Completely at random -

[kyburg]

Self, you're a whole lot smarter than you thought you were. Case in point? Every trip is a trifecta to me - housing, car, how-you-got-there - and I just got reminded that I was a smart little penny and bought the trip to KY back when we got the tax return because I was smart that way. Only thing undone is the car rental, which unless you priceline, you don't pay upfront (and company has a corporate account that pets me on the head, so guess what I did).

Yes, you think ahead, you can afford eggrolls. I'll remind my fella of that.

I should be teaching diabetes training. Two people I know just got diagnosed and the education mentioned is just what-inducing. This is not easy stuff to get your head around and if you're newly diagnosed, you're NOT going to be at your best for retention and comprehension...and what I'm seing is just 'throw it at the wall and see what sticks.'

Teach it, try it, revise, repeat. Oh, and is your trainer also diabetic? Oh...has a diabetic friend or family member. Oh. Sat in a classroom on it? Oh. Right. Not even that. *facesmacks* Swear, some of the stuff sounds like 'insert miracle here' in a box, and it's more than thirty years old.

I may call Cliff's old doctor just to vent. He'd understand.

I'd teach the old ADA exchange system with some mods. I would NOT teach patients to give insulin into the abdomen - EVER. (And I should make some YouTube vids on how to self-give in the arm, thigh. I know some nifty, ask me.) I asked Cliff's doctor about the location bit - because there's always some bright penny out there to claim there's some study out there on absorption rates and then can never find it when I call bullshit on it - and he just shook his head and said to do what worked for us. There was nothing significant to it, he said. And to me, when you're teaching somebody to jab themselves (sometimes for the first time in their lives) multiple times a day, it makes NO sense to tell them to jab into the one place on their bodies that's something other than muscle and bone. It's scary enough, for crying out loud. And it's tender - what?

Bet they're not saying a word what blood sugar levels - and massive fluctiations - do to your mood, and/or how much your mood influences them, are they? Bastids. And guess what - everyone has their own scale, so your mileage with DEFINITELY vary. That's a hallmark.

Grumble grumble grumble bitch. This stuff still makes me mad. This is not easy. And making light of it, short-shrifting the new patient on basics and all that? This makes Donna a real crank, in a hurry.

*tips hat to my newly diagnosed friends* The reason you're on a low-protein diet (no, really - all those carbs are for a reason)? Low-protein diets in diabetics tend to stave off kidney disease complications and can actually reverse some damage. Nobody is TELLING you this, of course - they just wrote the diet plans and put them in the box without telling anyone about it. *kicks* Seriously. Hang towards the most complex carbs (add fat to them) as you can (that's whole grains and close-to-the-ground starches, add fat of choice in moderation), keep the fruit exchanges to a minimum (and treat tomatoes like fruit for this exercise), and let's bug Graham Kerr to write some cookbooks for us. The more complex, the better - they burn off more slowly. Usually. In some people, Grape Nuts are the bomb for blood sugar, in others, they can last all morning on it with out a ripple. Again - teach, test, revise, repeat. You'll find out. Also - remember, good management is not a destination. This whole thing is a process without reaching an endpoint. Readings are indicators and information - not value judgments on you. Learn the value of the word 'stable' over 'good' - I did say this was hard?

I've never been diabetic and I hate it. There.

You think this sucks, you ought to try managing diabetes and end-stage renal disease together. *growls*

I'm forming some ideas about what kind of birthday I want to have this year - since it's one of those 'decade' markers (and it's the 50th, if you're asking). I'm thinking the party I've never had. See, I don't think I've had a party with invitations and all that since I was 12.

I'm thinking OMG call the cops to shut it down block party. Taiko drummers, fire dancers, get Tommy and Brandon some mikes and break out the karaoke machine NOISE. A cake the size of my car, and cupcake satellite towers. Carnival games - with good prizes. Photo booth. Tiki drinks. LOUD Hawaiian shirts. I'll start it at 10:30 in the morning and go until we drop from exhaustion. PUNCH by the VAT. Souvenier mugs, maybe.

*ahems* November 14th and that's a Sunday. Save the date. I'll have to see what kind of budget I can scrounge up.

I can tell you now I have always had an Amazon wishlist (and one at ThinkGeek), but in particular? If you can find me a Yellow Submarine cookie jar, or a lucky waving cat one? Yeah. Full of bath fizzies? Even better.

First one to show up with a black balloon gets tossed in the pool. NO HILLS.

The rest is subject to change without notice. ^^

Comments

[lykophile.livejournal.com]

You know what else sucks? Managing diabetes and post-gastric bypass. It's a bitch.

