![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Getting the hang of Thursdays.
May. 21st, 2009 09:58 amI am very grateful my job is less demanding than parenting. Yes, it is. And when things blow up on the job with me, the whole company can come to a grinding halt - that's the level I can be at.
And it is less demanding - than one 3 year old - on a daily basis.
So when I hear about 'I can't work and have kids at the same time' - there's a disconnect. Don't worry, it's only me. Mom worked full time at night, slept while we were at school - and she had four of us. To me, having someone who only ran after us and did nothing more doesn't register. That only happened on weekends, holidays and when we were sick. (Even when Dad was alive, Mom was at the pharmacy helping out. I always had working parents. Guess where the ethic came from.)
For Xander, preschool-style daycare has been an incredible boon as well. There is no way we could have provided the amount of peer-exposure, educational opportunies, food choices (and opportunies to experiement with new ones) - you name it.
And this week, in particular - the English really has been kicking in. I would say he now attempts 99% of the words we tell him, and even better - comprehension is coming with it.
Last night, trying to settle him down for the night - he started in with the jazz hands and kicky feet...and I did my normal patter (while gently reinforcing the limbs to be quiet and at rest) of 'time for sleeping, there's nothing else going on here except that I won't let you stay awake...night-night, relax and go to sleep now' - looked up at him to get a status on how awake he still was - only to get a nod in response. Holy cow. And the fidgets stopped. That did not mean he closed his eyes and nodded off - it still was a quick trip in the car - but progress! I can now tell him it's time for bed...and WHY. I see a time in the near future when we won't have to put him down asleep - he will be able to be told what is expected of bedtime (ie, the bed is for sleeping in, and you stay there all night), instead of us putting him there unconscious.
Talking with my mother is fun. I tell her what this is like and she thinks I've got it tough. No Mom, I can't tell him to stay in bed, he doesn't know what I'm saying - that's why we put him down asleep. No, we weren't given his bedtime routine, we had to figure it out after we picked him up from the first night on. (About the only thing we got was when he normally slept. Which has also been bogus.)
He is also very clear on what 'not okay' is all about. Progress!
This is also the week we started doing two things - a new bedtime routine that includes one episode of television, two books and then bedtime. So far, it's resulted in two THUDs and the one drive-induced THUD last night. Also, we're actively looking for tasks he can 'help' us with - he now helps me feed the kitties (hand him half a cup of kibble, point to the dish, dump and repeat), latches the cabinet doors in the kitchen, picks up his books and puts them away and helps me pack lunches in the morning. (Should Dad have carrots in his lunch? How about this bag of chips?) He can put toys away and carry his lunchbox in to preschool. We also let him pick which shirt to wear, and which books to read.
It's also clear the language is going to pick up even more soon - the last report at daycare is he's getting even more physical because he can't make himself understood fast enough to the other kids (so there's been some timeouts related). He's a real Rooster in that sense; he's always the (rightly, to his mind) center of attention, so why aren't you doing it the way he does it? But it's coming - here we are, two months out.
I'm thinking pancakes for dinner tonight. And while Memorial Day is upon us, it won't include Fanime or Baycon this year - but there are at least three tasty options near us that will get us out of the house instead of having cabin fever. (Good thing payday is tomorrow, lean as it will be.) There's a fiesta in Hermosa Beach, a Greek fair in Northridge and a Country Fair in Topanga. All three days. Just have to get to them. (Glad I put air in the jog stroller tires. Now, the challenge is getting it where we're going.)
Next weekend is when I'll have a sitter in on Sunday for four hours (there will be two sessions of this) prior to setting up a full day at home two days of the 4th of July weekend as a stress test for backup care (with Jim looking to travel back east when his grandfather passes, having an immediate backup, one that can be on site within an hour is critical). It also allows us to attend AX (and it looks like I'll actually be staffing this year. Who knew?)
I'm listening to the Stupid that is our state government and wondering if the monies I'm spending on daycare won't end at school age and will just transition to private school instead. (Yes, I may have some costs related to daycare after school age, but I was not anticipating needing as many daycare hours and maybe even adding something like Kumon, Sylvan or Chinese school instead of daycare hours. Now? It might be a completely different world in five years, one that I wouldn't recognize today.) It's been a long time since I was in school in California and they passed Prop 13 the year I graduated from high school. I got a fantastic education.
Since then, if you did - you did it in spite of every effort to sabotage you. A whole industry in fund-raising garbage has benefited more than anyone else since then, I swear. And you know how I'm sure I got a great education? I'm also certain I do not have enough of the right kind of education to homeschool.
Not leaving. It's barbaric, but hey - it's home.
I also understand we could start Xander in soccer this year - he's old enough. I'm thinking this time next year, depending. There's a place to get some exercise! Wonder when they start basketball....
