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kyburgSo - we went to see Kung Fu Panda 2. That's as far as I go before I throw up the spoiler warning from hell.
The chatter had been going through the AP boards for weeks - the new Kung Fu Panda movie was *gasp and clutch THOSE PEARLS DEARS* going to have adoption issues as part of the plot! Horrors! Our children are going to be scarred for life! They're going to be harmed!
They're going to be reminded they're adopted!
Pardon me while I pick my jaw up off the floor and attempt to keep a civil tongue in my head. I don't have a lot of patience with APs who won't grapple with adoption as a reality in their lives, and if it's every day - it's every day. You're parenting, you adopted, this is your life. You don't duck the questions, you don't deny the impacts, you don't coat it all in 'you should be happy/grateful/pick a color' because you could have ended up...pick a state. Most say dead. Some say in an orphanage. Just...don't, okay?
It's embarrassing.
Adoption is not the new pregnant. Adoption is not the cure for infertility. Adoption, when you're the adoptee, is an experience unto itself apart from any the adoptive parent knows. Families form by adoption, but they do not experience it in the same ways - trying to make it so usually means something has been cut off to make it fit, and it isn't the parents getting the amputations.
I'm pretty annoyed - the same people who were up in arms about this, claiming they had been lied to, led on and so forth with the claims that this was a 'family film' and 'okay for children' completely missed the fact the first movie was all about adoption too. Honestly. Shifu had been the adoptive parent of the Bad Guy, for crying out loud!
Cutting to the chase - the movie is about Po encountering his past, suddenly and without warning. Intruders arrive in the valley at the border, wearing insignia that send Po into a PTSD flashback. Violence, the face of his mother leaving him behind - strong enough to freeze him in his tracks. (And making him one hell of a target in the fight.)
Po confronts his Dad. What he gets is confirmation of what he has always suspected - but then, very little more. He arrived with a shipment of vegetables and nothing more is known. (But he had kept the box.)
On and on, the story goes - the bad guy is an amazing peacock (Best. Bad Guy. EVER.) who just wants to blow everything up. Because his future had been foretold to be ended by pandas - he had gone out and ended the pandas, done deal! But he had failed to get them all, y'see.
When Po finally crosses paths with the peacock, it's immediately clear that the bad guy? Is the only one who knows about Po's origins. Could he find out the truth from someone like that? The peacock was less than motivated to tell him anything that didn't serve to end Po instead of himself, to say the least. Yeah, he lied like a cheap rug.
Battered and nearly dead, Po finds himself rescued by the same soothsayer who had foretold the fate of the peacock, hiding out in the ruins of the village he was born in.
Very lucky Po, you ask me. Someone who had been there as well and only filled in the blanks - but HAD the information, all of it, on tap. Po gets everything he's been searching for - a complete history, knowledge of exactly what happened and everything just clicks.
One amazing memory recovery session later, Po confronts the peacock, kicks his ass and fulfills yet another pre-destined saving of the entire day, if not the world.
Okay, let me tell you why this movie rocks so hard as a piece on adoption.
1. It didn't pull up short when dealing with loss. Po *thinks* he was having nightmares about being left by his mother - turns out, it was disjointed memories he couldn't codify. Nobody denied him his losses. Po's father can't 'fix' the fact his son had a first father before him, but he sure tries by offering himself over and over and loving the crap out of Po in every way he can. But initially, Po has to go and find out - has to search - before coming back and accepting what his parent has for him. You get a very good look at the adoptive parent/adoptive child dynamic and it isn't always comfortable or pretty. But in this case? Honest. I like it.
2. Nobody said the word 'grateful.' Every time it was discussed, the loss of his first family and his adoption by a noodle shop goose is couched in terms of 'such sad beginnings, but the important thing is where and who you are now.' Acknowledgement of the loss, knowledge of who and why and the ability to set the wrongs done right at the end - but never, never gratitude for surviving or being adopted. This is what happened - was it all bad? (And with a quick clip sequence, it's clear that Po's life has actually been? Pretty awesome.) There is no 'this was meant to be' - even though the prophecy says Po is here to end the peacock's bullshit. Po is here, he fits the mold - but it could have been any panda, if one could have been found. In the end, it's not being a panda that made it work - but being the Kung Fu-iest master on the dock.
3. He wasn't the only one processing what was going on. Tigress? Dayim. Every time you turned around, there she was like she knew what was up. And well, she did. But nobody blamed adoption for the issues. This movie also showed up just how many people do get involved when a child loses its parents - Po was not lacking in any way for parenting, friendship or support. But it did take all of those people!