[caitlin.livejournal.com]

What if someone was to show up with a whole bunch of balloons... mostly red with one black? ;)

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

BITCH BITCH BITCH

*rinses* Oh very yes.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

You'd have to bring enough for everybody. ^^

[caitlin.livejournal.com]

enough red balloons or enough black? ;)

[snobahr.livejournal.com]

Or is a balloon with a picture of Sirius Black?

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Enough. You know. Enough.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

...

[caitlin.livejournal.com]

Well if I do that, there might not be enough room in the house for PEOPLE! ;)

[odiedragon.livejournal.com]

Honestly I just found out that a lot of my problems this past week have been self-induced by not taking the right amount of long-acting insulin. For some reason, I thought that 40 means 4 on the pen I was given, like each click was equal to 10.

Yep, that'll fuck someone right up.

Why is the abdomen so bad? Right now I'm more concerned about getting the shots in, period. I'll worry more about placement later.

[odiedragon.livejournal.com]

And honestly I'm not on a diet per se. I was told just to eat about 45-60 carbs a meal. Which still sounds like a shittonne to me, but I can't say for sure until I get this dosage problem straitened out.

[thatwordgrrl.livejournal.com]

You get me drummers? I bring you dancers.

SRSLY!

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

So we let some loose. The kid would dig that, believe me.

[paperwings86.livejournal.com]

Sounds fun, we'd love to come! But our babies will be barely weeks old

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

IT HURTS. Lots more and squick?

There are few things that will make me 'seeing-little-red-dots' angrier than anything that makes this more painful, harder or costlier than it absolutely has to be, because somebody just won't think any further than what's on the list somebody who doesn't care gave them.

*pants*

God, if I hadn't dealt with it directly myself enough times - and by the time I got there, Cliff had had to cope with it since he was five years old and couldn't even take a pee in private.

Tell me more about this pen thingie -

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Play it by ear - that's all you can do!

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

I have at last count, four taiko groups here in Torrance alone. And I can go to UCLA for more, if need be or Little Tokyo.

*rubs hands together* Oh, this has promise indeed....

[amanda-nye.livejournal.com]

birthday sounds like fun... might have to make the trek for this... and finally see the kid!

[snobahr.livejournal.com]

We wouldn't ask these things if we weren't your friends...

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Yes, this would be good!

[notlefthanded.livejournal.com]

I've never been diabetic and I hate it.

Seconded, thirded, fifty-thirded...

[elfwench.livejournal.com]

I'm forming some ideas about what kind of birthday I want to have this year - since it's one of those 'decade' markers (and it's the 50th, if you're asking). I'm thinking the party I've never had. See, I don't think I've had a party with invitations and all that since I was 12.

Same here. My 50th last year was nice and blissfully drama free, but underwhelming. I think I would have really liked a party. Like you, I haven't had one since I was a wee one.

You know, sometimes I really wish we were neighbors as well as friends. I just got myself one of those CARE Medical History bands... latex free rubber USB bracelet on which you can store your medical history, insurance info, emergency contact info and it saves it in HTML format. $20 dollars for some peace of mind, I like that. (And Robert highly approved of that decision, too.) Were we neighbors, with your medical sensibilities and as close as I feel to you, I would definitely put you as one of the emergency contacts.

[odiedragon.livejournal.com]

Google "lantis pen" or "novolog pen" and that should give you some idea.

Honestly? It doesn't hurt more than anywhere else. In fact, I've run into places that hurt when I try other areas. The abdomen, not so much. Remember that I have a lot of abdomen ;P

[misskris.livejournal.com]

I think I need to start working on making those bath fizzies. Especially so there's enough to fill a cookie jar...

[nagasvoice.livejournal.com]

I think if you consult with johno he could get you taiko drummers that could close down the neighborhood for six blocks around, if you wanted.

[magaliiiii.livejournal.com]

lkjf;lsadhg;alsdhg please don't, animals will choke on them

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

*Googles* Feh. Training wheels and I'll bet it's a small fatted calf in cost. Have they even mentioned training you to draw your own insulin? That would have prevented the dosing error right up front - because you would have known what a unit is, no question about it.

I should be teaching this. And tell me absoption is faster through that site instead of IM like it's designed for, go ahead.

Hello chip, meet shoulder. Yep. I'll admit it up front.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

It's not the amount, but having a measurable, known amount. You have to know what is going in to know what to give to get good stuff going out.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

*snickers* John knows me from my QL days - I'd approach him except it's just so far to come!

