w00t w00t booyah

He's gotten in BIG trouble at school the last few days (well, big in comparison to the normal ebb and flow that's normal for him) - he's been going in the bathroom and turning out all the lights! Tee hee!

Well, not so much.

Dad's talked to him. I picked him up yesterday and found out he'd done it again, so I got to talk to him too.

He lost television privileges last night. Does it again today, it's that and all the video games. And a time-out when he gets home. This is serious business, yo. He also got in trouble this week for putting a bucket on a classmate's head. Why? I think he was being teased, but you don't handle that by putting a bucket on their head, son.

Rascally rascal boy.

To balance that out, church is doing a series of seminars/studies on the 'Living the Question' series, progressive Christianity stuffs (Here's an overview on YouTube, check it.) which, while it's reaffirming for me - has also become something of a teaching moment for pastor to take advantage of. Last one was Wednesday night, and pastor had something from the previous Sunday to share with everyone - and involved my kid.

Homecoming was last weekend - so we had a huge BBQ, with mountains of chips. Corn chips, potato chips, all kinds of flavors. My kid will turn down chocolate chip cookies (and did) for salty, delicious chips. Could eat his weight in them.

He's identified a few members of the congregation as 'his' at this point - the family with the adopted son from Russia being one group...and pastor. (Which will be TOUGH at some point, she's only the interim and it'll be work to stay in touch when she leaves.) But she's finding it very touching.

Last Sunday, he saved her from an ant in the chips. I must have either been cooking, cleaning or something as he didn't get me - he got her, who must have been closer.

Calling her over urgently, he pointed and identified the ant in the chips. Something at a loss, pastor asked him 'what do you want to do?'

"I'll take care of it." Gently, he picked up the ant out of the bowl and put him on the ground. D'awww.

Very sweet, but that's also my kid too. He's not the automatic bug squisher and frankly would be very confused if someone's cat or dog didn't like him - because he has always approached them with respect and care. Not so much as an eye poke, ear pull or tail grab.

But oh, he is a rascal, that one. Turning out the light in the bathroom! Tee hee!

Well, he can't keep doing that. Such a six year old.

He's gotten in BIG trouble at school the last few days (well, big in comparison to the normal ebb and flow that's normal for him) - he's been going in the bathroom and turning out all the lights! Tee hee!

Well, not so much.

Dad's talked to him. I picked him up yesterday and found out he'd done it again, so I got to talk to him too.

He lost television privileges last night. Does it again today, it's that and all the video games. And a time-out when he gets home. This is serious business, yo. He also got in trouble this week for putting a bucket on a classmate's head. Why? I think he was being teased, but you don't handle that by putting a bucket on their head, son.

Rascally rascal boy.

To balance that out, church is doing a series of seminars/studies on the 'Living the Question' series, progressive Christianity stuffs (Here's an overview on YouTube, check it.) which, while it's reaffirming for me - has also become something of a teaching moment for pastor to take advantage of. Last one was Wednesday night, and pastor had something from the previous Sunday to share with everyone - and involved my kid.

Homecoming was last weekend - so we had a huge BBQ, with mountains of chips. Corn chips, potato chips, all kinds of flavors. My kid will turn down chocolate chip cookies (and did) for salty, delicious chips. Could eat his weight in them.

He's identified a few members of the congregation as 'his' at this point - the family with the adopted son from Russia being one group...and pastor. (Which will be TOUGH at some point, she's only the interim and it'll be work to stay in touch when she leaves.) But she's finding it very touching.

Last Sunday, he saved her from an ant in the chips. I must have either been cooking, cleaning or something as he didn't get me - he got her, who must have been closer.

Calling her over urgently, he pointed and identified the ant in the chips. Something at a loss, pastor asked him 'what do you want to do?'

"I'll take care of it." Gently, he picked up the ant out of the bowl and put him on the ground. D'awww.

