w00t w00t booyah

I got a terrible phone call Saturday night, just before nine o'clock. Diane Kelly was on the line and that, plus the hour meant something awful had happened.

Her mother, Marian Kelly, is in the hospital - and won't be coming home. She's had a stroke - one so large and so uncontrolled, she won't survive it. I haven't heard anything since then, but I suspect the next call I get from Diane will be to tell me when the wake/memorial will be.

I didn't journal when she came to visit us earlier this year - catching up with Christmas, our birthdays and just plain 'let me meet your kid!' - perhaps I should have, but it didn't seem much more than a visit at the time. Kid was awful to her - although she didn't know him well enough to see it through my experience and know the difference. My kid is charming that way - and a total asshole at the same time. They brought new clothes - now all too small (they got handed down to the cousin), a book and twenty dollars 'to spend on whatever he wants.' She adored him - and he was more than happy to see how much she would put up and loved the attention.

We hadn't spent it yet. I think that's going towards the first savings bond for college now. That just seems more appropriate today.

Marian has been a part of my life since I was 15 - for those of you following at home, I'm 50. That's 35 years and oh man, the stuff we've seen together.

We toured Forry Ackerman's house together once. We both wrote and read entries in the S & H Letterzine - and could talk fan fiction like nobody's business, because for Marian? Writing WAS her business - even though she never sold a word of her work. She was active in a writer's group all the time I knew her, and probably a decade before I met her. She wrote well, prolifically and when she wasn't writing, she talked about writing, taught writing...and also taught so many of us how to simply be Good People while we did it.

She was the first person I knew with a VCR - and it was a Betamax. She was also the first person I knew who could run up $200 phone bills - not without shame, no - but did it on a regular basis (and this is in 1979 dollars, folks - it was *unheard* of!). I often spent two hours at a time on the phone with Marian - it was EASY. There was always so many interesting things to talk about! She attended more conventions than I'll ever forget, across a broader set of interests and focus than I could ever fathom.

It's hard to give you the breadth this woman had. Yes, we did 'fan' things - but often we simply threw our hands up about it. Marian was the one who first warned me 'fans EAT their dead' - and was she wrong? Marian was also the person who stuck the idea in my head that you never left someone with an angry word or deed, because you never knew if that was going to be the last thing you ever GOT to leave them. So leave them with something Good, always.

Marian fostered so many baby anythings, I can't list them all. A tortoise wandered into the yard one day - Marian knew just what to feed it, how old it was, breed and territory - the works. And it wasn't limited to animals. Marian, I swear, could have planted a No. 2 pencil and it would have born book fruit. She brought an acorn home from Disneyland once - the HUGE oak tree in her front yard? Right. When we moved out of the condo in Ontario, I boarded the dog with my Mom, the cat with the vet - and my plants with Marian. I have a 15' Chinese Oak in my front yard that was only a seedling byblow in a pot with some plumeria cuttings when I gave them to Marian. I have the plumerias in the front yard too now. HUGE ones.

She was that person to so many. I can't tell you.

When I had that last round of depressive illness, Marian took phone calls from me - one a day, and was firm in all the right places and never let me malinger or wallow. That was over twenty years ago. If I'm that way with you, understand - it was the saving of me. It will be the saving of you too, if you allow it. I was brought along very well, you see.

We may have actually spent time in the same room once a year or less, but on the phone far more often. Our lives were full and we enjoyed telling each other about them. She was a wonderful audience, and I will miss that.

I can't say how many ways I'll miss her, except to remember she will be off doing other things and when we meet again, she'll be full of energy to tell me about them.

She's aged - at 80, she was diabetic and sickened easily. Her parents had both had long, lingering illnesses before finally passing - so I am comforted that when she went, it was from 100% of her capacity, without any pain or suffering. I'm sure she watching the Royal Wedding with much glee and enjoyment - she was one of my tried-and-true Anglophiles and adored Dr. Who.

