Five years -
Sep. 17th, 2003 10:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kyburgI'm a bit early. By about four hours.
It will be five years ago tomorrow. The natural thing to do is compare now to then and see how much has changed. This year, far more than any other.
But I expected that. I made provisions for that. I expected change. I expected to grow away from where we had lived, grow away from the things we had done. It's a comfort to know I wasn't smoking crack when I thought about this in those days.
At the end of my life, the time I spent with Cliff will be a small fraction of the total - I expect to be around nearly 100 years. I can expect whatever I like. 15 years out of that is hardly a majority. And Jim is younger than me, and his family lives longer - so his time will be the majority.
Yet I take Cliff wherever I go, every day. He left me raw materials that I was able to pass onto to Jim - we both benefit from what he left us. His indomitable sense of fair, his cacked sense of humor, his sense of urgency.
He remains 36 years old - and way ahead of me still.
I could blow the word count out of the water - I'm saving it for later.
Give everyone my regards and tell them I'll see them later.
And it won't take but a day or so, and I'll notice that summer has left with him.
It will be five years ago tomorrow. The natural thing to do is compare now to then and see how much has changed. This year, far more than any other.
But I expected that. I made provisions for that. I expected change. I expected to grow away from where we had lived, grow away from the things we had done. It's a comfort to know I wasn't smoking crack when I thought about this in those days.
At the end of my life, the time I spent with Cliff will be a small fraction of the total - I expect to be around nearly 100 years. I can expect whatever I like. 15 years out of that is hardly a majority. And Jim is younger than me, and his family lives longer - so his time will be the majority.
Yet I take Cliff wherever I go, every day. He left me raw materials that I was able to pass onto to Jim - we both benefit from what he left us. His indomitable sense of fair, his cacked sense of humor, his sense of urgency.
He remains 36 years old - and way ahead of me still.
I could blow the word count out of the water - I'm saving it for later.
Give everyone my regards and tell them I'll see them later.
And it won't take but a day or so, and I'll notice that summer has left with him.
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Date: 2003-09-17 10:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-18 08:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-18 09:23 am (UTC)