Time to ponder, to reflect -
Jun. 7th, 2006 03:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kyburgAnd chime in a very excellent posting subject.
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cadhla did a marvelous job the other day on a subject few people would admit they had - "things that really bug me, out of the ordinary range for normal behavior." And then invited discussion. (Not reading cadhla? She's one of the first people I found on LJ, outside of the people I'd know in RL who introduced me to it. Go - read now. She's an incredible source of girly good sense you won't get over here. Trust me.)
But the subject matter. Hmm. At the risk of turning it into a meme, I had to sit and let that one percolate for a day or two. Things that truly irk me - get under my skin and really piss me off are really far and few between these days. Will something come out of left field and smack me upside the head? If it has, the little voice inside my head immediately begins throwing warnings. You need to take another look at that - something's not right with the level of response/attention this is getting....
One thing I can say, if there are things that really irk me, they usually revolve around money - and that less than measurable corollary, resources used in place of money (time, energy, supplies, what have you). Be late. Waste what I can't get again - hours out of my life. That would bother anyone, I'd think.
Want to irk me? Commit me to owing a figure of money for something I had no input on when it came time to doing the budget. Just assume I can pull X amount of dollars out of my ass at a moment's notice. Sis is famous for this one - from when we were kids and she wanted me to chip in on a microwave oven (when I was getting $10 a month allowance, too young to work a part-time job and how much were those things back then? A grand? Right) to when she didn't want to take the train back out of USC to get home after commencement exercises some years ago, and wanted us to pay our fair share of the taxi ride home. To Diamond Bar. (My niece, who may earn about $12 an hour now, wasn't then, and had only the $4 in her pocket for the train fare back home for herself and her son? Yeah, cough it up, baby. Guess who paid her way home that night? You got it. Like I'd strand them out there alone to wait for the trains and such while we got home to party without them. *rolls eyes*)
You know, if I invite you out to dinner, tell you where we're going, and don't offer you a reasonable out on not going or going somewhere else? I'm buying. Seriously. You don't know how expensive it's going to be, you don't know anything at all about it - and if I'm going to rave about great the place is and how much you'll love it? I'd be something quite unmentionable to insist you do it all My Way and suck up the cost. I can't afford it, I don't suggest it. What an absolutely insensitive, thoughtless tease I'd be if I did.
You can offer - but chances are, if you liked it? You can pick up the tab next time. That's fair, right?
God, I hate the fact that some people just assume you've got it to spend on them or their pet projects. Me, I work from the place that I didn't inherit any, wasn't born with it and I'm not taking it with me, so why should I try like hell to acquire as much of it as I can, when I don't enjoy spending it (and believe me, I got a good dose of having too much money once - I bought too much food and got stupid on parking tickets. That was about it)? As long as things work, are neat, tidy and in good repair, what more do I need? I have boxes of jewelry I don't wear. Clothes? I'd like to go back to the 70's when things were comfortable as well as nice-looking (which was actually a toss-back to the 30's in a lot of ways). Maybe I'd have a few more pieces. But overall? *yawns* I don't want the big house, I don't want the fast car, I don't want the big screen television. I'd like another bunch of recipes for putting plums up, maybe. Or something good to use carrots in. I'd like to renovate the house a bit - but not buy another one someplace else. That's about the extent of my ambitions right now.
Jim has more pairs of shoes than I do. I fixed that this morning - mark it on your calendars. Donna bought shoes for herself.
Don't try to impress me with money. Don't commit me to something I have to pay for, without asking me first. Or assume I'll just go along with it and think it's all hunky-dory. (Chances are, I will - but come on. *twitch*)
Probably related? Snobbery. Honest. I've seen people sit in a Denny's and only use the sugar packets from C & H just to show me how much more refined their palates were, since they could tell cane sugar from that inferior beet sugar garbage!
It has to be something.
Take your pick of topic. Star Trek vs. Star Wars. SCA - you in or out? Cosplay (oh GHAD, TEH COSPLAY). Natural fibers vs. synthetic yarns. (One near and dear to me - North vs. South California? *twitch*) Live or Memorex...the list is endless.