She has three kids, I certainly know of them - they are my contemporaries, age-wise - but Marian was my friend. Three kids, three grandchildren...and five great-grandchildren. I remember when the greats arrived and we just looked at each other. How had THAT happened? We weren't old enough for that! She had survived her husband by only a few years - and before his passing, they hadn't been apart since they were 12 years old. I had wondered, that last visit, just how much more time I would get with Marian - and now I know.

Tea, sympathy, kicks in the ass, wine, sexuality, media - politics! - thirty five years. Before, middle and after Cliff. College years, crazy years - all the years.

I have so much, I can't even find the tears - because it's clear this is as it needs to be.

I'm just scrambling to tell as many people as I can, because the phone? I don't know if as many of our mutual friends and acquaintances had used it as much as we had. I had made the conscious decision to stay in touch - so many hadn't, and I'd found that out when Jack had passed. FRUSTRATING.

I can only imagine the welcome she's going to receive. I'm sure Jack has missed her terribly.

May her memory bring peace. To all of us.

I got a terrible phone call Saturday night, just before nine o'clock. Diane Kelly was on the line and that, plus the hour meant something awful had happened.

Her mother, Marian Kelly, is in the hospital - and won't be coming home. She's had a stroke - one so large and so uncontrolled, she won't survive it. I haven't heard anything since then, but I suspect the next call I get from Diane will be to tell me when the wake/memorial will be.

I didn't journal when she came to visit us earlier this year - catching up with Christmas, our birthdays and just plain 'let me meet your kid!' - perhaps I should have, but it didn't seem much more than a visit at the time. Kid was awful to her - although she didn't know him well enough to see it through my experience and know the difference. My kid is charming that way - and a total asshole at the same time. They brought new clothes - now all too small (they got handed down to the cousin), a book and twenty dollars 'to spend on whatever he wants.' She adored him - and he was more than happy to see how much she would put up and loved the attention.

We hadn't spent it yet. I think that's going towards the first savings bond for college now. That just seems more appropriate today.

Marian has been a part of my life since I was 15 - for those of you following at home, I'm 50. That's 35 years and oh man, the stuff we've seen together.

We toured Forry Ackerman's house together once. We both wrote and read entries in the S & H Letterzine - and could talk fan fiction like nobody's business, because for Marian? Writing WAS her business - even though she never sold a word of her work. She was active in a writer's group all the time I knew her, and probably a decade before I met her. She wrote well, prolifically and when she wasn't writing, she talked about writing, taught writing...and also taught so many of us how to simply be Good People while we did it.

She was the first person I knew with a VCR - and it was a Betamax. She was also the first person I knew who could run up $200 phone bills - not without shame, no - but did it on a regular basis (and this is in 1979 dollars, folks - it was *unheard* of!). I often spent two hours at a time on the phone with Marian - it was EASY. There was always so many interesting things to talk about! She attended more conventions than I'll ever forget, across a broader set of interests and focus than I could ever fathom.

It's hard to give you the breadth this woman had. Yes, we did 'fan' things - but often we simply threw our hands up about it. Marian was the one who first warned me 'fans EAT their dead' - and was she wrong? Marian was also the person who stuck the idea in my head that you never left someone with an angry word or deed, because you never knew if that was going to be the last thing you ever GOT to leave them. So leave them with something Good, always.

Marian fostered so many baby anythings, I can't list them all. A tortoise wandered into the yard one day - Marian knew just what to feed it, how old it was, breed and territory - the works. And it wasn't limited to animals. Marian, I swear, could have planted a No. 2 pencil and it would have born book fruit. She brought an acorn home from Disneyland once - the HUGE oak tree in her front yard? Right. When we moved out of the condo in Ontario, I boarded the dog with my Mom, the cat with the vet - and my plants with Marian. I have a 15' Chinese Oak in my front yard that was only a seedling byblow in a pot with some plumeria cuttings when I gave them to Marian. I have the plumerias in the front yard too now. HUGE ones.