4. How many adoptees search for their identity in their first families? All of them. Is it critical to know? Yes. Did anyone deny him that? Only in an attempt to save him out of love, and that only delayed the inevitable. Did anyone think this was odd or ungrateful? No. Did the knowledge make Po stronger? It eliminated all the doubts and questions and allowed him to focus entirely on the task at hand. Period.
5. All of the adoptive parents were single fathers. Wrap your head around THAT one. Didn't even notice, did you? HA!
We took kid, who loved it. I'm pretty sure the flashback sequences bothered him - he doesn't want to talk about it, but it easily could be that they were boring and sad too. But here is another story like his that he can relate to. With a beginning, middle and end - he can see that a happy ending does not negate a sad, painful beginning and there is nothing wrong with being absolutely amazing where you are and moving forward from there.
Compare this to Tangled and you can see why I walked away from Tangled grumbling over the adoption mores abused once again. Trite, lightweight and convenient. Bah.
I'm going to try to see it again while it's still in the theaters.
The chatter had been going through the AP boards for weeks - the new Kung Fu Panda movie was *gasp and clutch THOSE PEARLS DEARS* going to have adoption issues as part of the plot! Horrors! Our children are going to be scarred for life! They're going to be harmed!
They're going to be reminded they're adopted!
Pardon me while I pick my jaw up off the floor and attempt to keep a civil tongue in my head. I don't have a lot of patience with APs who won't grapple with adoption as a reality in their lives, and if it's every day - it's every day. You're parenting, you adopted, this is your life. You don't duck the questions, you don't deny the impacts, you don't coat it all in 'you should be happy/grateful/pick a color' because you could have ended up...pick a state. Most say dead. Some say in an orphanage. Just...don't, okay?
It's embarrassing.
Adoption is not the new pregnant. Adoption is not the cure for infertility. Adoption, when you're the adoptee, is an experience unto itself apart from any the adoptive parent knows. Families form by adoption, but they do not experience it in the same ways - trying to make it so usually means something has been cut off to make it fit, and it isn't the parents getting the amputations.
I'm pretty annoyed - the same people who were up in arms about this, claiming they had been lied to, led on and so forth with the claims that this was a 'family film' and 'okay for children' completely missed the fact the first movie was all about adoption too. Honestly. Shifu had been the adoptive parent of the Bad Guy, for crying out loud!
Cutting to the chase - the movie is about Po encountering his past, suddenly and without warning. Intruders arrive in the valley at the border, wearing insignia that send Po into a PTSD flashback. Violence, the face of his mother leaving him behind - strong enough to freeze him in his tracks. (And making him one hell of a target in the fight.)
Po confronts his Dad. What he gets is confirmation of what he has always suspected - but then, very little more. He arrived with a shipment of vegetables and nothing more is known. (But he had kept the box.)
On and on, the story goes - the bad guy is an amazing peacock (Best. Bad Guy. EVER.) who just wants to blow everything up. Because his future had been foretold to be ended by pandas - he had gone out and ended the pandas, done deal! But he had failed to get them all, y'see.
When Po finally crosses paths with the peacock, it's immediately clear that the bad guy? Is the only one who knows about Po's origins. Could he find out the truth from someone like that? The peacock was less than motivated to tell him anything that didn't serve to end Po instead of himself, to say the least. Yeah, he lied like a cheap rug.
Battered and nearly dead, Po finds himself rescued by the same soothsayer who had foretold the fate of the peacock, hiding out in the ruins of the village he was born in.
Very lucky Po, you ask me. Someone who had been there as well and only filled in the blanks - but HAD the information, all of it, on tap. Po gets everything he's been searching for - a complete history, knowledge of exactly what happened and everything just clicks.
One amazing memory recovery session later, Po confronts the peacock, kicks his ass and fulfills yet another pre-destined saving of the entire day, if not the world.
Okay, let me tell you why this movie rocks so hard as a piece on adoption.
1. It didn't pull up short when dealing with loss. Po *thinks* he was having nightmares about being left by his mother - turns out, it was disjointed memories he couldn't codify. Nobody denied him his losses. Po's father can't 'fix' the fact his son had a first father before him, but he sure tries by offering himself over and over and loving the crap out of Po in every way he can. But initially, Po has to go and find out - has to search - before coming back and accepting what his parent has for him. You get a very good look at the adoptive parent/adoptive child dynamic and it isn't always comfortable or pretty. But in this case? Honest. I like it.
