Signature NOT required.

Here's another quirk you probably won't see in the general scheme of things.

I don't like autographs.

I'll let that sink in for a moment. No, I don't want it signed. No, I don't want some stranger to feel obligated to write their name on something, some such or another. It kind of creeps me out.

And if I know you well enough to form an opinion based on other things besides that book, DVD or photograph in your hand?

*shivers* I don't need proof that you are another warm-blood sentient being with hands and know how to spell your name. I don't need proof that you existed.

What else is an autograph for?

I've met many a person who thought an autographing their works was a more-than-larger 'thank you' - I swear, Alton Brown would have signed *anything* I put in front of him - and just about did - I have signed DVDs (inside the box, I never thought of that, but he did and had it done before I could think twice about it) and he asked me if I wanted all of them signed. I hugged him instead, with permission. I am a GOOD hugger. And from that interaction, I take away something more valuable than an autograph - I get to talk to you. And really, that's what I want. I don't need a lifetime -

I want to thank you - and see if you have questions for me. I know I only have five minutes, tops. I can do a lot in five minutes.

This is one of the reasons I really love going to the LAT Festival of Books, because that's the largest draw. They bring out the authors to talk about their Stuff - and plan to host short signing sessions after each and every panel discussion. Buy as many of the books as you wish - Borders has it covered, really. And they are good about the signings - they've done many many festivals, so they have it down to a science. Nobody wears out, nobody gets shorted. You're in, you're done and you move on. Thanks for coming!

So grateful to meet Pico Iyer. I finally got to tell him how grateful I've been for his books - they've saved my good name more than once, and I had information I couldn't have gotten any other way that kept me from being a jerk. Autograph - eh. I'll have to go back and read the inscription (and I don't direct anyone what to write - 'do what you like' is the only direction I'll ever give) - because he just kept writing as I spoke to him. I love his books - after meeting him, I adore him.

Jim and I went to a book signing for Emeril Lagasse once - Jim got recipe tips, but the only thing I really wanted him to hear was 'thank you for putting up with all of us.' That got a look right in the eyes - why yes, I'm aware this is work. And thank you for doing it for me. (It also got a smile. He'd stayed far, far over his scheduled time to sign everyone's books that night. His reward from some idiots was flash photography without asking. Dicks.)

I loved having that five minutes with the three women hosting the parenting panel this last festival - for that five minutes, I had some of the best minds local to me talking to me about parenting, but even more, it was about becoming a parent under less than fair circumstances and having a legitimate vent about it. And all I got were nods, suggestions and yes - validation. They knew I wasn't big on autographs, but there I was - and I explained as much. It got a wry grin from one author with an atta girl.

I like it when people get to be people, after all.

More than once, someone has gone to a con and sent me a signed photograph they'd gotten for me. Aww. And then I didn't have a clue what to do with it. (Yes, yes - I know you can sell such things. Eww. No, really. EWWWWWW.)

People threw their programs onto the stage when Paul McCartney performed here last. Uh, someone *hit* him with one. No, I don't want anything with Paul McCartney's autograph on it. No words large enough for the wrong THAT is. Don't buy third-party gained autographs, guys. Just. Don't.

Swear to God, I'd do anything I could to take the demand out of a market that turns people into monsters like that. (We can talk about people taking pictures without permission another day. There's a post with profanity in it for you.)

It hits my trigger on treating celebrities as inanimate commodities even when we're dealing with the real flesh and blood person - and I really wish someone would take this up as a constitutional issue based on the 13th amendment, because it's just wrong. You may make a bundle being a celebrity, but you are never SOLD, body and soul, to the public, in any fashion - and I'm reminded often that there's a large segment of my culture that thinks an autograph is part and parcel of that concept and that it's very real.

I do not own you - any part of you - if I bought your work. I bought a book, that's it. If I get to talk to you, person to person while you sign it as a gift to me - that's worth the trouble. The autograph is not the reason I'm there. I liked the book, I *might* like you (at least, I respect your ability enough to mention it as such) and that's what I want you to know.

I don't need anything signed and sent to me. I'm also pretty certain you know your books are real, too and that you've been around many copies of them. I don't need proof that you actually saw *this one.*

If I see something signed that I wasn't there for? All I can think of is that you were made to work, without thanks - because I wasn't there to give it.

I don't want it signed. I don't like autographs.

I like your stuff. And that's plenty, for both of us.