She was that person to so many. I can't tell you.

When I had that last round of depressive illness, Marian took phone calls from me - one a day, and was firm in all the right places and never let me malinger or wallow. That was over twenty years ago. If I'm that way with you, understand - it was the saving of me. It will be the saving of you too, if you allow it. I was brought along very well, you see.

We may have actually spent time in the same room once a year or less, but on the phone far more often. Our lives were full and we enjoyed telling each other about them. She was a wonderful audience, and I will miss that.

I can't say how many ways I'll miss her, except to remember she will be off doing other things and when we meet again, she'll be full of energy to tell me about them.

She's aged - at 80, she was diabetic and sickened easily. Her parents had both had long, lingering illnesses before finally passing - so I am comforted that when she went, it was from 100% of her capacity, without any pain or suffering. I'm sure she watching the Royal Wedding with much glee and enjoyment - she was one of my tried-and-true Anglophiles and adored Dr. Who.

She has three kids, I certainly know of them - they are my contemporaries, age-wise - but Marian was my friend. Three kids, three grandchildren...and five great-grandchildren. I remember when the greats arrived and we just looked at each other. How had THAT happened? We weren't old enough for that! She had survived her husband by only a few years - and before his passing, they hadn't been apart since they were 12 years old. I had wondered, that last visit, just how much more time I would get with Marian - and now I know.

Tea, sympathy, kicks in the ass, wine, sexuality, media - politics! - thirty five years. Before, middle and after Cliff. College years, crazy years - all the years.

I have so much, I can't even find the tears - because it's clear this is as it needs to be.

I'm just scrambling to tell as many people as I can, because the phone? I don't know if as many of our mutual friends and acquaintances had used it as much as we had. I had made the conscious decision to stay in touch - so many hadn't, and I'd found that out when Jack had passed. FRUSTRATING.

I can only imagine the welcome she's going to receive. I'm sure Jack has missed her terribly.

May her memory bring peace. To all of us.

Here's another quirk you probably won't see in the general scheme of things.

I don't like autographs.

I'll let that sink in for a moment. No, I don't want it signed. No, I don't want some stranger to feel obligated to write their name on something, some such or another. It kind of creeps me out.

And if I know you well enough to form an opinion based on other things besides that book, DVD or photograph in your hand?

*shivers* I don't need proof that you are another warm-blood sentient being with hands and know how to spell your name. I don't need proof that you existed.

What else is an autograph for?

I've met many a person who thought an autographing their works was a more-than-larger 'thank you' - I swear, Alton Brown would have signed *anything* I put in front of him - and just about did - I have signed DVDs (inside the box, I never thought of that, but he did and had it done before I could think twice about it) and he asked me if I wanted all of them signed. I hugged him instead, with permission. I am a GOOD hugger. And from that interaction, I take away something more valuable than an autograph - I get to talk to you. And really, that's what I want. I don't need a lifetime -

I want to thank you - and see if you have questions for me. I know I only have five minutes, tops. I can do a lot in five minutes.

This is one of the reasons I really love going to the LAT Festival of Books, because that's the largest draw. They bring out the authors to talk about their Stuff - and plan to host short signing sessions after each and every panel discussion. Buy as many of the books as you wish - Borders has it covered, really. And they are good about the signings - they've done many many festivals, so they have it down to a science. Nobody wears out, nobody gets shorted. You're in, you're done and you move on. Thanks for coming!

So grateful to meet Pico Iyer. I finally got to tell him how grateful I've been for his books - they've saved my good name more than once, and I had information I couldn't have gotten any other way that kept me from being a jerk. Autograph - eh. I'll have to go back and read the inscription (and I don't direct anyone what to write - 'do what you like' is the only direction I'll ever give) - because he just kept writing as I spoke to him. I love his books - after meeting him, I adore him.

