kyburg | Cranky to the nines

You ever read a journal and immediately friend them because you love how their mind works? The sense of humor, the simple pleasure of their POV?

I stumbled upon

the_m0g reading

lostboydv's journal, oh not that long ago. A year? A bit longer? Shoot, I found him in comments - and couldn't add him fast enough. He was funny, kind, sweet-hearted...and a terribly loyal friend.

He contracted leukemia shortly after I friended him -

And he hasn't had a stroke of luck since. Not one, that I can tell. They tell you the survival rates, they tell you the treatments they have for leukemia and how many more, and how much more successful they are than even ten years ago.

Charlie hasn't been one of the ones those numbers have touched. He's the one they are still working the labs for improvement, because his case is the proof that this disease is not always that easy to treat. In fact, he's dealing with complications today of the preferred treatment method that -

I can't say it. Don't want to jinx it. If I don't say it, maybe it won't happen.

But it's as bad as it can get. Cliff developed these kinds of complications, later on. There are ones they don't tell you about because if you DO develop them, game over. It just doesn't make sense to discuss them in a conversation of what if. You talk about the complications you can treat. The ones you can't, you just hear about when they happen - and then you're told to make ready.

There are journals and communities documenting the whole process -

m0g_love is the community with the best tabs right now.

I can't get there. There's no physical way. And yeah, I'm angry at that right now.

What I know of Charlie, I love. And I had every reason to be a total rah-rah at the onset of this disease. This isn't supposed to happen anymore.

I want to be wrong. God, I want to be wrong.