Status check -

[kyburg]

I won't twit, don't ask me.

Yay Iowa, but they've simply come to the same conclusion the California courts did - stay tuned, watch them throw another Prop 8 on their ballot as soon as possible. I'd make book on it.

Dear Madonna - Malawi does not support international adoption. Quit banging your head on the brick wall, or get some other people to stand willing with you to adopt. It would look much better if you weren't alone in this whole thing, neh? (And I'd rather see someone else try this. You've got three kids already, and divorced. Not prime material, by any yardstick.)

Dear Malawi CW - a child living in an orphanage can NOT be raised by 'relatives' - or zie would be. Remove heads from sand, thank you. Yes, I would like to see them raised within the culture of their own birth too, but the culture they've got is an institution. WTF.

Dear Malawi kids who don't have families - hang in there. The adults are being poo-heads.

My agency doesn't even mention adopting from Malawi, or another other African country. Believe me, if it was possible, they'd be talking about it. They only go where the idea is supported - if the country/culture isn't comfortable with it, no biggie. They're your kids before you let them be our kids, okay?

Daycare transitioning, day three including Jim leaving the center for a few hours. Kid had a meltdown, but when Jim returned, he was playing happily with the other kids and all was well. Next week, I start taking him in before going to work, with Jim following me - but it's unlikely Jim will stay long, and spend less and less time there. Kid liked the fish sticks at lunch yesterday, another thing to put on the list of stuff He Will Eat. (He also scarfed down the onigiri I sent with him as well - most of the other kids had never seen one, so that was a learning experience for them as well.) This morning, he had a bite of my Chocolate Raspberry Luna bar, and liked it. This also has potential.

One thing that has changed since daycare started is that he has stopped taking out the old toys and separating them from the new toys. This is not daycare, this is home - daycare is somewhere else, and all this stuff is mine. God, I hope this is the case.

Last night, kid zonked at 8:00 PM, without any assistance - on the afghan caitlin made, on my lap. WIN. Maybe I had made points with the ice cream after dinner - but after dealing with a couple of boo-boos successfully and rescuing him from the clutches of Dad after bath, we seem to be getting on okay after having me gone all day. (That additional time with Jim at home really shows in their relationship - they are good, tight buds.)

This morning, he woke up smiling and calling for me - and we had a good morning visit before I headed off to work.

I also have a very photo-shy kid - so getting pictures is really going to be a hit or miss proposition.

We all have snuffly noses right now. Oh well.

I hope to hear from Jim that they're both going to get seen today at Kaiser - Jim for his nose, Xander for his sonogram/first visit with pediatrician.

Your day, already in progress.

Comments

[caitlin.livejournal.com]

From my understanding, Iowa's constitution does not function the same way California's does.

Also from my understanding, it requires 2 consecutive terms of the IA Leg. to consider it before making ballot. This session has already said "nuh-uh. no way. we have more important things to consider".

Also? No crazy ballot initiative process out this way, otherwise we'd be going through the same shit (yes, I said it) that plagues California's elections. We don't. (I say "we" because I am currently an IA res, y'know?)

[gretchen-marie.livejournal.com]

Your understanding is right. The Legislature is not going to touch this, at least not this session... they're too busy trying to keep the state from folding under the weight of the recession/flood/tornado crises.

Which is not to say that it won't come up again, because I'm sure it will... but oh. my. gawd. I read the whole decision and I am SO impressed.

[caitlin.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm sure it will too, but from what it sounds like kyburg thinks, she thinks they will throw something like Prop 8 on the ballot.

Something like Prop 8 would never fly here (at least from what I understand) seeing as there is no "ballot initiative" process here as it is in California. (the process drove me crazy near the end...)

And from what I read of what you posted, the IA Supreme Court pretty much said: It's okay for religious orgs not to support it but the institution of civil marriage is open to everyone.

What I do not understand are the arguments that say that this will "erode the institution of marriage". Umm... what about the people who are married for like 55 hours, or have married and divorced so many times that they have enough surnames to make up their own phone book. *facepalm* How is THAT not eroding the so-called "sanctity of marriage"...

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

You got me.

I'd like to be really, REALLY wrong on this one. But so far, nowhere in the country have I been.

It's a hobby for some people - and a sad one - to bury this stuff as fast as it shows up. (That's a nice way to put it, isn't it?)

[caitlin.livejournal.com]

for something like this to go onto the ballot, it requires the state legislature to consider it for 2 sessions consecutive.

This session has already come out with a "we are NOT going to touch this. We have MUCH more important stuff to consider." http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20090403/NEWS/90403010/1001

Which means 2014(?) at the earliest... (gretchen_marie, correct me if I'm wrong on this one)

It may still happen, given the stupidity at which some people act, but are people really willing to take away rights which will have existed for years by that point with nothing bad happening (see Canada, MA, etc.)

[gretchen-marie.livejournal.com]

You're right, and like you said... who's going to act to take away rights that have existed for years by then? Particularly if there have been no adverse effects to the underpinnings of society *eyeroll*

I am full of SO MUCH SQUEE over this, you can't even imagine.