Jim and I went to a book signing for Emeril Lagasse once - Jim got recipe tips, but the only thing I really wanted him to hear was 'thank you for putting up with all of us.' That got a look right in the eyes - why yes, I'm aware this is work. And thank you for doing it for me. (It also got a smile. He'd stayed far, far over his scheduled time to sign everyone's books that night. His reward from some idiots was flash photography without asking. Dicks.)

I loved having that five minutes with the three women hosting the parenting panel this last festival - for that five minutes, I had some of the best minds local to me talking to me about parenting, but even more, it was about becoming a parent under less than fair circumstances and having a legitimate vent about it. And all I got were nods, suggestions and yes - validation. They knew I wasn't big on autographs, but there I was - and I explained as much. It got a wry grin from one author with an atta girl.

I like it when people get to be people, after all.

More than once, someone has gone to a con and sent me a signed photograph they'd gotten for me. Aww. And then I didn't have a clue what to do with it. (Yes, yes - I know you can sell such things. Eww. No, really. EWWWWWW.)

People threw their programs onto the stage when Paul McCartney performed here last. Uh, someone *hit* him with one. No, I don't want anything with Paul McCartney's autograph on it. No words large enough for the wrong THAT is. Don't buy third-party gained autographs, guys. Just. Don't.

Swear to God, I'd do anything I could to take the demand out of a market that turns people into monsters like that. (We can talk about people taking pictures without permission another day. There's a post with profanity in it for you.)

It hits my trigger on treating celebrities as inanimate commodities even when we're dealing with the real flesh and blood person - and I really wish someone would take this up as a constitutional issue based on the 13th amendment, because it's just wrong. You may make a bundle being a celebrity, but you are never SOLD, body and soul, to the public, in any fashion - and I'm reminded often that there's a large segment of my culture that thinks an autograph is part and parcel of that concept and that it's very real.

I do not own you - any part of you - if I bought your work. I bought a book, that's it. If I get to talk to you, person to person while you sign it as a gift to me - that's worth the trouble. The autograph is not the reason I'm there. I liked the book, I *might* like you (at least, I respect your ability enough to mention it as such) and that's what I want you to know.

I don't need anything signed and sent to me. I'm also pretty certain you know your books are real, too and that you've been around many copies of them. I don't need proof that you actually saw *this one.*

If I see something signed that I wasn't there for? All I can think of is that you were made to work, without thanks - because I wasn't there to give it.

I don't want it signed. I don't like autographs.

I like your stuff. And that's plenty, for both of us.

First off, if you want more details on what I'm about to talk about - go get the book I'm going to talk about. Because the point of this exercise? Is a review. Not a critique. You don't know the difference? I'm not surprised. Here, come over here and I'll give it to you the way I got it back in the ollllld days.

See, back when there was no internet for you to find your pr0n fan fiction to read?

It took about 1.5 - 5 years, about five grand of your own money and as many good friends who could write, draw or otherwise flunky for you to have something to read. And then? Maybe there would be 200 copies or so - that you'd have to sell to make back your five grand - and that was it. Oh, and that fanzine of yours? Might have ten stories in it. (BTW, do the math. Add $$ for shipping. OW.)

So, about two years, a buncha money, hope you knew about it (maybe even wrote something for it) and you got ten stories to read. Maybe you'd even like a couple of them.

That's it.

You might imagine what the Yuletide archives look like to me. *cue 2001 overture*

But one of the side effects of that kind of output? You didn't write more stories to outline your opinion of this or that to prove your point - flames? Bah. Carefully banked coals, more like it.

You wrote a critique. Maybe you were stupid enough to call it a review, but then you'd get the likes of Paula Smith, Jan Lindner, Signe Landon, Connie Faddis, Marian Kelly, Teri White and Melanie Rawn down on your ass bitchslapping you into coherence, explaining quite plainly what a review IS and IS NOT.

Now, most of us welcomed critques - but it was expected that you would take such treatment as a means to improve, because as fan fiction writers...that was what we were here for, after all. It's nice to play, but we're doing this to get better and be Real Writers ourselves someday. (Two of those people who lavished much abuse on me back in the day for my own good actually made it. D'ya know who? I still have my zines they wrote. Yes, I do.)