[odiedragon.livejournal.com]

Honestly it's not as costly as I was expecting (since I'm fortunate enough (for now) to have insurance). There hasn't been talk of drawing my own, well, there was, but in the context of "that isn't how it's done anymore except by those who won't let go"

How am I supposed to know what's better for absorption and what isn't?? And what is IM in this context?

[odiedragon.livejournal.com]

Well, yeah, that's why I'm tracking what I'm eating.

I don't see why you're so upset about this. Now that I know it was my fuck-up, I'm okay with everything. I'll track my readings, send them to my doctor, and we'll talk adjustments/meds when the tests she ordered yesterday come back. I have to make an appointment with the diabetic educator and another nutritionist. Honestly I don't see what else they could be doing, save hospitalizing me again and hooking me up to an insulin drip. It has to be dealt with in a real-life context eventually...

I know you're trying to help, but I'm just not feeling the vitriol about the situation that you are. This is not unexpected, and in fact, it's LOADS less scary and bad than I thought it would be. I'm fine with it. The only issue I have is that I'm not telling my parents because it would give them something to feel high and mighty about, and they'd freak, and expect to control what I eat when I'm there or at least make unnecessary accommodations and TALK ABOUT THEM LIKE FUCKING CRAZY OMG SHUT UP!!!!! Fuck that noise.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

*facepalm* My grief, let me show you it.

When I showed up on the scene, Cliff was walking around with a blood sugar over 900, probably closer to 1000. Walking around, going to classes - yup. (He was just about unkillable, and that's well-documented.) Diabetes really forced me into a tough choice early on - either I would have to admit I loved him enough to tackle whatever that would toss me (and I'm a nurse's kid, I knew what I was signing up for) or run like hell and never speak to him again because I would have to own up to why I had, and THAT was something I couldn't accept.

About the first thing I did was change his medical care significantly. New doctors, new approaches, more education - and his family never forgave me from taking him away from the team in Arcadia (and I'll say it in clear because they were INEPT) that had almost killed him and worked his care over as hard as possible. I changed everything - and those high sugars became a thing of the past. But after 20+ years of ROTTEN control, damage had been done. People had expected him dead before I met him - the fact he was still walking around approaching adulthood surprised them. Fuck THAT.

People would tell me he lived ten years longer because of me. All I know is I have a very short fuse with providers who don't teach, don't work as hard as they demand their patients do and so on. I'm not there, so I can't do much but kibbitz from the sidelines. Cliff had terrible care - and terrific care. Depended on where we got it from, and I can't tell you how many times I stayed on/by the phone to give direction instead of jumping in the car to drive to the hospital.

I'd spare you any part of the learning curve I could. I want you empowered with huge, big tools and knowledge - more than anyone else - about just how you work. I want to see you writing your own meal plans and loading your own syringes.

Because we were happiest when we did, and diabetes affected our lives the least when that was the case.

But it wasn't enough - and I blame the bad care (really, it's a totally different disease when you get your diagnosis in the late 60's) for his early demise. And I am deeply, well-ingrained angry still about it.

Shit, I'm angry ANYONE has to go through this. There, I said it.

Apologies.

As for your parents? Unless you're not biologically related to them, one (or both) of them likely passed the Type II down to you. I've never met a Type II that couldn't point to another family member - a sibling, a cousin, an aunt, a grandparent, Mom, Dad - who also had it. I'd blame them both and offer a blood sugar test (this was easier when you did them with lancets and strips instead of meters, but) on the spot if they find out and start getting huffy.

Cliff's parents...oh ghad. My mother? Oh ghad. I completely understand what you mean.

Twelves years gone and I'm still angry. Again - this is my stuff, and I completely apologize.

[odiedragon.livejournal.com]

No no, it's okay, I figured it was something like this.

I just don't feel like I'm getting that kind of treatment. People are *trying* to help. Hell, my doctor called me out of the blue last Friday just to check on me and my sugars. They want me to see a nutritionist and a diabetic educator. They seemingly want to make this as painless as possible. There still talking drugs too, but maybe not exclusively. Dr is waiting on some tests to return first.

I'm certain the gene came from my dad. Well, from his mother, but yeah. He tortures himself with his health, which is probably the only reason why he never came down with it. He loves playing the martyr when it comes to health and eating. And I DO NOT want them a) trying to accomidate me and b) having passive-aggressive superiority complexes foisted on me over it.

Me? I'm not angry. I've expected this. Granted, I expected it more at 43 than 33, but whatever. We're here now, and I'm hoping I get better eating habits and a better outlook on life because of it.

I may have more to say, but I'm leaving work now. I do appreciate the support, I just don't feel the need for the anger. From my POV. From yours, it makes sense.