Very sweet, but that's also my kid too. He's not the automatic bug squisher and frankly would be very confused if someone's cat or dog didn't like him - because he has always approached them with respect and care. Not so much as an eye poke, ear pull or tail grab.

But oh, he is a rascal, that one. Turning out the light in the bathroom! Tee hee!

Well, he can't keep doing that. Such a six year old.

With the departure of Rey yesterday, the birthday whirlwind that seems to crop up every year around kid's birthday officially ended and we returned to normal time, such as it is.

I'm beginning to think this will probably be a regular occurrence, since this is the third birthday we've had with Xander, and the third time the exact same course of events have transpired. And every time, it gets a little easier. *whew*

This year, with all the new school stresses? Scaled waaaay back. Like, go set up outside the Columbia Memorial Space Center near where Jim works with a card table, cupcakes and a cooler with drinks in it. Presents? Why, thank you - here, leave that there, go sign in with the front desk and have fun inside the Museum. TOUCH EVERYTHING.

And so, they did. I was surprised that so many of the kids from new school showed up - bonus - but sad that none of the kids from preschool made it. Not one. And he's missing them so. *grump* Will have to keep trying to make those playdate connections.

But under the circumstances, did not insist on my family showing up. Sis and her crew? Sure - that's easy. But moving my Mom from Hemet in for a party that had no places to sit? Not so much. I'm not sure my younger brother is very understanding of this, but it just didn't hit the radar to consider inviting her to such a thing.

I'm going out there in two weeks to make amends, you understand.

The after-party dinner was at the Shin Sen Gumi Yakitori restaurant near the house and I think we were 15 people and had the best time ever.

I also had at least six games of Pokemon working, doing last minute trades. Not with kid - me. *snicker*

The night of the actual birthday, we went to Benihana per kid's request - and did dinner. He loved it. Me, I think I'll turn the leftover chicken into chicken salad sandwiches.

We're still opening toys. Haven't read any of the new books yet.

Kid...is a little somber around the edges. We're expecting more of him, and there has been a ton of attention on him this week, which might not always be welcome. (My kid, a tad introverted? It's possible.)

But not a preschooler anymore, by definition - and that kind of cocks my head. Not a toddler, not a preschooler. I have a kid kid now. We're both adjusting.



(I did say outside, right? Man - I *was* pleasantly pink that night, wasn't I?)

Some Taiwanese women are reluctant to have children.

"We think it's not suitable to raise children, especially in Taiwan. In Taiwan, when a girl gets married she has to sacrifice a lot," one says.

"Once she reaches a certain academic level she can't just stay at home and take care of kids and her parents-in-law, but that's still what the older generation expects from them."

Another says: "Taiwan's work hours are really long. That makes it difficult to get married and have kids. You might not have much free time and it's hard to relax."

My agency right now is placing more children born in Taiwan than are born in mainland China. Why? The kids are there, needing families. More of them now than in the China program.

The wait right now is about two years - for an infant, mind. The hardest kind of adoption to find. If you are willing to adopt from foster care, older child? No problem. Six months, most of that court process time. For the China program? Check my profile - our LID for China was 02/27/07. Right now, five years and could go to seven.

In our case, our child was left at the hospital by the first mother. He was not the product of the marriage she was in - and at the time, presented with minor medical need. He was placed for adoption essentially at birth, but waited over two years before being released for a placement overseas. He wasn't special in that regard, as I'm finding.

So - not only do you have a significantly reduced birthrate, even infants released for adoption at birth aren't finding families. It's that tough and if you have a choice? You don't chose to become parents.

Here in the States, the primary indicator for declaring bankruptcy if you're female is whether or not you have children, married or single.

We are still positive on birthrate. But our children live in poverty at a rate most people would find horrifying - if they knew and actually processed what that meant. Remember, bankruptcy indicator.

It's not simple enough to say the wrong people are having children - ANYONE having children are subject to this risk of absolute financial disaster, no other factors consulted.

And still, the CW is 'I got mine, screw you! I don't want to pay for ANYONE else but me!'