So when somebody asks me to review, even casually - I take it very seriously that there are some things I'm not going to do.

1. A review is not intended to provide feedback for improvement. You don't take something out of the work, turn it over in your hands and go 'yanno, this color blue doesn't match the drapes - it might need some work.'

2. You might discuss the entire plot in a critique. It is verboten in a review. Subject matter, sure. Who, what, when, why and how - as briefly as possible, and don't give anything away.

3. A review is designed to provide the reader with information that will entice them to read the entire work on their own. A critique is for the author's primary use as a means to correct, enhance or go 'hmmm' a lot. So be aware of your focus and your intended audience. (People who write critiques in forums calling them 'reviews' being just plain passive-agressive whiny-weenies get the special hell - and lots of raw egg shampooes. *pulls eyelid in their general direction*)

4. A review is nearly transparent as far as style is concerned. If I write a review, you shouldn't notice me. A review is impersonal space and really? An opinion is not required. It's expected that you would rate a review these days - but in my experience and training? Is not expected and is considered an intrusion of your opinion into a place where it doesn't belong. You want to tell the author what you think? You tell the author, if you've gotten persmission to do a critque - oh, and make sure you can back that opinion up, bucko.

So now that I've said that, I can start saying other things. Be right back.

First off, if you want more details on what I'm about to talk about - go get the book I'm going to talk about. Because the point of this exercise? Is a review. Not a critique. You don't know the difference? I'm not surprised. Here, come over here and I'll give it to you the way I got it back in the ollllld days.

See, back when there was no internet for you to find your pr0n fan fiction to read?

It took about 1.5 - 5 years, about five grand of your own money and as many good friends who could write, draw or otherwise flunky for you to have something to read. And then? Maybe there would be 200 copies or so - that you'd have to sell to make back your five grand - and that was it. Oh, and that fanzine of yours? Might have ten stories in it. (BTW, do the math. Add $$ for shipping. OW.)

So, about two years, a buncha money, hope you knew about it (maybe even wrote something for it) and you got ten stories to read. Maybe you'd even like a couple of them.

That's it.

You might imagine what the Yuletide archives look like to me. *cue 2001 overture*

But one of the side effects of that kind of output? You didn't write more stories to outline your opinion of this or that to prove your point - flames? Bah. Carefully banked coals, more like it.

You wrote a critique. Maybe you were stupid enough to call it a review, but then you'd get the likes of Paula Smith, Jan Lindner, Signe Landon, Connie Faddis, Marian Kelly, Teri White and Melanie Rawn down on your ass bitchslapping you into coherence, explaining quite plainly what a review IS and IS NOT.

Now, most of us welcomed critques - but it was expected that you would take such treatment as a means to improve, because as fan fiction writers...that was what we were here for, after all. It's nice to play, but we're doing this to get better and be Real Writers ourselves someday. (Two of those people who lavished much abuse on me back in the day for my own good actually made it. D'ya know who? I still have my zines they wrote. Yes, I do.)

So when somebody asks me to review, even casually - I take it very seriously that there are some things I'm not going to do.

1. A review is not intended to provide feedback for improvement. You don't take something out of the work, turn it over in your hands and go 'yanno, this color blue doesn't match the drapes - it might need some work.'

2. You might discuss the entire plot in a critique. It is verboten in a review. Subject matter, sure. Who, what, when, why and how - as briefly as possible, and don't give anything away.

3. A review is designed to provide the reader with information that will entice them to read the entire work on their own. A critique is for the author's primary use as a means to correct, enhance or go 'hmmm' a lot. So be aware of your focus and your intended audience. (People who write critiques in forums calling them 'reviews' being just plain passive-agressive whiny-weenies get the special hell - and lots of raw egg shampooes. *pulls eyelid in their general direction*)

4. A review is nearly transparent as far as style is concerned. If I write a review, you shouldn't notice me. A review is impersonal space and really? An opinion is not required. It's expected that you would rate a review these days - but in my experience and training? Is not expected and is considered an intrusion of your opinion into a place where it doesn't belong. You want to tell the author what you think? You tell the author, if you've gotten persmission to do a critque - oh, and make sure you can back that opinion up, bucko.

