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Date: 2011-07-26 07:27 pm (UTC)Adoption and special needs fall into different categories, but in this, I can tell you from experience the kid is picking up on being perceived as a problem and doesn't like it. Any chance of a different school? It will ease your anger and help his fear if you can find a place that accepts him instead of treating him like a problem.
As for respite, can you find another mom in equally sucky circumstances? I trade off with someone whose husband is in regularly on business in China or call a sitter. Three hours to yourself is dearly bought or expensive, but it helps you avoid the Darth Vader parenting methods.