Gosh, this just doesn't work. I don't know that we need to be overly concerned about global warming or not. A species that doesn't reproduce...and then rejects their young? Um. Yeah. That. That's painting with a broad brush, but geez.

(By comparison, even places that provide all kinds of incentives aren't doing much better - but being an absolute indicator of whether you're going to be a winner or a loser? It doesn't get much starker than this.)

Some Taiwanese women are reluctant to have children.

"We think it's not suitable to raise children, especially in Taiwan. In Taiwan, when a girl gets married she has to sacrifice a lot," one says.

"Once she reaches a certain academic level she can't just stay at home and take care of kids and her parents-in-law, but that's still what the older generation expects from them."

Another says: "Taiwan's work hours are really long. That makes it difficult to get married and have kids. You might not have much free time and it's hard to relax."

My agency right now is placing more children born in Taiwan than are born in mainland China. Why? The kids are there, needing families. More of them now than in the China program.

The wait right now is about two years - for an infant, mind. The hardest kind of adoption to find. If you are willing to adopt from foster care, older child? No problem. Six months, most of that court process time. For the China program? Check my profile - our LID for China was 02/27/07. Right now, five years and could go to seven.

In our case, our child was left at the hospital by the first mother. He was not the product of the marriage she was in - and at the time, presented with minor medical need. He was placed for adoption essentially at birth, but waited over two years before being released for a placement overseas. He wasn't special in that regard, as I'm finding.

So - not only do you have a significantly reduced birthrate, even infants released for adoption at birth aren't finding families. It's that tough and if you have a choice? You don't chose to become parents.

Here in the States, the primary indicator for declaring bankruptcy if you're female is whether or not you have children, married or single.

We are still positive on birthrate. But our children live in poverty at a rate most people would find horrifying - if they knew and actually processed what that meant. Remember, bankruptcy indicator.

It's not simple enough to say the wrong people are having children - ANYONE having children are subject to this risk of absolute financial disaster, no other factors consulted.

And still, the CW is 'I got mine, screw you! I don't want to pay for ANYONE else but me!'

Gosh, this just doesn't work. I don't know that we need to be overly concerned about global warming or not. A species that doesn't reproduce...and then rejects their young? Um. Yeah. That. That's painting with a broad brush, but geez.

(By comparison, even places that provide all kinds of incentives aren't doing much better - but being an absolute indicator of whether you're going to be a winner or a loser? It doesn't get much starker than this.)

I wish I had hated that school. Took kid in this AM to do a 'ride-along' (Jim will be there all day with him) at the Montessori school down in RPV, right on the ocean and OMG can you smell the money-ville.

Right now, I'm glad I don't have to commit to it. Because it was awesome. It's also more expensive, further away from home - will force a work schedule change, putting me home even later than I get there now and putting our work schedules even further out of sync than they are now. More expensive. In every way.

But damn, he did well. And I could see the wheels turning in that little head.

I also had to do the hated 'talking about me while I can hear you' stuff with teachers - about the adoption, about how smart I think he is...all those things, and I know he hates it. Well. Sorry.

But if they show us the door later this week - and this place will accept him - there are worse things. Not cheaper things, worse things.

I just wish I didn't have to think in those terms. Yanno?

He's so much better this week. If this is a teacher issue and not a school issue - well, bother it won't matter much. Current school only has one classroom per grade, a teacher issue IS a school issue.

I just wonder what the 'better' parent thing is. Better school fit and only sees me rested on the weekends - or the make it work fit and more present parent time?

Dither bother bah.

Yesterday, I got an amazing phone call. Turns out, calling your congresscritter DOES work to your advantage. The best part is that I'd likely call him anyway, as much trouble as we've been in - Ted, save my bacon! Someone is stealing my bacon! It's BAAAACON!!!

Gawdernit.

I'd better laugh. It's that or kill things.