2. Nobody said the word 'grateful.' Every time it was discussed, the loss of his first family and his adoption by a noodle shop goose is couched in terms of 'such sad beginnings, but the important thing is where and who you are now.' Acknowledgement of the loss, knowledge of who and why and the ability to set the wrongs done right at the end - but never, never gratitude for surviving or being adopted. This is what happened - was it all bad? (And with a quick clip sequence, it's clear that Po's life has actually been? Pretty awesome.) There is no 'this was meant to be' - even though the prophecy says Po is here to end the peacock's bullshit. Po is here, he fits the mold - but it could have been any panda, if one could have been found. In the end, it's not being a panda that made it work - but being the Kung Fu-iest master on the dock.
3. He wasn't the only one processing what was going on. Tigress? Dayim. Every time you turned around, there she was like she knew what was up. And well, she did. But nobody blamed adoption for the issues. This movie also showed up just how many people do get involved when a child loses its parents - Po was not lacking in any way for parenting, friendship or support. But it did take all of those people!
4. How many adoptees search for their identity in their first families? All of them. Is it critical to know? Yes. Did anyone deny him that? Only in an attempt to save him out of love, and that only delayed the inevitable. Did anyone think this was odd or ungrateful? No. Did the knowledge make Po stronger? It eliminated all the doubts and questions and allowed him to focus entirely on the task at hand. Period.
5. All of the adoptive parents were single fathers. Wrap your head around THAT one. Didn't even notice, did you? HA!
We took kid, who loved it. I'm pretty sure the flashback sequences bothered him - he doesn't want to talk about it, but it easily could be that they were boring and sad too. But here is another story like his that he can relate to. With a beginning, middle and end - he can see that a happy ending does not negate a sad, painful beginning and there is nothing wrong with being absolutely amazing where you are and moving forward from there.
Compare this to Tangled and you can see why I walked away from Tangled grumbling over the adoption mores abused once again. Trite, lightweight and convenient. Bah.
I'm going to try to see it again while it's still in the theaters.
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no subject
Date: 2011-06-01 10:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-01 11:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-02 01:09 am (UTC)If I were her, I'd be pretty jealous of Po. Seriously.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-02 01:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-02 04:19 am (UTC)I have friends who adopted twin girls from Cambodia. They might be interested in this writeup. Would it be okay to share it with them?
no subject
Date: 2011-06-02 04:27 am (UTC)These people who adopted kids *are unwilling to face the fact that their kid is adopted*???
I just...and then... 0_o
What do they THINK they got? A bundle from the stork? WHUT???
People like that have no business having kids, either by childbirth OR adoption. The kid is not a goddamn lifestyle accessory.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-02 12:30 pm (UTC)She certainly did wake me up to how much family breaking there is in kids' movies, though. We showed her KIKI'S DELIVERY SERVICE, and she bailed on it when Kiki left home — she couldn't deal with that at the time, which was maybe four years ago (so no wonder!). After that, we realized that just about every movie made for kids has a missing parent or an orphan, or something like that. They're all Grimm's Fairy Tales in that respect!
no subject
Date: 2011-06-02 04:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-02 04:47 pm (UTC)http://chinaadopttalk.com/2011/05/10/kung-fu-panda-2-hes-adopted/
Here's just one I found. One, mind you. The comments, as always, are the best part.
Lifestyle accessory. Hrm. More like 'what everyone else has, and now I do too-ish.' You tell me.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-02 04:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-02 04:52 pm (UTC)What could possibly be MORE of a "family film" for an adoptive family than the movie you describe here?
Aaaaaarrrrggggghhhhhhh.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-02 04:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-02 04:57 pm (UTC)For kids, that is the ultimate what-if - unless it's already happened to you and it sucked, instead of being this great big adventure thing.
The single fathers thing just has me wrapped up giggling. So much for mothers being the only ones able to parent!
no subject
Date: 2011-06-02 04:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-02 04:59 pm (UTC)Honestly. People make me tired.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-02 05:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-02 09:02 pm (UTC)They're mad because the movie is talking about adoption, when *their own kids* are adopted? Because, yanno, it shouldn't be about the WORK???
Why are they sweeping this fact under the rug? If it is obvious to a kid as young as His Nibs, wouldn't it be obvious to other kids?
Also, just because Your Kid may not deal well with it, does not mean that All Adopted Kids won't deal well.
Yeah, Lifestyle Accessory. That's m'call and I'm sticking to it.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-02 09:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-02 10:31 pm (UTC)