So now that I've said that, I can start saying other things. Be right back.

Remember that convention I did in Claremont, back when I was just old enough to sign contracts? Had 40 people, called Cop-Con, was a replacement for Zebra-Con that year, yadda ya?

Someone who attended the con has found me.

On LinkedIn.

Tells me I look just the same as I did then. All 22 years old of me, sopping wet. He always was a charmer....

Me and my brain are going to go sit and gibber in a corner now, k thnx bye.

Yeah, it was time. Both for the icon and the post.

My FL has just been oozing with 'OMG I MUST WRITE ST FANFIC' to the point of getting sticky with it. (I am much amused by this. It's cute.)

Let me help you a bit with this.

One, if you really want some vintage K/S stuff? Please go visit my friend Jim Rondeau's website and lend him a hand. Jim, being the stand-up kind of guy he (and his wife Melody) are, has been approached time and again by fen who literally aged out of their lives and needed help handling their affairs, which included getting rid of a ton of slash fanzines.

Help him make it go away - and you get a good idea of what this is all about, or has been about, for some time. (Took a quick look at some of the lists - seriously, there is some really classic vintage stuff on those lists. Stuff I have on my shelves. Jeez. HINT: Anything named CONTACT, you want. Seriously.)

I've seen a couple of top ten things you really need to know about Star Trek - good, but let me put my own spin on it.

(And I'll go backwards, just for the ugly fun of it.)

10. Star Trek has more in common with Mission:Impossible, Man From UNCLE and Bonanza than Star Wars, X-Men or Battlestar Galactica. (For example, the ship is gorgeous, but it's one model and that's the budget, folks. Pay attention to the people, not the gadgets. They're all salt and pepper shakers anyway, and only there to provide a place for the story to happen in.) It was also tightly tied to a miliary model - the American kind.

9. You can do without plot, but not for long. By the same token, don't forget your second act character development work - we know a lot about our characters gleaned from 79 hours of ST:OS, but we didn't get it in more than a few minutes here and there. (I think I still have Bjo Trimble's Concordance if anyone wants a look at it. She spent decades compiling it, and still didn't get everything right.)

8. Stardates have no tie to reality. Pick the digits you wish to use and keep it consistent for your purposes. (We actually tried to tie to Julian Dates once. We gave it up instead of opening a vein.)

7. The original series earned a number of Hugo Awards, but no Emmy Awards. Ever. (See #10.) Feel free to experiment, within reason. You won't be really terrible, not with all these years of really BAD stuff still around. (Not much of it is searchable online anyway. You don't know. Trust me on this.) You Will Not Suck. Ever.

6. Kirk, at the time he became a ship's captain, was the youngest one who'd done it. And young was not 17. He was 36, and by the time the show was over - nearly 40. That was VERY young. All of his peers were twenty or more years older.

He was absolutely certain of what he was doing, not careless or cocky. He made FEW mistakes, and managed that by checking and thinking and checking again with people who knew more than he did (and he KNEW he didn't know everything) and making that all work together. Watch how fast he does it, and pay attention - he makes it look easy. But young - very much the junior member of the club. Even the Commodores are ten years and change older. (In this, Picard by comparison was far more typical and traditional.)

5. Spock was younger, particularly in Vulcan terms. When he was Pike's Science Officer, he might as well have been Wesley Crusher. Green doesn't begin to describe him, not even when he was Kirk's First Officer. Seriously. He's a lot of things, bright and focused as HECK not the least of them. But more than a little unsure about the next part of life is key to Spock in the ST:OS years. Centered as all giddy hell, sure. Sure about himself, not so much - it was always a search for understanding there, lifelong. Best game face in the business, accept no substitutes. (His father was HAWTER.)