Turns out that being told I had to wait for public school to open, enroll my kid, walk him into a classroom and watch him struggle and fail out of it before an IEP could be *considered* let alone received, was not true. (Even thought that was what I had been told, just about as fast as possible before I could be hung up on.)

See, I got a call from a Director, relative to the LAUSD for the division of special education - after a number of people had been consulted - during a summer break, mind; they had to go out and find these guys on their vacations - and it was enlightening, to be blunt.

One, LAUSD and the State of California do not abandon you after they accredit your private school and leave you to cope with accommodation if you child needs it. There actually is a 'shadow' to what you would expect in the public system for the private - it's not as robust, mind but it's there - and my kid is enrolled in school. If he needs an IEP, he will get one. I will not need to move him to get it. And if current school can be 'fixed' to accept kid with the presenting features (hell, this week alone makes me wonder where exactly the problem IS anymore), I can't imagine they would refuse the services to make it happen.

He might get it in his home district - or he will get it in the nifty one the school lies in. That will come next two weeks or so.

Monday, his teacher went on vacation...and I brought in a doctor's note for kid. Tuesday, he goes on field trip and sticks the landing. The rest of the week has gone as well or better.

At home, kid is still waking up checking for us in the wee hours - and the night after the field trip, woke up calling for his teacher not to forget where he was. "Miss Angie, I'm right here!"

That's not every night, but often enough still to motivate us in the daylight hours to find a way to make it stop.

But the sheer amount of vibrating in place seems to be waning a bit. We've run into other kids and teachers from the old school too lately - it's definitely something in favor. I've also been actively working to find things to 'put back' from routines held from old school. It means hash browns for breakfast from Burger King once in a while, and playing video games instead of talking to me - but.

What have I learned.

You don't quit. You don't stop being a pushy broad and if you're scared witless, it's okay for that to work in your favor.

And there's a lot more to this - at least in the State of California - than I thought. More to come, I am sure of it.

But now, I think I can start picking up other things where they left off and stop doing this 110% of my waking time. For a while. Works in progress, things in motion - that sort of thing.

Yesterday, I got an amazing phone call. Turns out, calling your congresscritter DOES work to your advantage. The best part is that I'd likely call him anyway, as much trouble as we've been in - Ted, save my bacon! Someone is stealing my bacon! It's BAAAACON!!!

Gawdernit.

I'd better laugh. It's that or kill things.

Turns out that being told I had to wait for public school to open, enroll my kid, walk him into a classroom and watch him struggle and fail out of it before an IEP could be *considered* let alone received, was not true. (Even thought that was what I had been told, just about as fast as possible before I could be hung up on.)

See, I got a call from a Director, relative to the LAUSD for the division of special education - after a number of people had been consulted - during a summer break, mind; they had to go out and find these guys on their vacations - and it was enlightening, to be blunt.

One, LAUSD and the State of California do not abandon you after they accredit your private school and leave you to cope with accommodation if you child needs it. There actually is a 'shadow' to what you would expect in the public system for the private - it's not as robust, mind but it's there - and my kid is enrolled in school. If he needs an IEP, he will get one. I will not need to move him to get it. And if current school can be 'fixed' to accept kid with the presenting features (hell, this week alone makes me wonder where exactly the problem IS anymore), I can't imagine they would refuse the services to make it happen.

He might get it in his home district - or he will get it in the nifty one the school lies in. That will come next two weeks or so.

Monday, his teacher went on vacation...and I brought in a doctor's note for kid. Tuesday, he goes on field trip and sticks the landing. The rest of the week has gone as well or better.

At home, kid is still waking up checking for us in the wee hours - and the night after the field trip, woke up calling for his teacher not to forget where he was. "Miss Angie, I'm right here!"

That's not every night, but often enough still to motivate us in the daylight hours to find a way to make it stop.

But the sheer amount of vibrating in place seems to be waning a bit. We've run into other kids and teachers from the old school too lately - it's definitely something in favor. I've also been actively working to find things to 'put back' from routines held from old school. It means hash browns for breakfast from Burger King once in a while, and playing video games instead of talking to me - but.

