kyburg: (Default)
[personal profile] kyburg
I never like hearing someone receive a cancer diagnosis. No, it's not always a death sentence - but.

You've just seen someone hand over what might be what's left of their lives to treating it. They just lost their lives in a very real sense - while they are still living. And I can't stop how I feel about that - I hate it.

Nobody gets out of here alive. But those who die from cancer, probably have died a thousand times over before they actually get to leave - loss of job, loss of independence, loss of financial stability, loss of friends...the list is long, unremitting and just what it is.

You survive cancer - you don't beat it. You don't win. I've never understood that whole line of metaphors.

Senator Ted Kennedy has been diagnosed with a particularly nasty variety of the beast.

There are plenty who will point and say really awful things. People in public office have to take that onboard, working in the public eye as they do.

Let's not go where we have to discuss how people ALSO do not get what they deserve. You gets what you get - you gotta make do with whatever it is.

However it goes down - let it be fast. To the good, and you get your life back. To the bad, you don't have to live with your life stolen from you and converted into something hellish indeed. And if you truly believe in an afterlife - what is there to ask about?

I think one of the most lasting angers I have over Cliff's death is the life he had to lead for three years before he finally was allowed to leave. We never worked so hard, and got so little for it. And awful is just a word that barely explains it.

Date: 2008-05-20 10:58 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I wish there was something meaningful I can say, other then yeah. The Big C sucks.
I lost my Grandmother to it when I was a baby and while I never saw first hand how she must of struggled with it, I can see it in my Mom, who lost her own too young...

Date: 2008-05-20 11:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dame-of-dames.livejournal.com
Curses, that was me. Sorry about the anon, didn't realize I wasn't logged in...

Date: 2008-05-20 11:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] odiedragon.livejournal.com
Spmebody needs to hook him up with a Tomo machine... while, granted, a lot of what I've been told has been coated in a layer of Corproate Honey, from what I know it'd be very useful in this case. Very targeted, doing minimal damage to the areas around the tumor. They say it's great for head and neck cases. But, I suppose the doctors know best... and it's not like money is any object when you're on government benefits.

Date: 2008-05-21 01:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bitpig.livejournal.com
Sen. Kennedy is wrong on almost every poliical issue, and he has done things over the years that are reprehensible and dishonorable.

That being said: he is a human being, and a man with children, grandchildren, and others who love him. I wish him the best in his struggle with this horrible disease.

Date: 2008-05-21 10:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moropus.livejournal.com
Cancer is a terrible way to die.

Date: 2008-05-21 11:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] caitlin.livejournal.com
Y'know, I could argue with the tone of your first statement because I could say the same about any NUMBER of politicians, starting with, say, GWB and Ronald Reagan. (yes this means I am taking the name of two presidents name in vain. Wanna make something of it?!)

However, this is neither time nor place.

C.

Date: 2008-05-21 03:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lostboydv.livejournal.com
No one should get cancer. it's awful, at any age. But I have to add, from my embittered point of view having watched my 27-year-old best friend die of leukemia followed by a 36-year-old friend die in a fatal car crash months later: at least he made it to 76 and got to do a lot of what he wanted to do with his life before it happened.

Date: 2008-05-21 06:46 pm (UTC)
ext_20420: (Default)
From: [identity profile] kyburg.livejournal.com
Hang on guys. No need for nasties.

Bruce, thanks for completely ignoring the legitimate request not to go there. Go you.

Point of order - Senator Kennedy is not "wrong on almost every poliical issue, and he has done things over the years that are reprehensible and dishonorable." He's done things you don't agree with. I'll respect you for that stance, but please keep the semantics in mind when you post - I think I know what you meant, but most people would find the assumptions offensive. Words matter - use a few more of them.

And yes, this me giving you the benefit of the doubt. I'm not allowed to judge others, after all. Just love them, as God made them.

Whatever you think of the man, he'll have to answer to the proper authority - which ain't either of us. I wouldn't waste a lot of clock cycles deciding for yourself what that's going to look like. It's not polite or useful. If you think he deserves the worst, take heart - he'll get it here before he leaves. That, I can just about assure you.

He deserves our pity, as privileged a life as he's led. No more, no less.

Date: 2008-05-21 06:49 pm (UTC)
ext_20420: (wonder)
From: [identity profile] kyburg.livejournal.com
I kind of wonder if having so many more good years makes having the shit ones before you leave any easier. Maybe.

All I know, on this side of a really planned 'yeah, this is going to happen if I stick with him' passing - once it was done, the number of good years didn't help much in the middle of the bad ones.

The now was what was - and in the middle of the suck - remembering the good didn't help at all. You wanted more good - and that's what kept you trying, but nothing more.

*sigh*

(How are you, my friend?)

Date: 2008-05-21 06:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] caitlin.livejournal.com
I'm sorry...

Really.

C.

Date: 2008-05-21 08:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] caitlin.livejournal.com
I wonder if my mother considers me having abandoned her...

I mean, a year ago she'd gone in for thyroid cancer surgery...

And I left SoCal in July...

Maybe I'm not the good and dutiful daughter... Maybe I am a horrible person...

I mean, look at what I did to someone who commented on this post before me?

C.

Date: 2008-05-21 09:17 pm (UTC)
ext_20420: (Default)
From: [identity profile] kyburg.livejournal.com
No worries. And happy birthday!

Date: 2008-05-21 09:23 pm (UTC)
ext_20420: (Default)
From: [identity profile] kyburg.livejournal.com
Bah. I'm surprised more people didn't jump in - but I think you did the restrained thing first.

There's more than one kind of abandonment - there's the real, physical kind...and then there's the completely blind to reality conformity to expectations I saw on her part while you were in physical proximity. Living your own life, on your own terms, is never abandonment. Setting reasonable boundaries and watching her fail to recognize or respect them isn't abandonment on your part - it's self-preservation, and in all truth? Reaching your full majority away from being someone's child. She can take pleasure in seeing you independent and able to care for yourself - that's what parenting is supposed to bring. No other relationship in life operates quite that way, you know. Every other relationship grows by bringing people together. In parenting, a normal progression sees it grow apart as the child matures and becomes separate from the parents.

It's not abandonment.

It's normal. And when you can't be friends, it's not abandonment to protect yourself and put some space in the equation.

Date: 2008-05-22 10:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-paulr.livejournal.com
"I'm surprised more people didn't jump in"
I would have, but it wouldn't have done any good. Sometimes I just don't feel like pounding my head against a wall.

As for Ted? Part of me hopes he can beat this, but I know the odds aren't good. My heart really goes out to his family. All politics aside it's never easy when someone you love dies.

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