4. McCoy was not either of their contemporaries - he was at least 15 years older, and in some interpretations I've read, twenty years older than Kirk (Ditto Scotty, matter of fact). He's also a sandbagger. There's a lot of crossover between Spock's expertise in science, and his in medicine (see the talent Kirk surrounds himself with?) and he can hold his own with Spock. He just doesn't have a lot of patience with him. ^^ He has years on Spock - and sometimes, just plain has more depth. (If there was K/S, I'm sure he knew, was supportive and that's your bizness. He'd had some really nasty relationship stuff in his history - HE'S OLDER GUYS - so he's not in a big hurry to do it again.)

3. People talk about Kirk and Spock being the strongest bond - truth is, both Spock and McCoy lean into Kirk like bookends. Take the book out of the middle, and the ends prop each other up. Take one of the bookends away, and the other two topple over.

2. Uhura never spent a night alone if she didn't want to. Believe it. And who she loved was her own business, and nobody else's.

1. You can justify anything by calling it an alternative reality. Seriously. Do a good job and they'll forgive you. Good is also relative - if you like it, that's good enough.

EXTRA CREDIT: Write women believeably. This rarely happens, if at all. There's plenty of slash, but no women - unless it's a parody. You're going to have to get used to it. Decades of women writing for ST did.

Most important: have a good time. It's not worth it if you don't. Fandom is a vaccum - it's only as nice as what you bring to it, and if you stay long enough, it'll suck you dry - every time, all the time, no matter what. And Star Trek fans ate their young. Believe THAT.

Yeah, it was time. Both for the icon and the post.

My FL has just been oozing with 'OMG I MUST WRITE ST FANFIC' to the point of getting sticky with it. (I am much amused by this. It's cute.)

Let me help you a bit with this.

One, if you really want some vintage K/S stuff? Please go visit my friend Jim Rondeau's website and lend him a hand. Jim, being the stand-up kind of guy he (and his wife Melody) are, has been approached time and again by fen who literally aged out of their lives and needed help handling their affairs, which included getting rid of a ton of slash fanzines.

Help him make it go away - and you get a good idea of what this is all about, or has been about, for some time. (Took a quick look at some of the lists - seriously, there is some really classic vintage stuff on those lists. Stuff I have on my shelves. Jeez. HINT: Anything named CONTACT, you want. Seriously.)

I've seen a couple of top ten things you really need to know about Star Trek - good, but let me put my own spin on it.

(And I'll go backwards, just for the ugly fun of it.)

10. Star Trek has more in common with Mission:Impossible, Man From UNCLE and Bonanza than Star Wars, X-Men or Battlestar Galactica. (For example, the ship is gorgeous, but it's one model and that's the budget, folks. Pay attention to the people, not the gadgets. They're all salt and pepper shakers anyway, and only there to provide a place for the story to happen in.) It was also tightly tied to a miliary model - the American kind.

9. You can do without plot, but not for long. By the same token, don't forget your second act character development work - we know a lot about our characters gleaned from 79 hours of ST:OS, but we didn't get it in more than a few minutes here and there. (I think I still have Bjo Trimble's Concordance if anyone wants a look at it. She spent decades compiling it, and still didn't get everything right.)

8. Stardates have no tie to reality. Pick the digits you wish to use and keep it consistent for your purposes. (We actually tried to tie to Julian Dates once. We gave it up instead of opening a vein.)

7. The original series earned a number of Hugo Awards, but no Emmy Awards. Ever. (See #10.) Feel free to experiment, within reason. You won't be really terrible, not with all these years of really BAD stuff still around. (Not much of it is searchable online anyway. You don't know. Trust me on this.) You Will Not Suck. Ever.

6. Kirk, at the time he became a ship's captain, was the youngest one who'd done it. And young was not 17. He was 36, and by the time the show was over - nearly 40. That was VERY young. All of his peers were twenty or more years older.

