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kyburgPardon me, but the confusion is getting to me.
Somehow, I don't think I need to have my suspicions confirmed. I'm almost certain Sis spoke to at least one or two of the friends she depends on when she needs help with kid coverage. She's done it before when one of the kids had an MRI and I found out about it when taking a shoe order from one of them. From the friend. An MRI of the kid's head. Yup. While we were talking about shoes.
That was special.
She has two sets of friends. Should something happen to her and her husband, one set gets financial custody of her kids, the other pair gets physical custody.
I'm cool with that. They're nice, and I was married to a psycho.
Does it matter one way or the other if they were told and I got lost in the shuffle again? Oh, that word - again. Oops. No, I don't get lost in the shuffle. Oh, no. Never.
Then why is it that I always cross-check schedules when I deal with them, and if I find a discrepancy, I follow it up?
I've been late, delayed and fried over an open fire when I've screwed up. That's still okay - I know these things exist and if I don't play *exactly* to code, I can be fined for it. So be it.
Since I went over to her house to drop off costumes, I haven't spoken to anyone but her husband. Once, I think. I've left a couple of voicemails, but I don't think I've been hopping up and down demanding anything. At least, I don't think so. I know I've consciously been pulling myself back and away from them as much as I can. That takes some effort - Sis has been my primary family contact lately, second only to Mom.
Who I checked in with earlier this week. I do that. If I don't hear from her within a week or so, I'll call and check in. Since she had that heart attack over a year ago, it just seems to make sense to keep in touch.
She's in to look after the kids for Thursday and Friday. Sis and hubby are going to be in Palm Springs. This sounds good. Two days of blissful together time that they haven't had in eons. All good. Really good. I take a deep breath and sigh it out with relief.
But that's all I know.
Note that most of the words are mine. 10 words are all the concrete information given, the rest conjecture.
I get spam from hubby on Thursday. He's at work. *huh?*
So I send back a quick "I thought you were in Palm Springs."
So he responds ..*thinks about a direct paste*.. *if I paraphrase, I might get it wrong or imply something not there*
Okay, direct paste:
I am, but I am at a business recovery exercise. We still work. Diane is
resting. I will see her after 5. Bye....
I'm not asking what he's doing, when he's going to do it or where he's going to be - or am I?
*very confused*
Why was this even an issue? Because Mom is planning to come see me when she comes home Saturday - I'm on the way to her house from Sis'.
So if he's not in Palm Springs, I might have to check with Mom to see if she's still coming over Saturday.
Somehow, I don't think that's what he thought.
I told Sis I'd be there at the hospital when she was in surgery. She said not to bother. I didn't. I went to work and waited until 3:00 to go to lunch so that someone could reach me easily to give results. I got hungry, impatient and called the hospital for a status myself. I didn't ask to talk to the nurse caring for her - that was the switchboard operator/hospital/GTW's decision.
I found out she was in recovery, fine and I went and got food. But I'm pushy.
Slowly, but surely, I've stopped mentioning any reference to the personal experiences I have relating to eye surgeries.
I don't even leave voicemail when I do call.
After that email exchange, I can see I'm dealing with something much nastier. There is a Perception going on.
I want to know their business. I want to meddle. I want to micro-manage.
I've got the time or the inclination to run Sis's life - particularly when she is so well prepared to do it herself. Sheesh.
Give me a break.
I'd like fair and equal access, thank you. But maybe I'm putting too much value on what I perceived to be her interest in me.
When things are bad with me, she's there. Always. With good advice, good ideas and plenty of support. I'm at her house when something bad has happened.
*thinks* I was at her house the night Cliff died. I called her from the hospital and she told me to come to her. I was wearing one of her nightshirts, sleeping in the office sofa bed.
I
don't
get
it
I objected to being un-depended on? "You didn't call me." That's all I said. I expressed myself to Mom, who then filtered to Sis, I'm sure. I was shocked, I was hurt...and angry.
Funny how they only see the anger. And that's what sticking.
If they don't give me what I want, I'll throw a fit.
No...that's not it.
There are things I need to do what I need to do. Can I leave my desk now? Should I check my plans with Mom as they depend on where you are?
No, I'm just a nuisance.
Well, I can see there is only one thing left to try.
Nothing.
Do nothing. Say nothing.
Wait for a phone call, but don't initiate a conversation.
Lame.
Yeah, I want anything to do with this. Fucking tar baby.
*sighs* I was so hoping we were beyond this.