[lordindra.livejournal.com]

My favorite article on gay marriage touches on your last point, albeit briefly.

It's rather crude, and probably not work safe.

My favorite line from it-
"It's like going out and saying you oppose blue socks. You can't see em anyway, so who the fuck cares?"

http://www.ehowa.com/mythoughts/gaymarriage.shtml

Oh yeah...

[gretchen-marie.livejournal.com]

Reading the decision just made me go "huh? They seriously tried to use THAT as an argument against tossing out 595.2?!"

What I LOVED is that, in the decision, they make the point that if people are going to say "it's for the good of the children!" then they need to look at excluding sex offenders, violent predators, people who don't support their children, etc from the class of people who are prohibited from marrying... because, after all, marriage is all about procreation.

GAWD. There is so much wrong in the county's case, I can't even begin to touch it. But the Court definitely addressed every avenue I can think of that might have been used by opponents. Which is why I'm just in awe :)

[gretchen-marie.livejournal.com]

I think we have a better chance than most people realize at keeping this one going; Iowa is a much more progressive state than people realize. One of the leaders in the nation with regards to victims' rights, the first to determine that no one could call a person "property," etc.

I'm really, really happy, and also hopeful.

[caitlin.livejournal.com]

Also... in regards to the afghan... terredancer made it.

I just financed the yarn. ;)

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Ah, thanks to her then!

[lordindra.livejournal.com]

Connecticut dodged a near prop-8 situation this last election.

Supreme Court strikes down the gay marriage ban. Which honestly seemed like a waste of the courts time to me. Our civil unions were defined as giving all the rights and responsibilities of marriage- all this case really amounted to was the words used to describe the relationship on legal documents. Of course, I'm an advocate of terming even heterosexual marriages "civil unions" and leave it to society at large to define "marriage", so that probably biases my opinion on that.

And we're up for our constitutionally mandated referendum on whether or not to call a constitutional convention. This could have been much worse than Prop 8... this is basically saying "Lets throw out our constitution and write a new one".

This really excited some on the far right, and they started pushing people to vote yes, and then...

They got smacked down in the polls. Referendum defeated.

[sal_amanda]

I've been watching the Madonna thing with great interest. I see the point in not letting her dodge their rules, but their rules clearly eliminate the possibility of international adoption, thus keeping kids institutionalized. That's not a good solution.

I do know that it's possible to adopt from Ethiopia as I have conducted a home study for it. They allow single women to adopt and the visitation requirement is only for one week at the time of placement. Interestingly enough, this woman I did the home study for then discovered that since she was already open to race, it would be just as easy to adopt domestically. So instead of spending a week in Ethiopia, she spent a week in Florida.

[paperwings86.livejournal.com]

And I'd rather see someone else try this. You've got three kids already, and divorced. Not prime material, by any yardstick Weren't you the one that was all 'don't judge Nayda Suleman'? At least Madonna has the money for it.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Money can't grow you another pair of hands, more brain cells or give you more time.

It also can't compensate for emotional instability - if you're going to do this, you're going to have to be emotionally and physically available, and that's the criteria people use to decide whether or not you can take on another kid in adoption.

There's a big difference between Suleman and Madonna - biology does that.

[paperwings86.livejournal.com]

Of course Money can't grow you more hands, but it can give you more time. Not having to work for example. Being able to hire good help if you chose to work. Goodness knows I've worked as a nanny for some very good mothers who were even better mothers because they worked.

Three children really isn't a big deal. Most people can handle the availably required for them, and we have no reason to not believe Madonna is one of those folks. 14 children on the other hand… how does one even go food shopping? The Peds? Get new shoes?

I still don't see the difference though, Suleman CHOSE to have those babies (over and over again), as does, frankly everyone who gets pregnant and goes to term, but particularly someone who goes through 10,000 IVF treatments. Madonna is choosing to try to adopt. Seems like they are using an equal amount of choice when it comes to family size. How can you possibly criticize Madonna but defend to the teeth Nayda? I just don't get it.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

I think the biggest beef I have with Madonna's efforts here is that they are flying smack in the face of a resounding NO GO AWAY from the people who make the decisions on who can adopt their kids.

Last thing this lady is, is a saint, neh? She's also not married. And her celebrity is just NOT helping.

I'd love to see something good come out of this - problem is, she's just not the right person at this time. I'd like to see her pick her battles a bit more carefully.

As for someone who simply has had more children than anyone could reasonably assume care for? (Suleman) I'm sure as I'm standing here that DCFS is already on the case, and watching very carefully. You can't tell people to have/not to have kids - the biology decides in this case if you decide to go through with it, and nobody has got a thing to say about it. (You adopt, everyone has a right to say whatever they like. Have your own, they can mutter behind your back, but that's about it. Until DCFS gets called, of course.)

I'm not saying that's fair, mind you. I am saying that's reality.

[ms-hecubus.livejournal.com]

The meltdowns are hard and make you feel guilty, but it totally normal. There are still days Delia acts like I'm selling her to gypsies when I hand her over to her grandparents. And she's been visiting them weekly for the past year.