And just like that -
Mar. 29th, 2012 02:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kyburg Sis calls me - remember, I can't call her, but she can certainly call me in the middle of the day and make me drop everything - and advises me that she is off Mom's POA as primary for health care. She'd be off the financials too, except legal counsel has advised her it's too hard, unwise if she wants to resume her post in six months and so on.
A crisis that lasts until the beginning of the next school year? Total radio silence? People are also posting some weird stuff to FaceBook over there too. Have been for some time - daydreams about running off to Europe for fifteen months, lalala (and that was Sis doing that one). BIL, kids...even stranger, more out of character.
This is the part where I start wondering what IS going on over there. But I am a Good Sibling, I respect boundaries (particularly when they've been so clearly spelled out) and until this becomes an itch I can't help but scratch...I'm staying out of it.
But the whole thing makes me itch. Wish I lived next door. I'd borrow a buttload of sugar, mind you - one cup at a time.
Called Lil' Bro and Mom - largely to reassure them that they can call me in the middle of the night if they need me, yes I will take on the doctor appointments, no problem...and apologized for not being the licensed social worker. I am experienced, I'm not bad - but.
Mom cut me off. "Don't hit yourself in the face." And then she started crying.
That's one.
Jim's taken on being an observer/alternate for collective bargaining for the union this year - it's been quite the experience, he's just glowing with the strokes, the perks and the attention. Problem is, it's also eating up a lot of time beyond the normal workweek. This week alone, there are three days I've had to cut my day short to cover getting kid home before aftercare closes (he normally covers that one, I take him in) and then not getting home until late, late, late.
This little boy does NOT do well with lack of Dad. Yesterday, we got a incident report - kid playing around in the bathroom, slipped and clocked himself in the head...and then threw sand at someone and The Parents Got Called.
Well, they did. I'm taking off work again tomorrow to take in the parent-teacher conference - it's being done early, we need to talk about some behavioral issues.
My kid is teasing the other kids - and he's been extremely mean. *sigh* Well, he's angry enough to displace some of it on other people, not knowing he's doing it. He's very angry right now. There hasn't been a lot of downtime due to everyone working late, dealing with crap and so on - we haven't been home every night, there's been a lot of dinner out of the house, so less television time...not a lot of fun going on for anyone.
It's also adoption anniversary time. While he might not externalize it, he certainly appears to feel it. We've seen unattached anger every year, same time every year.
So, I've got a kid being extraordinarily mean to other kids right now. Well, he learned from the best at the old school. Crapcakes.
That's two.
I finally blew my cork at religious social club last night - Sunday School is a joke, it's me pulling my kid out of church to give a lesson every single Sunday and I'm ready to close the whole thing down as CE Coordinator because?
I'm not that good at it, I'm getting nothing to assist - and frankly? I wouldn't invite anyone with kids right now. That's one step short of resigning, and throwing the whole thing out.
This *was* a great experience. I got more to do, hopefully something that will help - but. I got more work to do. (It's perfectly okay for me to completely restock the classrooms and get them ready to use again, after the emergency rehab when the plumbing flooded the place - but get any assistance to actually teach classes? *grumble*)
That's three.
I'm having my memory banks *yanked* hard - and trying to be useful instead of whiny. There are more posts to do about the years between 1992 and 1998 - but![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
popfiend needs what I got, so I'm being as good as I can.
He's not the only one.
I'm having a hard time playing Angel of Death again, so please. This is not your experience, I don't want it to be your experience (on top of your own? Please.) and there's plenty of horrendous on the periphery as it is.
Shit happens now, there's nobody left.
That's four.
My idea of 'busy' and yours? Not your fault.
A crisis that lasts until the beginning of the next school year? Total radio silence? People are also posting some weird stuff to FaceBook over there too. Have been for some time - daydreams about running off to Europe for fifteen months, lalala (and that was Sis doing that one). BIL, kids...even stranger, more out of character.
This is the part where I start wondering what IS going on over there. But I am a Good Sibling, I respect boundaries (particularly when they've been so clearly spelled out) and until this becomes an itch I can't help but scratch...I'm staying out of it.
But the whole thing makes me itch. Wish I lived next door. I'd borrow a buttload of sugar, mind you - one cup at a time.
Called Lil' Bro and Mom - largely to reassure them that they can call me in the middle of the night if they need me, yes I will take on the doctor appointments, no problem...and apologized for not being the licensed social worker. I am experienced, I'm not bad - but.
Mom cut me off. "Don't hit yourself in the face." And then she started crying.
That's one.
Jim's taken on being an observer/alternate for collective bargaining for the union this year - it's been quite the experience, he's just glowing with the strokes, the perks and the attention. Problem is, it's also eating up a lot of time beyond the normal workweek. This week alone, there are three days I've had to cut my day short to cover getting kid home before aftercare closes (he normally covers that one, I take him in) and then not getting home until late, late, late.
