Now, where did that come from -

[kyburg]

Drive in this morning, I had a sulky, didn't want to get up and do stuff kid - which is dead normal. We don't always like getting up and out of bed either. *shrug*

But I got a call for 'MOMMY!' this AM (most of the time, it's Daddy who gets paged) and fresh off of reading FEED, I hit the floor with both feet but remembered Real Life before I hit his room. (But my heart is pounding nonetheless.) Kid gets a snuggle before being woken up to get dressed, yadda ya.

This is before the alarm went off, you understand.

On the way to school, we're listening to Phinneas & Ferb's soundtrack and I have to turn it down to hear a question - what?

"I don't want to go to Taiwan."

*blink* "Honey, we're not going to Taiwan. I'd *like* to go back there, but we won't be right now."

Huh?

"What's in Taiwan?"

"Oh, lots of things," I answer. "Lots and lots of people, cities..."

"Babies?"

hooookay "Yes! Just like here - "

"And my big brother. His name is Kon (sp?)."

"Oh, that's right. Your foster family had an older sister, too - right?"

"Yeah."

That was enough for him and he went off to other subjects. But that was completely out of the blue, and I've mentioned his good memory? Right.

*sighs* I need to hit the subject matter again with him, while he's got it on his mind. Even if we did go to Taiwan again, he's staying with us for good and always - I kinda sorta think that might need a bit of reinforcement.

The kids don't forget, guys. And to them, if it happened once - it can happen again. Just in this case? Not so much.

Comments

[caitlin.livejournal.com]

It's not just the adopted kids that don't forget.

Abandonment is something that comes up a lot...

[sekl.livejournal.com]

You're an awesome Mom for dealing with it and letting him piece his world together. It would be so much worse having someone tell him all these memories were flights of fancy.

[sal_amanda]

We just took an online class in our adoption process about communication and being aware of how random these kinds of things can come up, no matter the age. The key is knowing what the real meaning is behind the question and addressing appropriately, which I think you have a handle on.

[unclejimbo.livejournal.com]

I'll be sure to give him an extra snuggle when I pick him up tonight.

[ginamariewade.livejournal.com]

My mom doesn't believe that I remember this, but I remember going to get my brother. I was about 2 1/2 at the time. I remember looking out the motel room at a playground in the rain.

I'm glad that you accept his memories and are recording them here, because he might forget, and when he's older, he might want them back.

My mom is my mom and my history is my history, and I don't think I should have to choose. I'm almost 43 years old and I'm still fighting this battle with my 72 year old mother.

I'm glad that you know that it's not a contest.

[murphymom.livejournal.com]

I was somewhat older(about 4), but I remember going with my parents to get *my* brother, as well- AND I remember one trip to the adoption agency *before* that, during the preliminary process. We should "talk" sometime about my very clear memories of both those trips.

[murphymom.livejournal.com]

As I noted above, I have some very clear memories from perhaps 3 yrs old and also from 4 years old - so Xander's memory doesn't surprise me. For what it's worth, I think you handled things just right by validating without trying to "fix" anything. You'll know when to give him more.