Signature NOT required.

Here's another quirk you probably won't see in the general scheme of things.

I don't like autographs.

I'll let that sink in for a moment. No, I don't want it signed. No, I don't want some stranger to feel obligated to write their name on something, some such or another. It kind of creeps me out.

And if I know you well enough to form an opinion based on other things besides that book, DVD or photograph in your hand?

*shivers* I don't need proof that you are another warm-blood sentient being with hands and know how to spell your name. I don't need proof that you existed.

What else is an autograph for?

I've met many a person who thought an autographing their works was a more-than-larger 'thank you' - I swear, Alton Brown would have signed *anything* I put in front of him - and just about did - I have signed DVDs (inside the box, I never thought of that, but he did and had it done before I could think twice about it) and he asked me if I wanted all of them signed. I hugged him instead, with permission. I am a GOOD hugger. And from that interaction, I take away something more valuable than an autograph - I get to talk to you. And really, that's what I want. I don't need a lifetime -

I want to thank you - and see if you have questions for me. I know I only have five minutes, tops. I can do a lot in five minutes.

This is one of the reasons I really love going to the LAT Festival of Books, because that's the largest draw. They bring out the authors to talk about their Stuff - and plan to host short signing sessions after each and every panel discussion. Buy as many of the books as you wish - Borders has it covered, really. And they are good about the signings - they've done many many festivals, so they have it down to a science. Nobody wears out, nobody gets shorted. You're in, you're done and you move on. Thanks for coming!

So grateful to meet Pico Iyer. I finally got to tell him how grateful I've been for his books - they've saved my good name more than once, and I had information I couldn't have gotten any other way that kept me from being a jerk. Autograph - eh. I'll have to go back and read the inscription (and I don't direct anyone what to write - 'do what you like' is the only direction I'll ever give) - because he just kept writing as I spoke to him. I love his books - after meeting him, I adore him.

Jim and I went to a book signing for Emeril Lagasse once - Jim got recipe tips, but the only thing I really wanted him to hear was 'thank you for putting up with all of us.' That got a look right in the eyes - why yes, I'm aware this is work. And thank you for doing it for me. (It also got a smile. He'd stayed far, far over his scheduled time to sign everyone's books that night. His reward from some idiots was flash photography without asking. Dicks.)

I loved having that five minutes with the three women hosting the parenting panel this last festival - for that five minutes, I had some of the best minds local to me talking to me about parenting, but even more, it was about becoming a parent under less than fair circumstances and having a legitimate vent about it. And all I got were nods, suggestions and yes - validation. They knew I wasn't big on autographs, but there I was - and I explained as much. It got a wry grin from one author with an atta girl.

I like it when people get to be people, after all.

More than once, someone has gone to a con and sent me a signed photograph they'd gotten for me. Aww. And then I didn't have a clue what to do with it. (Yes, yes - I know you can sell such things. Eww. No, really. EWWWWWW.)

People threw their programs onto the stage when Paul McCartney performed here last. Uh, someone *hit* him with one. No, I don't want anything with Paul McCartney's autograph on it. No words large enough for the wrong THAT is. Don't buy third-party gained autographs, guys. Just. Don't.

Swear to God, I'd do anything I could to take the demand out of a market that turns people into monsters like that. (We can talk about people taking pictures without permission another day. There's a post with profanity in it for you.)

It hits my trigger on treating celebrities as inanimate commodities even when we're dealing with the real flesh and blood person - and I really wish someone would take this up as a constitutional issue based on the 13th amendment, because it's just wrong. You may make a bundle being a celebrity, but you are never SOLD, body and soul, to the public, in any fashion - and I'm reminded often that there's a large segment of my culture that thinks an autograph is part and parcel of that concept and that it's very real.

I do not own you - any part of you - if I bought your work. I bought a book, that's it. If I get to talk to you, person to person while you sign it as a gift to me - that's worth the trouble. The autograph is not the reason I'm there. I liked the book, I *might* like you (at least, I respect your ability enough to mention it as such) and that's what I want you to know.

I don't need anything signed and sent to me. I'm also pretty certain you know your books are real, too and that you've been around many copies of them. I don't need proof that you actually saw *this one.*

If I see something signed that I wasn't there for? All I can think of is that you were made to work, without thanks - because I wasn't there to give it.

I don't want it signed. I don't like autographs.

I like your stuff. And that's plenty, for both of us.

