Names Names Names

[kyburg]

Michael Buday wants to become Michael Bijon. He is the husband of Diana Bijon and wants to take her surname because, he says, “Diana’s dad has become my father figure and I want to honor that.”

The problem is that, in most states, it is more difficult and expensive for a man to take his wife’s surname than for a woman to take her husband’s surname. Only six states currently allow a man to change his name to his wife’s as easily as vice versa. Those accommodating six are Georgia (which I’m proud to say is my state), Hawaii, Iowa, Massachusetts, New York, and North Dakota.

I've often said that there are times when women do get more options. How you decide to name yourself is one of them - I'm living proof. (Yeah, I field a large amount of resistance to having three last names, but once I explain why they're there, the resistance dissapears.) Hello, California - yeah, I got married in Hawaii and they explained that option to us then (we could also ADD any name we wished at that time as well).

johno and chriso, is this why you married in international waters? You really ought to say more about how you guys got married and chose the name you both would use - it's EXTREMELY cute and I never get tired of hearing the story.

Comments

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

I'm confused. In MN last I knew you could change to either party's last name upon marriage by so designating on the marriage certificate. What's the distinction?

I'm sure any sex-based differences would be unconstitutional.

[quu.livejournal.com]

there is, as far as I know, two reasons to change your name.

getting married
wanting to just change your name

if I wanted to change my name just for the hell of it, it requires allot of paperwork, background checks... stuff like that... to make sure I did not want to change my name to "reset" my credit and stuff like that

so while in California there is a fast track for a woman to get her name changed due to a wedding... a man must go through the longer process as if he was trying to just change it for the hell of things...

if a woman wanted to change her name, and it was not marriage related, she would have to go through the same process... the difference is that the man in California does not have the fast track option in a marriage that a woman does.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

All I had to do was go to social security and request a name change due to marriage.

Yanno, this one of the times being female was a gimme for that - I wonder what happened when he tried it - that's probably when he found out he couldn't do it.

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

I know all that - I'm married myself. But are you sure that a man cannot change his name at marriage just as a woman can in CA? Because if a woman can change her name at the time of marriage and a man can't, that's unconstitutional. Anyone could challenge that law and easily win.

In Minnesota - at least, five years ago when i got married - either spouse could change to the other spouses's last name, or both could change to a hyphenated last name, on the marriage certificate itself, bypassing the judicial process. My husband and I changed to a different name, so we had to go through the judicial system.

The list given in the post must therefore be wrong, as Minnesota is not listed as an egalitarian state re: name changes.

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

Patrick and I got our names changed together, and we had the exact same process at Social Security.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

The guy's filed in Redondo Beach - that's just down the road here. I'm anxious to see what happens - and yes, I'm sure the form is just the same for both spouses - it was the guy entering the data who probably went WOOPS. Federal form - state regulation.

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

what federal form are you speaking of? Marriage licenses are issued by the state. States, of course, must also abide by equal protection as required by the 14th amendment of the constitution. I find it very difficult to believe that all but six states have unconstitutional marriage laws.

The article is very vague on how the man was denied the right to change his name on the same basis as a woman. I have no doubt, however, that the man will win his court challenge. It is a no-brainer, given the constitutional law involved.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

The federal form for SSI - last time I looked at my marriage certificate, it didn't have my married name on it.

You have that to take it to show you need to change the names - but no, I don't think you have to have your married name showing on the certificate.

[quu.livejournal.com]

that was the point of the article...

the man can't change his name as easy as the woman... so the man is suing

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

(kicks California)

My sweetie wants a name change, and has for years. One option considered was changing his when we got married, because in theory it would be easier then... guess not. Bugger. Well, maybe this guy will win his case by the time we get around to it...

[moropus.livejournal.com]

Not fair at all.

[machineplay.livejournal.com]

It's a little more complicated in Canada, but not hard. I had to inform the person to whom I was married and get his signature, get two people to sign saying I was a resident of the province, have the forms notarized after I said I wasn't in debt or anything, mail it in with my old birth certificate, and pay a fee. 9 weeks later, I got back a change of name certificate, and a new birth certificate. Now I just go take it around to various places and get new health card and driver's license, no fee.

[nanakaoru.livejournal.com]

the latin way of having two family names just makes so much more sense to me for some reason...

the whole "taking up your husband's family name after marriage" isn't even institutionalised or anything, it's entirely optional. You just drop your mother's family name and use his father's family name as your second family name.

see? much easier... :D

no clue on how a man could change his last name to match his wife's tho...

[foogod.livejournal.com]

I had a friend a while back who got married, and wanted to change his name (they were doing the hyphenated name thing, so he wasn't even entirely changing it, just adding to it). I remember him telling me about the hoops he had to go through at the time.

Go to the DMV, they tell you you need to get a new Social Security card first.
Go to the Social Security office, and they won't do it without a new DMV license first.
Go back to the DMV, and the person behind the counter tells you "Why are you changing your name? you're a guy!"..

"I don't know how to do that".. "Fill out these forms and we'll let you know".. "You filled out the wrong forms".. "You need to talk to this other agency".. "Why did they tell you to talk to us?".. on and on and on.. took him months and ultimately one of those TV news "on your side" things to get through the whole mess satisfactorily..

[readwrite.livejournal.com]

Women can have problems with this too:

A German friend of mine married her girlfriend. At the time she married, she took her partner's last name. This was all legal in Germany.

However, she had a green card from the U.S. Her position was that the U.S. should simply accept her perfectly legal name change. However, as you might imagine, it was not that simple. She ultimately decided, for other reasons, to give up her green card, but if she hadn't, she would probably have had a lot of bureaucratic complications to deal with.