In other news -

[kyburg]

It's one thing to tell the kid 'we're so glad you're here' and another thing to see it register - at LAST.

People tell me the whole concept of "I love you" isn't common in Xander's culture of origin - people don't say it, it's always implied and maybe not even then. I don't buy it all - exactly - but it would explain a lot, if it were so.

Xander started saying "Mommy, I missed you" on a regular basis as part of his greeting. I'm returning that, with a "I missed you too. I love you soooo much!" with the big hug on getting home.

Daddy may wrassle, but Mommy zerberts him behind the ears.

It's almost as if we're all taking a deep breath and releasing it. At last.

Had someone call asking for help this week - and I had to turn them away. Years past, I might have been able to do something. Not this time. I don't have the 'lack of kids' status anymore.

Not stopping me from plotting Christmas gifts, though.

And it's pretty much a foregone conclusion - I'm dropping the PPO insurance next year and sticking with Kaiser for everything. I did the cost/benefit for this year and there's no way I would spend $12-13,000 for the amount of care I needed this year. I'm going to talk to all of my care providers and let them know and negotiate my own rates - I know the insurance company does it, why can't I? God knows Mom did it that way.

That'll allow some cush back in the budget and probably allow some Chinese school if Xander is ready for it. Come ON January! (I'll also be able to start saving for retirement again.)

Comments

[monkeyfruit.livejournal.com]

There's a chance his parents or prev. foster parents called him 'pau pei' :) Have you tried?

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Not to my knowledge - keep in mind, my endearments in Mandarin are limited to wo ai ni. What's the context?

[monkeyfruit.livejournal.com]

I'm as good as illiterate when it comes to Mandarin, but the characters are 寶貝 (modern: 宝贝), and here is a little explanation: http://www.childbook.com/Bao-Bei-Coloring-Pages-s/394.htm

Chinese parents often say to their young children: "You are my bǎobèi", or "You are Daddy/Mummy's bǎobèi." If you're looking for the Chinese parents' equivalent of "I love you" or "You are my darling", that's it :) Sometimes it sticks around for a bit as a nickname, particularly when referring to an only child or a younger child.

There also used to be 'xiao huang di' which means 'little emperor' (probably gave its name to the Little Emperor Syndrome), but nowadays I only hear it when people are making a light-hearted jibe about how spoiled a child (sometimes a teenager) is.

Note: I originally spelled 'baobei' how Southeast Asian Chinese pronounce it (ie. lazy), sorry!

[monkeyfruit.livejournal.com]

Oh, one more thing which might interest you: I've never heard 'Wo ai ni' used between parent and child, only between lovers. But, relatives and family friends of the child might often affectionately remind him/her: 'Ni de mama/papa hen ai ni' - 'Your Mummy/Daddy really loves you.'