The absolute need to prove oneself superior in a group. For no particular reason other than the individual's comfort level.
Hey, be a mensch. That's impressive enough for me. I'm not everyone's cup of tea - don't take it hard if you're not my one and only attention magnet. I don't have to get on your bandwagon, do I?
But the other things really didn't click with me. I grew up with very few people interested in calling me anything - being called sweetie, hon, sugar, etc - doesn't bother me. I don't have nicknames - the few handles I have are associative, not actual names per ce. Perhaps I'm just grateful to be noticed at all - which would be honest, at least.
You do know when a diminutive is intentionally cruel, after all. That's not a quirk. That's knowing you're being used badly. *chuckles* Probably by some snobbery going on...it's a favorite tactic, isn't it?
Feel free to air your own - no quirk too strange, too big or too small to mention. Let fly -
cadhla did a marvelous job the other day on a subject few people would admit they had - "things that really bug me, out of the ordinary range for normal behavior." And then invited discussion. (Not reading cadhla? She's one of the first people I found on LJ, outside of the people I'd know in RL who introduced me to it. Go - read now. She's an incredible source of girly good sense you won't get over here. Trust me.)But the subject matter. Hmm. At the risk of turning it into a meme, I had to sit and let that one percolate for a day or two. Things that truly irk me - get under my skin and really piss me off are really far and few between these days. Will something come out of left field and smack me upside the head? If it has, the little voice inside my head immediately begins throwing warnings. You need to take another look at that - something's not right with the level of response/attention this is getting....
One thing I can say, if there are things that really irk me, they usually revolve around money - and that less than measurable corollary, resources used in place of money (time, energy, supplies, what have you). Be late. Waste what I can't get again - hours out of my life. That would bother anyone, I'd think.
Want to irk me? Commit me to owing a figure of money for something I had no input on when it came time to doing the budget. Just assume I can pull X amount of dollars out of my ass at a moment's notice. Sis is famous for this one - from when we were kids and she wanted me to chip in on a microwave oven (when I was getting $10 a month allowance, too young to work a part-time job and how much were those things back then? A grand? Right) to when she didn't want to take the train back out of USC to get home after commencement exercises some years ago, and wanted us to pay our fair share of the taxi ride home. To Diamond Bar. (My niece, who may earn about $12 an hour now, wasn't then, and had only the $4 in her pocket for the train fare back home for herself and her son? Yeah, cough it up, baby. Guess who paid her way home that night? You got it. Like I'd strand them out there alone to wait for the trains and such while we got home to party without them. *rolls eyes*)
You know, if I invite you out to dinner, tell you where we're going, and don't offer you a reasonable out on not going or going somewhere else? I'm buying. Seriously. You don't know how expensive it's going to be, you don't know anything at all about it - and if I'm going to rave about great the place is and how much you'll love it? I'd be something quite unmentionable to insist you do it all My Way and suck up the cost. I can't afford it, I don't suggest it. What an absolutely insensitive, thoughtless tease I'd be if I did.
You can offer - but chances are, if you liked it? You can pick up the tab next time. That's fair, right?
God, I hate the fact that some people just assume you've got it to spend on them or their pet projects. Me, I work from the place that I didn't inherit any, wasn't born with it and I'm not taking it with me, so why should I try like hell to acquire as much of it as I can, when I don't enjoy spending it (and believe me, I got a good dose of having too much money once - I bought too much food and got stupid on parking tickets. That was about it)? As long as things work, are neat, tidy and in good repair, what more do I need? I have boxes of jewelry I don't wear. Clothes? I'd like to go back to the 70's when things were comfortable as well as nice-looking (which was actually a toss-back to the 30's in a lot of ways). Maybe I'd have a few more pieces. But overall? *yawns* I don't want the big house, I don't want the fast car, I don't want the big screen television. I'd like another bunch of recipes for putting plums up, maybe. Or something good to use carrots in. I'd like to renovate the house a bit - but not buy another one someplace else. That's about the extent of my ambitions right now.
Jim has more pairs of shoes than I do. I fixed that this morning - mark it on your calendars. Donna bought shoes for herself.