Signature NOT required.

Here's another quirk you probably won't see in the general scheme of things.

I don't like autographs.

I'll let that sink in for a moment. No, I don't want it signed. No, I don't want some stranger to feel obligated to write their name on something, some such or another. It kind of creeps me out.

And if I know you well enough to form an opinion based on other things besides that book, DVD or photograph in your hand?

*shivers* I don't need proof that you are another warm-blood sentient being with hands and know how to spell your name. I don't need proof that you existed.

What else is an autograph for?

I've met many a person who thought an autographing their works was a more-than-larger 'thank you' - I swear, Alton Brown would have signed *anything* I put in front of him - and just about did - I have signed DVDs (inside the box, I never thought of that, but he did and had it done before I could think twice about it) and he asked me if I wanted all of them signed. I hugged him instead, with permission. I am a GOOD hugger. And from that interaction, I take away something more valuable than an autograph - I get to talk to you. And really, that's what I want. I don't need a lifetime -

I want to thank you - and see if you have questions for me. I know I only have five minutes, tops. I can do a lot in five minutes.

This is one of the reasons I really love going to the LAT Festival of Books, because that's the largest draw. They bring out the authors to talk about their Stuff - and plan to host short signing sessions after each and every panel discussion. Buy as many of the books as you wish - Borders has it covered, really. And they are good about the signings - they've done many many festivals, so they have it down to a science. Nobody wears out, nobody gets shorted. You're in, you're done and you move on. Thanks for coming!

So grateful to meet Pico Iyer. I finally got to tell him how grateful I've been for his books - they've saved my good name more than once, and I had information I couldn't have gotten any other way that kept me from being a jerk. Autograph - eh. I'll have to go back and read the inscription (and I don't direct anyone what to write - 'do what you like' is the only direction I'll ever give) - because he just kept writing as I spoke to him. I love his books - after meeting him, I adore him.

Jim and I went to a book signing for Emeril Lagasse once - Jim got recipe tips, but the only thing I really wanted him to hear was 'thank you for putting up with all of us.' That got a look right in the eyes - why yes, I'm aware this is work. And thank you for doing it for me. (It also got a smile. He'd stayed far, far over his scheduled time to sign everyone's books that night. His reward from some idiots was flash photography without asking. Dicks.)

I loved having that five minutes with the three women hosting the parenting panel this last festival - for that five minutes, I had some of the best minds local to me talking to me about parenting, but even more, it was about becoming a parent under less than fair circumstances and having a legitimate vent about it. And all I got were nods, suggestions and yes - validation. They knew I wasn't big on autographs, but there I was - and I explained as much. It got a wry grin from one author with an atta girl.

I like it when people get to be people, after all.

More than once, someone has gone to a con and sent me a signed photograph they'd gotten for me. Aww. And then I didn't have a clue what to do with it. (Yes, yes - I know you can sell such things. Eww. No, really. EWWWWWW.)

People threw their programs onto the stage when Paul McCartney performed here last. Uh, someone *hit* him with one. No, I don't want anything with Paul McCartney's autograph on it. No words large enough for the wrong THAT is. Don't buy third-party gained autographs, guys. Just. Don't.

Swear to God, I'd do anything I could to take the demand out of a market that turns people into monsters like that. (We can talk about people taking pictures without permission another day. There's a post with profanity in it for you.)

It hits my trigger on treating celebrities as inanimate commodities even when we're dealing with the real flesh and blood person - and I really wish someone would take this up as a constitutional issue based on the 13th amendment, because it's just wrong. You may make a bundle being a celebrity, but you are never SOLD, body and soul, to the public, in any fashion - and I'm reminded often that there's a large segment of my culture that thinks an autograph is part and parcel of that concept and that it's very real.

I do not own you - any part of you - if I bought your work. I bought a book, that's it. If I get to talk to you, person to person while you sign it as a gift to me - that's worth the trouble. The autograph is not the reason I'm there. I liked the book, I *might* like you (at least, I respect your ability enough to mention it as such) and that's what I want you to know.

I don't need anything signed and sent to me. I'm also pretty certain you know your books are real, too and that you've been around many copies of them. I don't need proof that you actually saw *this one.*

If I see something signed that I wasn't there for? All I can think of is that you were made to work, without thanks - because I wasn't there to give it.

I don't want it signed. I don't like autographs.

I like your stuff. And that's plenty, for both of us.