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scifigrl47:

Me: (noticing a coworker’s laptop has jumino sticker on it) Oh! Do you play Stardew Valley?

Her: God yes.

Me: I had it for my computer, and since it came out on the Switch, I’m right back in.

Her: It’s so painful starting over, but at least I can avoid the problems I had with my last playthrough. Like, Romance.

Me: Who’re you doing?

(Elevator door opens, two managers get on)

Her: I tried with Shane. I really did. I gave it a good, honest try, but I can’t do this anymore.

Me: I don’t blame you.

Her: I get it, you’ve got a drinking problem, you might be suicidal, I get it, I’m not making light of it, but it’s not my problem. I’m not here to fix you. This isn’t fun, and it’s not healthy and I’m done.

Managers: (exchange an appalled look)

Me: Uh-

Her: So now I’m dating Emily mostly because I hate Clint and I want him to suffer for being an asshole. See? See how it is? I don’t even really like her, but I’m going to marry her so you can’t.

Me: Right, but-

Her: Also, I remembered to build a silo.

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March 2021

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