He was absolutely certain of what he was doing, not careless or cocky. He made FEW mistakes, and managed that by checking and thinking and checking again with people who knew more than he did (and he KNEW he didn't know everything) and making that all work together. Watch how fast he does it, and pay attention - he makes it look easy. But young - very much the junior member of the club. Even the Commodores are ten years and change older. (In this, Picard by comparison was far more typical and traditional.)

5. Spock was younger, particularly in Vulcan terms. When he was Pike's Science Officer, he might as well have been Wesley Crusher. Green doesn't begin to describe him, not even when he was Kirk's First Officer. Seriously. He's a lot of things, bright and focused as HECK not the least of them. But more than a little unsure about the next part of life is key to Spock in the ST:OS years. Centered as all giddy hell, sure. Sure about himself, not so much - it was always a search for understanding there, lifelong. Best game face in the business, accept no substitutes. (His father was HAWTER.)

4. McCoy was not either of their contemporaries - he was at least 15 years older, and in some interpretations I've read, twenty years older than Kirk (Ditto Scotty, matter of fact). He's also a sandbagger. There's a lot of crossover between Spock's expertise in science, and his in medicine (see the talent Kirk surrounds himself with?) and he can hold his own with Spock. He just doesn't have a lot of patience with him. ^^ He has years on Spock - and sometimes, just plain has more depth. (If there was K/S, I'm sure he knew, was supportive and that's your bizness. He'd had some really nasty relationship stuff in his history - HE'S OLDER GUYS - so he's not in a big hurry to do it again.)

3. People talk about Kirk and Spock being the strongest bond - truth is, both Spock and McCoy lean into Kirk like bookends. Take the book out of the middle, and the ends prop each other up. Take one of the bookends away, and the other two topple over.

2. Uhura never spent a night alone if she didn't want to. Believe it. And who she loved was her own business, and nobody else's.

1. You can justify anything by calling it an alternative reality. Seriously. Do a good job and they'll forgive you. Good is also relative - if you like it, that's good enough.

EXTRA CREDIT: Write women believeably. This rarely happens, if at all. There's plenty of slash, but no women - unless it's a parody. You're going to have to get used to it. Decades of women writing for ST did.

Most important: have a good time. It's not worth it if you don't. Fandom is a vaccum - it's only as nice as what you bring to it, and if you stay long enough, it'll suck you dry - every time, all the time, no matter what. And Star Trek fans ate their young. Believe THAT.

Well, I now have one cat that is soooo fat (HOW FAT IS SHE) -

She's so fat she's can't groom her own butt and we'll have to put the entire house on a diet and .. buy baby wipes. FOR THE CAT.

Meandering around my bookmarks, I rediscovered a site joseph_palmer once showed me. (I told you guys I can, on occasion, write Ranma 1/2 fan fiction. I've told you this. So does he. He writes the good stuff. Me, I try.)

It's much easier to get a mental picture though, when the art can look like this.


I'm really pleased to see a number of new pieces too. Go meander around over there. Watching Avatar these days (yes, I do THAT too), I reminded of why I like Sokka so much...actually, I'll admit he's growing on me much faster than any of the other characters. He's smart, scary smart even with the mouth and attendant attitude. He's also incredibly good-hearted, level-headed...and I mentioned smart, right? On first look, you don't see it - you only hear the mouth running and tch. But stick around, and oh yeah.

People wonder why I still like Ranma so much - you have to wade through a lot of CRAP to get to it, I'll give you that much - but you find much the same in that character as well. SMART. Very smart, and it'll trip you up if you don't keep up with him. Incredibly level-headed, and patient to a fault...and good-hearted in the bargain. Educated is one thing - we're talking minds like steel traps, here.

Wanna know what I find sexay - there you go.

Carpets cleaned, recyclables taken in - lunches for the next two weeks at work bought and the clock is still ticking. Tomorrow - the conclusion of POMEGRANATE CARNAGE!