In other news, both Jim and I are still playing games after the kids asleep, reading silly books and getting enough sleep.
Tomorrow night - ramen! Who wants to go?
And it is less demanding - than one 3 year old - on a daily basis.
So when I hear about 'I can't work and have kids at the same time' - there's a disconnect. Don't worry, it's only me. Mom worked full time at night, slept while we were at school - and she had four of us. To me, having someone who only ran after us and did nothing more doesn't register. That only happened on weekends, holidays and when we were sick. (Even when Dad was alive, Mom was at the pharmacy helping out. I always had working parents. Guess where the ethic came from.)
For Xander, preschool-style daycare has been an incredible boon as well. There is no way we could have provided the amount of peer-exposure, educational opportunies, food choices (and opportunies to experiement with new ones) - you name it.
And this week, in particular - the English really has been kicking in. I would say he now attempts 99% of the words we tell him, and even better - comprehension is coming with it.
Last night, trying to settle him down for the night - he started in with the jazz hands and kicky feet...and I did my normal patter (while gently reinforcing the limbs to be quiet and at rest) of 'time for sleeping, there's nothing else going on here except that I won't let you stay awake...night-night, relax and go to sleep now' - looked up at him to get a status on how awake he still was - only to get a nod in response. Holy cow. And the fidgets stopped. That did not mean he closed his eyes and nodded off - it still was a quick trip in the car - but progress! I can now tell him it's time for bed...and WHY. I see a time in the near future when we won't have to put him down asleep - he will be able to be told what is expected of bedtime (ie, the bed is for sleeping in, and you stay there all night), instead of us putting him there unconscious.
Talking with my mother is fun. I tell her what this is like and she thinks I've got it tough. No Mom, I can't tell him to stay in bed, he doesn't know what I'm saying - that's why we put him down asleep. No, we weren't given his bedtime routine, we had to figure it out after we picked him up from the first night on. (About the only thing we got was when he normally slept. Which has also been bogus.)
He is also very clear on what 'not okay' is all about. Progress!
This is also the week we started doing two things - a new bedtime routine that includes one episode of television, two books and then bedtime. So far, it's resulted in two THUDs and the one drive-induced THUD last night. Also, we're actively looking for tasks he can 'help' us with - he now helps me feed the kitties (hand him half a cup of kibble, point to the dish, dump and repeat), latches the cabinet doors in the kitchen, picks up his books and puts them away and helps me pack lunches in the morning. (Should Dad have carrots in his lunch? How about this bag of chips?) He can put toys away and carry his lunchbox in to preschool. We also let him pick which shirt to wear, and which books to read.
It's also clear the language is going to pick up even more soon - the last report at daycare is he's getting even more physical because he can't make himself understood fast enough to the other kids (so there's been some timeouts related). He's a real Rooster in that sense; he's always the (rightly, to his mind) center of attention, so why aren't you doing it the way he does it? But it's coming - here we are, two months out.
I'm thinking pancakes for dinner tonight. And while Memorial Day is upon us, it won't include Fanime or Baycon this year - but there are at least three tasty options near us that will get us out of the house instead of having cabin fever. (Good thing payday is tomorrow, lean as it will be.) There's a fiesta in Hermosa Beach, a Greek fair in Northridge and a Country Fair in Topanga. All three days. Just have to get to them. (Glad I put air in the jog stroller tires. Now, the challenge is getting it where we're going.)
Next weekend is when I'll have a sitter in on Sunday for four hours (there will be two sessions of this) prior to setting up a full day at home two days of the 4th of July weekend as a stress test for backup care (with Jim looking to travel back east when his grandfather passes, having an immediate backup, one that can be on site within an hour is critical). It also allows us to attend AX (and it looks like I'll actually be staffing this year. Who knew?)
I'm listening to the Stupid that is our state government and wondering if the monies I'm spending on daycare won't end at school age and will just transition to private school instead. (Yes, I may have some costs related to daycare after school age, but I was not anticipating needing as many daycare hours and maybe even adding something like Kumon, Sylvan or Chinese school instead of daycare hours. Now? It might be a completely different world in five years, one that I wouldn't recognize today.) It's been a long time since I was in school in California and they passed Prop 13 the year I graduated from high school. I got a fantastic education.
Since then, if you did - you did it in spite of every effort to sabotage you. A whole industry in fund-raising garbage has benefited more than anyone else since then, I swear. And you know how I'm sure I got a great education? I'm also certain I do not have enough of the right kind of education to homeschool.
Not leaving. It's barbaric, but hey - it's home.
I also understand we could start Xander in soccer this year - he's old enough. I'm thinking this time next year, depending. There's a place to get some exercise! Wonder when they start basketball....
In other news, both Jim and I are still playing games after the kids asleep, reading silly books and getting enough sleep.
Tomorrow night - ramen! Who wants to go?