Don't try to impress me with money. Don't commit me to something I have to pay for, without asking me first. Or assume I'll just go along with it and think it's all hunky-dory. (Chances are, I will - but come on. *twitch*)
Probably related? Snobbery. Honest. I've seen people sit in a Denny's and only use the sugar packets from C & H just to show me how much more refined their palates were, since they could tell cane sugar from that inferior beet sugar garbage!
It has to be something.
Take your pick of topic. Star Trek vs. Star Wars. SCA - you in or out? Cosplay (oh GHAD, TEH COSPLAY). Natural fibers vs. synthetic yarns. (One near and dear to me - North vs. South California? *twitch*) Live or Memorex...the list is endless.
The absolute need to prove oneself superior in a group. For no particular reason other than the individual's comfort level.
Hey, be a mensch. That's impressive enough for me. I'm not everyone's cup of tea - don't take it hard if you're not my one and only attention magnet. I don't have to get on your bandwagon, do I?
But the other things really didn't click with me. I grew up with very few people interested in calling me anything - being called sweetie, hon, sugar, etc - doesn't bother me. I don't have nicknames - the few handles I have are associative, not actual names per ce. Perhaps I'm just grateful to be noticed at all - which would be honest, at least.
You do know when a diminutive is intentionally cruel, after all. That's not a quirk. That's knowing you're being used badly. *chuckles* Probably by some snobbery going on...it's a favorite tactic, isn't it?
Feel free to air your own - no quirk too strange, too big or too small to mention. Let fly -
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-06-07 11:38 pm (UTC)Here's your cookie:
http://www.sallys-place.com/food/columns/fussell/plumming.htm
no subject
Date: 2006-06-08 03:30 am (UTC)As for people-type organisms, I have my pet peeves, but I'm pretty forgiving-- yes, in a perfect world, everyone would pronounce my name correctly (first AND last names), be on time, and not read over my shoulder, but the world isn't perfect, nor is anyone in it. I only get really mad when someone is intentionally and deliberately rude and/or insulting (either to myself or someone I care about).
Keep in mind, I've been in the company-- twice!!-- of people who used the word "jewed him down" as an expression! I didn't get mad; both knew I was Jewish but neither realized it was an offensive expression. I just politely (but emphatically) requested they not use that expression anymore, and explained why. They were both embarrassed because they didn't realize what they were saying. I certainly didn't want to prolong their embarrassment so I let it go with a laugh as soon as it was all made clear.
I really believe in letting anything short of deliberate provocation go, though, because honestly, life's too short to fly into a rage every time someone says "co-conspirator".
no subject
Date: 2006-06-08 03:33 am (UTC)"I'm not racist but..."
And the usual it's-not-my-problem qualifiers. This just lets me know I can totally disregard what that person says.
CHEWING WITH MOUTH OPEN/SMACKING FOOD AAAAAAGGHHH it's a wonder I haven't gone Bruce Banner on someone's ass. When we go to Japan and eat noodles, I'll deal. Here in America? Rude as hell, and something people should learn not to do by age 5.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-08 02:15 pm (UTC)Go ahead. Say it again, motherfucker. Say IT again! Heh heh heh.
You know, I haven't had the "see food" problem around here lately - I think it would really irk me too. *thinks* Matter of fact, I know so. Hand me the tabasco sauce...if I can see it, I can aim for it!
no subject
Date: 2006-06-08 05:08 pm (UTC)Yeah. I fucking can't stand weasels who use that line. As if anyone with any sense would ever think that constitutes an apology!
no subject
Date: 2006-06-08 07:16 pm (UTC)"I'm sorry you're an idiot." Late husband's favorite!
no subject
Date: 2006-06-08 07:46 pm (UTC)I also wanted to apologize for the fact I didn't really get a chance to show you pictures of the bicycle and cabinet. The moving situation was utter madness, and as you could probably tell, I wasn't spending much time on the net. We decided to donate the couch to the Salvation Army, but before they even came, we had neighbors who were interested in all three items. So the items found a home, which made the move easier. More so, because I'm almost positive that no one would want that bicycle.
Just thought I'd let you know.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-08 09:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-09 04:22 am (UTC)Now, about that couch of mine - would YOU like it?