What have I learned.

You don't quit. You don't stop being a pushy broad and if you're scared witless, it's okay for that to work in your favor.

And there's a lot more to this - at least in the State of California - than I thought. More to come, I am sure of it.

But now, I think I can start picking up other things where they left off and stop doing this 110% of my waking time. For a while. Works in progress, things in motion - that sort of thing.

Getting my morning cup of joe. Joe Starbucks, that is. Corner store, they know me well and everything - been there a ton of times.

And of course, I'm in a hurry and need to get out of there as fast as I got in. Running behind again.

There's a line. It's a Starbucks, it's morning, there's a line.

Today, it has a Dad and two sons. Older one is 13 if I'm a day, probably 12 and 175 lbs and as tall as Dad. Younger brother is 9, I could give him 10...and 55 lbs dripping wet. Won't reach MY shoulder, let alone Dad's.

I peruse the baked goods. Pumpkin bread? Pumpkin scone? Thinking about pumpkin spice lattes...and then?

*smack*

What the -

Yup. Big brother just hit little brother. HARD. As I watched, he did it again. Dad? Did nothing. Ordered the drinks and stepped to the bar.

Meanwhile, younger is trying to give as good as he got, and made it very clear verbally to 'get your hands OFF me!' For his trouble, his brother punched him again. Ha ha.

Dad...did nothing. Did not even make eye contact with either kid. Got his hot drink and went to doctor it.

Then left the store.

The kids are alone, waiting for two blended drinks. Big kid looks up and gets The Glare.

You know this one. The 'I saw what you did there, you do it again while we BOTH know I don't like it and I am gonna SCREAM SO LOUD....' glare.

Oops. Waved a bit and folded his hands. Good boy.

One got a vanilla frapp, the other one got strawberry. Big kid's was better, little kid's was stupid. I know, I got the pleasure of following them out to their car, where Dad was sitting listening to the radio.

Out of state plates. Van conversion. What are the odds. My mind is weighing both kinds of stories.

Y'see, I know when the economy starts picking up - that's when the out of state plates start showing up here, looking for work. They've been doing that since the Great Depression. Whether they find anything or not is something else entirely -

The flip side is that people move here and to avoid paying registration fees and having to meet emission standards, they never change the plates.

There's no Mom. And Dad was so passive, one has to wonder what's going on. There was no iPod, no cell phone conversation. He was right there and did nothing.

So angry. I want both those kids. I want to hand both those kids to Jim and then take that Dad apart. I can understand a lot. I can listen to anything. But dammit, it's not even NINE O'CLOCK and you're TIRED? You're WHAT.

Send one of them outside. Do something. Oh, I got ideas, bucko.

You don't hit people - and you don't pick on someone smaller than you just for the ugly fun of it.

I seriously doubt I'll cross paths with them again. I can only hope that happens in a Starbucks with a cop in it. A few more minutes and this morning's store would have.

Welcome to the living room of America, these days. Honestly.

Okay. Two things happened yesterday.

One, school got a letter from therapist (at my urging) outlining kid being seen in a therapeutic environment, meeting criteria for separation anxiety.

Two, his teacher is on vacation and he has a substitute.

So...that means at the end of the day, the substitute decides kid is going on field trip tomorrow to go bumper bowling with the rest of his class.

Phone call, everything. They called both of us until they reached one of us. (Me? On phone dealing with appointments. Go figure.)

Jim already had the day off to take him to the new school to check them - so that had to be rescheduled, but. He's going along on field trip - he just can't ride the bus with kid to do it. I'm fine with that.

So - in one fell swoop, I have kid back on field trips and parent allowed to attend and observe. Note things one and two.

I've told Jim I want answers. Too good. Waaaay too easy, with the month and a half we've put in.

If this is a teacher issue, not a school issue - end result is the same, but I'm going to be even less impressed.

But - I hope kid has a great time. He's earned it.

Me? Waiting for the other shoe to fall.