would be the problem - it's more of an indicator that this needs additional support and ohmighadhe'sjustthatsmart.

Yes, people leave. Even when they're not supposed to. But I hope the association of Big Fun Party and People Leaving For Good gets broken as quickly as possible. And I think only time and repeat experiences will be the only way.

Wonder if they can spare a puppy or two. I'll bake a cake.

Comments

[caitlin.livejournal.com]

T and I have a few things to send for Xander.

So far, there have been kids books sent to an address which doesn't exist so they get left in my mail box. Kids books.

If you can think of anything else to send... lemme know.

[hobbitblue.livejournal.com]

Aww, poor little kid, I'm glad you figured out what was worrying him, and yes, needs to learn that parties and presents and people are *good* things... Though I see he figured out cake=good, smart boy! :)

I've not commented much of late but I'm reading every entry and so impressed with how the kid is coming along, and his cool and groovy parents too, of course :)

Oh, poor little guy

[turandot.livejournal.com]

*sigh* You know, it might be. It might be that they even explained that he was going away, but he didn't really understand it then, but now? It's probably what he most fears. That he will find himself somewhere else, when he's just starting to like it here, to like his new mom and his new dad.

Just be there. It's the simplest, best thing you can do. One week, two weeks, maybe it'll go away after a while, maybe it might take a good long while.

And you see? You're getting there. You're already mama, and that surprised look you saw? It was probably relief that this mama is still there for him. She will always be there without fail. He will learn that too, given enough time.

Re: Oh, poor little guy

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Some days, adoption is just one big hunk of junk. Some days.

This is so bloody unfair to him - and just as unavoidable.