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Oh man.
In case you were wondering, no - it didn't end up better Monday. Kid got busted - TWICE - sent to the office, the whole rap. And this triggered a number of pretty intense discussions on my part because while this was going on (and I'd gotten full knowledge of it), I hadn't been able to reach the Other Parent to let him know what I'd been told.
The entire day, I couldn't reach him. Um, cell phone? Um, voicemail? Um, text messages? Hello, we pay money for these services for your benefit?
Intense. Not impressed.
The upshot for kid? He's on the calendar system - if we have a happy day, great. If not, the day gets an unhappy face and some privileges are removed. And things like a smart mouth or not following directions are getting much stiffer consequences, which he found out to his chagrin last night when not settling down and watching that half hour of television cost him both the television AND the books set out. Honestly, I think he thought demanding it back would work. When it finally sunk in that no, it's not coming back and this is why - contrition was immediate and amazing. And he was very, very sorry. Yes, baby you are a very good boy, but you make mistakes. We try again tomorrow, okay?
That lasted until this morning when he decided to punch Dad in the package refusing to take his vitamins. *facepalm* I think he hadn't aimed, but. Hitting? Never a good plan.
*sighs*
Nearly everything on the birthday list right now is also on the 'Not Approved Right Now' list as well.
And I've advised everyone, including myself - bust him. If he does something you don't like, bust him. If you need my help, that's why I pay CREDO money every month. Use the damn phone.
The stuff I'm hearing about what his little cousin got away with while I wasn't paying attention in KY is pretty concerning - this is something I'm going to have to be far more vigilant with in the future. My kid is *bright* and files everything away - and if someone did him a wrong without consequences? Here we are. Mad? Yes, yes he was. All that practice again. I have a little Leo Rooster, remember. Watch me and if you don't, I'll MAKE you.
I'm going to have to factor in some praise opportunties because right now? He's getting corrected at a much higher rate right now and without some balance, that would wear anyone out.
(This is largely for my own reference, y'understand. Normal as rain in the springtime, work in progress and all that.)
Now. You want some of my benches for what Hard is? I've got a cakewalk going on here.
You ought to follow some of these folks.
http://thisworkstinks.blogspot.com/
http://atlasien.blogspot.com/
http://theattachmentchronicles.blogspot.com/
http://pflagfostermom.blogspot.com/
This is also one of those times when I pat myself on the back for deciding to put him in a full daycare/preschool environment - if he was home alone with me all day, he wouldn't get nearly the number of teaching moments with other kids and adults to learn the social skills I want him to have, namely you ain't the only oyster in the stew, there are other people who need attention and you have to learn to cope with that. And do it gracefully. Practice, practice, practice.
In other news, I've found nearly every teaching moment I get related to racism relevant to transracial adoption have been with POCs. Is sensitivity to this issue also a white privilege? I'm beginning to wonder. It's a huh moment, but yeah. You adopt transracially, be prepared to decide if you are going to teach or not every time something crops up and it will crop up. The latest example was explaining to another Taiwanese national that yes, my kid knows he's not white, that he's different from his adoptive parents and we don't make a secret of his adoption or his racial makeup. Yes, even at his age. He knows, for crying out loud. Why would I be less than honest about it? Yes, we talk about his adoption - he was three years old and remember everything about it. What?
I think there's some wishful thinking that once the adoption is done, the kids forget everything and somehow that's better. Honestly. Yes, I will educate - when people get this blindered about the whole thing, what else can I do?
Hello, Wednesday. One more day.
The entire day, I couldn't reach him. Um, cell phone? Um, voicemail? Um, text messages? Hello, we pay money for these services for your benefit?
Intense. Not impressed.
The upshot for kid? He's on the calendar system - if we have a happy day, great. If not, the day gets an unhappy face and some privileges are removed. And things like a smart mouth or not following directions are getting much stiffer consequences, which he found out to his chagrin last night when not settling down and watching that half hour of television cost him both the television AND the books set out. Honestly, I think he thought demanding it back would work. When it finally sunk in that no, it's not coming back and this is why - contrition was immediate and amazing. And he was very, very sorry. Yes, baby you are a very good boy, but you make mistakes. We try again tomorrow, okay?
That lasted until this morning when he decided to punch Dad in the package refusing to take his vitamins. *facepalm* I think he hadn't aimed, but. Hitting? Never a good plan.
*sighs*
Nearly everything on the birthday list right now is also on the 'Not Approved Right Now' list as well.
And I've advised everyone, including myself - bust him. If he does something you don't like, bust him. If you need my help, that's why I pay CREDO money every month. Use the damn phone.
The stuff I'm hearing about what his little cousin got away with while I wasn't paying attention in KY is pretty concerning - this is something I'm going to have to be far more vigilant with in the future. My kid is *bright* and files everything away - and if someone did him a wrong without consequences? Here we are. Mad? Yes, yes he was. All that practice again. I have a little Leo Rooster, remember. Watch me and if you don't, I'll MAKE you.
I'm going to have to factor in some praise opportunties because right now? He's getting corrected at a much higher rate right now and without some balance, that would wear anyone out.
(This is largely for my own reference, y'understand. Normal as rain in the springtime, work in progress and all that.)
Now. You want some of my benches for what Hard is? I've got a cakewalk going on here.
You ought to follow some of these folks.
http://thisworkstinks.blogspot.com/
http://atlasien.blogspot.com/
http://theattachmentchronicles.blogspot.com/
http://pflagfostermom.blogspot.com/
This is also one of those times when I pat myself on the back for deciding to put him in a full daycare/preschool environment - if he was home alone with me all day, he wouldn't get nearly the number of teaching moments with other kids and adults to learn the social skills I want him to have, namely you ain't the only oyster in the stew, there are other people who need attention and you have to learn to cope with that. And do it gracefully. Practice, practice, practice.
In other news, I've found nearly every teaching moment I get related to racism relevant to transracial adoption have been with POCs. Is sensitivity to this issue also a white privilege? I'm beginning to wonder. It's a huh moment, but yeah. You adopt transracially, be prepared to decide if you are going to teach or not every time something crops up and it will crop up. The latest example was explaining to another Taiwanese national that yes, my kid knows he's not white, that he's different from his adoptive parents and we don't make a secret of his adoption or his racial makeup. Yes, even at his age. He knows, for crying out loud. Why would I be less than honest about it? Yes, we talk about his adoption - he was three years old and remember everything about it. What?
I think there's some wishful thinking that once the adoption is done, the kids forget everything and somehow that's better. Honestly. Yes, I will educate - when people get this blindered about the whole thing, what else can I do?
Hello, Wednesday. One more day.