Somehow, I don't think I need to have my suspicions confirmed. I'm almost certain Sis spoke to at least one or two of the friends she depends on when she needs help with kid coverage. She's done it before when one of the kids had an MRI and I found out about it when taking a shoe order from one of them. From the friend. An MRI of the kid's head. Yup. While we were talking about shoes.
That was special.
She has two sets of friends. Should something happen to her and her husband, one set gets financial custody of her kids, the other pair gets physical custody.
I'm cool with that. They're nice, and I was married to a psycho.
Does it matter one way or the other if they were told and I got lost in the shuffle again? Oh, that word - again. Oops. No, I don't get lost in the shuffle. Oh, no. Never.
Then why is it that I always cross-check schedules when I deal with them, and if I find a discrepancy, I follow it up?
I've been late, delayed and fried over an open fire when I've screwed up. That's still okay - I know these things exist and if I don't play *exactly* to code, I can be fined for it. So be it.
Since I went over to her house to drop off costumes, I haven't spoken to anyone but her husband. Once, I think. I've left a couple of voicemails, but I don't think I've been hopping up and down demanding anything. At least, I don't think so. I know I've consciously been pulling myself back and away from them as much as I can. That takes some effort - Sis has been my primary family contact lately, second only to Mom.
Who I checked in with earlier this week. I do that. If I don't hear from her within a week or so, I'll call and check in. Since she had that heart attack over a year ago, it just seems to make sense to keep in touch.
She's in to look after the kids for Thursday and Friday. Sis and hubby are going to be in Palm Springs. This sounds good. Two days of blissful together time that they haven't had in eons. All good. Really good. I take a deep breath and sigh it out with relief.
But that's all I know.
Note that most of the words are mine. 10 words are all the concrete information given, the rest conjecture.
I get spam from hubby on Thursday. He's at work. *huh?*
So I send back a quick "I thought you were in Palm Springs."
So he responds ..*thinks about a direct paste*.. *if I paraphrase, I might get it wrong or imply something not there*
Okay, direct paste:
I am, but I am at a business recovery exercise. We still work. Diane is
resting. I will see her after 5. Bye....
I'm not asking what he's doing, when he's going to do it or where he's going to be - or am I?
*very confused*
Why was this even an issue? Because Mom is planning to come see me when she comes home Saturday - I'm on the way to her house from Sis'.
So if he's not in Palm Springs, I might have to check with Mom to see if she's still coming over Saturday.
Somehow, I don't think that's what he thought.
I told Sis I'd be there at the hospital when she was in surgery. She said not to bother. I didn't. I went to work and waited until 3:00 to go to lunch so that someone could reach me easily to give results. I got hungry, impatient and called the hospital for a status myself. I didn't ask to talk to the nurse caring for her - that was the switchboard operator/hospital/GTW's decision.
I found out she was in recovery, fine and I went and got food. But I'm pushy.
Slowly, but surely, I've stopped mentioning any reference to the personal experiences I have relating to eye surgeries.
I don't even leave voicemail when I do call.
After that email exchange, I can see I'm dealing with something much nastier. There is a Perception going on.
I want to know their business. I want to meddle. I want to micro-manage.
I've got the time or the inclination to run Sis's life - particularly when she is so well prepared to do it herself. Sheesh.
Give me a break.
I'd like fair and equal access, thank you. But maybe I'm putting too much value on what I perceived to be her interest in me.
When things are bad with me, she's there. Always. With good advice, good ideas and plenty of support. I'm at her house when something bad has happened.
*thinks* I was at her house the night Cliff died. I called her from the hospital and she told me to come to her. I was wearing one of her nightshirts, sleeping in the office sofa bed.
I
don't
get
it
I objected to being un-depended on? "You didn't call me." That's all I said. I expressed myself to Mom, who then filtered to Sis, I'm sure. I was shocked, I was hurt...and angry.
Funny how they only see the anger. And that's what sticking.
If they don't give me what I want, I'll throw a fit.
No...that's not it.
There are things I need to do what I need to do. Can I leave my desk now? Should I check my plans with Mom as they depend on where you are?
No, I'm just a nuisance.
Well, I can see there is only one thing left to try.
Nothing.
Do nothing. Say nothing.
Wait for a phone call, but don't initiate a conversation.
Lame.
Yeah, I want anything to do with this. Fucking tar baby.
*sighs* I was so hoping we were beyond this.
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*perk*
Date: 2002-05-28 12:38 pm (UTC)Someone must have crossed paths with you at Baycon for you to get that little gem --
If you have a clue where to forward some of the infamous J.H.'s belongings, I still have them.
Bemused, yes. Cynical, oh hell yes.
But grateful unto death for what she did for Cliff...and me. And wary beyond memory for the same reason.
^^