This little boy does NOT do well with lack of Dad. Yesterday, we got a incident report - kid playing around in the bathroom, slipped and clocked himself in the head...and then threw sand at someone and The Parents Got Called.
Well, they did. I'm taking off work again tomorrow to take in the parent-teacher conference - it's being done early, we need to talk about some behavioral issues.
My kid is teasing the other kids - and he's been extremely mean. *sigh* Well, he's angry enough to displace some of it on other people, not knowing he's doing it. He's very angry right now. There hasn't been a lot of downtime due to everyone working late, dealing with crap and so on - we haven't been home every night, there's been a lot of dinner out of the house, so less television time...not a lot of fun going on for anyone.
It's also adoption anniversary time. While he might not externalize it, he certainly appears to feel it. We've seen unattached anger every year, same time every year.
So, I've got a kid being extraordinarily mean to other kids right now. Well, he learned from the best at the old school. Crapcakes.
That's two.
I finally blew my cork at religious social club last night - Sunday School is a joke, it's me pulling my kid out of church to give a lesson every single Sunday and I'm ready to close the whole thing down as CE Coordinator because?
I'm not that good at it, I'm getting nothing to assist - and frankly? I wouldn't invite anyone with kids right now. That's one step short of resigning, and throwing the whole thing out.
This *was* a great experience. I got more to do, hopefully something that will help - but. I got more work to do. (It's perfectly okay for me to completely restock the classrooms and get them ready to use again, after the emergency rehab when the plumbing flooded the place - but get any assistance to actually teach classes? *grumble*)
That's three.
I'm having my memory banks *yanked* hard - and trying to be useful instead of whiny. There are more posts to do about the years between 1992 and 1998 - but
popfiend needs what I got, so I'm being as good as I can.He's not the only one.
I'm having a hard time playing Angel of Death again, so please. This is not your experience, I don't want it to be your experience (on top of your own? Please.) and there's plenty of horrendous on the periphery as it is.
Shit happens now, there's nobody left.
That's four.
My idea of 'busy' and yours? Not your fault.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2012-03-29 10:40 pm (UTC)Hopefully your Jim will be able to spot you out a bit and help get Xander back on his routine.
no subject
Date: 2012-03-29 11:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-29 11:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-30 12:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-02 02:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-30 12:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-02 02:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-02 08:30 pm (UTC)Back from the funeral of a friend's dad today. There was an open casket. I almost lost it. It's a good thing she had me running errands for the reception following.
no subject
Date: 2012-04-04 09:57 pm (UTC)Uh, I would never do that with a live person. How to turn someone into furniture, that's how.
Just for the record? Don't, if it's me. If even I leave this place looking like Greta Garbo. Mean it.
no subject
Date: 2012-04-04 11:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-02 02:00 pm (UTC)I'm not going to tell you "I'm good" because that's bullsh*t. But I am doing the best I can to do the best I can in a situation that completely and totally sucks and has wreaked havoc in my life. I'm coping. And that's something. But I don't need you to change to do do that, the heavy lifting is all on this end.
But thank you.
<3
no subject
Date: 2012-04-02 02:46 pm (UTC)You know what I really can't stand? People who use little words like 'hard' to describe this place. Really? There isn't enough WORD in there to cover what this is. Pssht. Honestly.
You are doing awesome. Me? I walked into the marriage knowing I'd be where you are today. Yes, it was worth it. Yours is definitely the harder road - and that's a fact.
I went out looking for support groups after Cliff passed - my reward was ending up the moderator for one for nearly ten years.
Change? *blows air* I'm in that wonderful sandwich place right now - you're not seeing much of the rest of it, because the other pieces are not seeing as much sudden change as your story has. There are at least three other stories going on like this right now in my background - and likely, because of my age - that number will increase, not decrease as time goes on. I would like to - I dunno - forget more easily than I remember, once in a while, yanno?
I'm also surrounded by diabetics - still. And people who smoke. You want two things that will steal loved ones away from you, guaranteed - there you go.
Don't stop talking about it. And don't think for a moment that you're doing anything wrong. There is no wrong here.
You're welcome. I look at this way - how I got this knowledge was paid for in dearest blood and tears. I may not like it, but I would hate myself more if I didn't put it to the use for which it was intended. Try to make it easier - better? Not happening - for the next guy who has to go down this road.
I'm the lucky one, after all. I'm the one who lived.
And you are the best - accept no substitutes. :)
no subject
Date: 2012-04-02 03:11 pm (UTC)“We who choose to surround ourselves
with lives even more temporary than our
own, live within a fragile circle;
easily and often breached.
Unable to accept its awful gaps,
we would still live no other way.
We cherish memory as the only
certain immortality, never fully
understanding the necessary plan.”
― Irving Townsend
Some days, it's okay. Some days, you only see the loss and curse it.