Certified - DONE

Ye Gods.

I do not belong in these classes anymore. I scare the shit out of everyone.

How do you handle diabetic crises? How do you handle someone having a seizure? How do you recognize a heart attack? A stroke? Someone who has stopped breathing?

I resist the urge to pipe up - "How about a diabetic having seizures who has stopped breathing?"

*facepalms* I'm so bad. I'm so good at EMT humor, I make the instructors giggle while the class looks at us like we eat babies in green chilli sauce in our spare time.

*Starting practice on infant CPR with mannequins*

Jim hands me the dummy. "Oh dear, how DARE you? You're giving me a dead baby!"

Jim blinks those beautiful, huge blue eyes at me in shock innocence. "But...it's only a little stiff!"

It's worked like clockwork for two first aid classes now. After 9/11, it got more laughs. Now, the shocked stares almost set me off into snorts today.

I got 100% on my test. Jim missed one. So there.

I think I should just chuck it and get the EMT rating. I may never make a living with it, but enough already. Can you imagine me teaching? Don't answer that.

I had half a mini cinnabon this morning. Lunch, foundered on japanese hibachi chow in the food court. Dinner is up in the air. I actually left myself some yogurt at home so a decent snack was possible - *pats self on back.*

And the day, is over. Tomorrow, I face my family. wahwahwaaah.

Certified - DONE

Ye Gods.

I do not belong in these classes anymore. I scare the shit out of everyone.

How do you handle diabetic crises? How do you handle someone having a seizure? How do you recognize a heart attack? A stroke? Someone who has stopped breathing?

I resist the urge to pipe up - "How about a diabetic having seizures who has stopped breathing?"

*facepalms* I'm so bad. I'm so good at EMT humor, I make the instructors giggle while the class looks at us like we eat babies in green chilli sauce in our spare time.

*Starting practice on infant CPR with mannequins*

Jim hands me the dummy. "Oh dear, how DARE you? You're giving me a dead baby!"

Jim blinks those beautiful, huge blue eyes at me in shock innocence. "But...it's only a little stiff!"

It's worked like clockwork for two first aid classes now. After 9/11, it got more laughs. Now, the shocked stares almost set me off into snorts today.

I got 100% on my test. Jim missed one. So there.

I think I should just chuck it and get the EMT rating. I may never make a living with it, but enough already. Can you imagine me teaching? Don't answer that.

I had half a mini cinnabon this morning. Lunch, foundered on japanese hibachi chow in the food court. Dinner is up in the air. I actually left myself some yogurt at home so a decent snack was possible - *pats self on back.*

And the day, is over. Tomorrow, I face my family. wahwahwaaah.

Certified - DONE

Ye Gods.

I do not belong in these classes anymore. I scare the shit out of everyone.

How do you handle diabetic crises? How do you handle someone having a seizure? How do you recognize a heart attack? A stroke? Someone who has stopped breathing?

I resist the urge to pipe up - "How about a diabetic having seizures who has stopped breathing?"

*facepalms* I'm so bad. I'm so good at EMT humor, I make the instructors giggle while the class looks at us like we eat babies in green chilli sauce in our spare time.

*Starting practice on infant CPR with mannequins*

Jim hands me the dummy. "Oh dear, how DARE you? You're giving me a dead baby!"

Jim blinks those beautiful, huge blue eyes at me in shock innocence. "But...it's only a little stiff!"

It's worked like clockwork for two first aid classes now. After 9/11, it got more laughs. Now, the shocked stares almost set me off into snorts today.

I got 100% on my test. Jim missed one. So there.

I think I should just chuck it and get the EMT rating. I may never make a living with it, but enough already. Can you imagine me teaching? Don't answer that.

I had half a mini cinnabon this morning. Lunch, foundered on japanese hibachi chow in the food court. Dinner is up in the air. I actually left myself some yogurt at home so a decent snack was possible - *pats self on back.*

And the day, is over. Tomorrow, I face my family. wahwahwaaah.