What it looks like -
May. 16th, 2011 11:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kyburgFor the record, if my kid tells you 'Daddy said I could - ' - no. No, Daddy did not say anything about whatever it was - matter of fact, he wasn't even consulted.
If you hear 'Mommy said I could - ' - um, guys. Mommy NEVER says he can do anything. For the record. That appears to be a line in my job description these days.
I'm also trying a different tact with the videogames and such - my kid aspires to be as big a Pokemon geek as his Dad, so trying to eliminate the games is really asking for more work with less returns in our environment. Yes, Dad finally beat him in a fair fight and the results were amazing. I had to remind Dad his kid is 5 and he's nearly 50. I had to hand out tea and sympathy to the kid. I then told kid Dad is *very* good at this and if he wanted to learn something, he needed to pay attention and not just get upset when Dad beat him (Soundly, I might add.) Dad can teach you a lot about this. You need to pay attention and not just try to win.
I've also tabled all final four runs for the time being - kid does them so often, he can do four of them in an hour. Using the same Pokemon constantly - with Jim's method (you buy enough stuff to keep your guys from fainting and grind grind grind), he's leveled up his favorites to 100. Guess what. Kid has ego issues - he likes winning. A lot.
Kid, you have other things to do. Trouble is, they're not as easy. The latest version actually has some pretty tough side games to do - mostly hide and seek related. He was given one of those yesterday - and clearly told he could do THAT or put the game up. When it got hard? He plainted for 'where are my other games?' and when thwarted, quit and started up the oldest one, the old Ruby Advance game still in the DS.
He lost the DS for the rest of the day. He cried. I hugged him, told him he had disobeyed me and done exactly what I had told him not to do. And he got caught. Then put him down and showed him all his other toys. The crocodile tears ended pretty quick. ^^
I've also introduced him to the online games as an alternative. They really are more hand-eye and less battle-oriented, plus you get strokes for being smart as opposed to having the biggest stick in your hand.
Time to redirect the focus.
I've also noticed kid attempting to see what would happen if he got destructive - which is new for him - and I have to believe it's coming from a good place, not a bad one. I didn't have the toddler that opened jars of powder and goo and spread them all over everything, or drew on the walls with markers or snapped all the CDs. But I think I will have the kindergardener who will poke holes in things with other things to see if it's possible. Stick fingers in sliding doors. Matches? Are all out of reach because those are MAGIC. No, not so much and we'll get there soon, kid.
This morning's car ride to daycare involved chatter about reading street addresses, rockets, spilling chocolate milk on yourself and eating your breakfast before we get there. Also, put your rocket up with your lunchbox while you're eating - and if I break it, I'm going to get a big timeout, you betcha.
What a difference.
Also, identifying Mommy and Daddy now has the filip of Mommy and Daddy are Jim and Donna as opposed to being new Mommy and Daddy. Foster Mommy and Daddy are now clearer in his head - and to him, right now? They were his first family. The idea of there being any others isn't there yet. And I think it'll be after age 8 or so before that really 'takes' as a concept, developmentally. I can see the glints of it already - I mean, the whole idea of telling me somebody else said it was okay? So smart, kid. Go ahead and try that again. Right on target.
He's having fun figuring out grandparents right now. Who is what, and who is older and all that. For me, not being constantly at odds with him is a relief beyond measure. Dad still has a ways to get here, but for now? The constant is you don't try it with Mom. And plainting for Dad when Mom has said No only gets you more of Mom and less of Dad. Not a popularity contest, this parenting gig.
But I can do more with less vocal volume and physical stuff - and by that, I mean sitting him in time out, or moving him away from what he was told not to. This kid was spanked - finding that out what not happy making because in those few instances when it was a life level error - and you DO get physical - the reaction was a shock. 'Oh, you mean it then? Okay.' Instant compliance. WTF. Kid, I am not supposed to WIN, here.
That, coupled with instant aggressive behavior after watching Power Rangers (we'd had to take it off the viewing list TWICE now), anything martial arts related, etc.? I have a very competitive little boy who is measuring himself up on that scale - which again, is right on target. As I've said, I think I might just be 'getting' this kid - a bit. Martial Arts training? In a few years. And with a group that will work with me as tight as Jim does as a partner. I don't like your style, you are DONE. It'll be too important and pivotal.
They'd jolly well better do car washes and stuff. Just saying. And yes, I think he'll be very good at it. When we're above the age of reason, folks. Not until then.
Work in progress, moving forward and all that. So far, so good.
If you hear 'Mommy said I could - ' - um, guys. Mommy NEVER says he can do anything. For the record. That appears to be a line in my job description these days.
I'm also trying a different tact with the videogames and such - my kid aspires to be as big a Pokemon geek as his Dad, so trying to eliminate the games is really asking for more work with less returns in our environment. Yes, Dad finally beat him in a fair fight and the results were amazing. I had to remind Dad his kid is 5 and he's nearly 50. I had to hand out tea and sympathy to the kid. I then told kid Dad is *very* good at this and if he wanted to learn something, he needed to pay attention and not just get upset when Dad beat him (Soundly, I might add.) Dad can teach you a lot about this. You need to pay attention and not just try to win.
I've also tabled all final four runs for the time being - kid does them so often, he can do four of them in an hour. Using the same Pokemon constantly - with Jim's method (you buy enough stuff to keep your guys from fainting and grind grind grind), he's leveled up his favorites to 100. Guess what. Kid has ego issues - he likes winning. A lot.
Kid, you have other things to do. Trouble is, they're not as easy. The latest version actually has some pretty tough side games to do - mostly hide and seek related. He was given one of those yesterday - and clearly told he could do THAT or put the game up. When it got hard? He plainted for 'where are my other games?' and when thwarted, quit and started up the oldest one, the old Ruby Advance game still in the DS.
He lost the DS for the rest of the day. He cried. I hugged him, told him he had disobeyed me and done exactly what I had told him not to do. And he got caught. Then put him down and showed him all his other toys. The crocodile tears ended pretty quick. ^^
I've also introduced him to the online games as an alternative. They really are more hand-eye and less battle-oriented, plus you get strokes for being smart as opposed to having the biggest stick in your hand.
Time to redirect the focus.
I've also noticed kid attempting to see what would happen if he got destructive - which is new for him - and I have to believe it's coming from a good place, not a bad one. I didn't have the toddler that opened jars of powder and goo and spread them all over everything, or drew on the walls with markers or snapped all the CDs. But I think I will have the kindergardener who will poke holes in things with other things to see if it's possible. Stick fingers in sliding doors. Matches? Are all out of reach because those are MAGIC. No, not so much and we'll get there soon, kid.
This morning's car ride to daycare involved chatter about reading street addresses, rockets, spilling chocolate milk on yourself and eating your breakfast before we get there. Also, put your rocket up with your lunchbox while you're eating - and if I break it, I'm going to get a big timeout, you betcha.
What a difference.
Also, identifying Mommy and Daddy now has the filip of Mommy and Daddy are Jim and Donna as opposed to being new Mommy and Daddy. Foster Mommy and Daddy are now clearer in his head - and to him, right now? They were his first family. The idea of there being any others isn't there yet. And I think it'll be after age 8 or so before that really 'takes' as a concept, developmentally. I can see the glints of it already - I mean, the whole idea of telling me somebody else said it was okay? So smart, kid. Go ahead and try that again. Right on target.
He's having fun figuring out grandparents right now. Who is what, and who is older and all that. For me, not being constantly at odds with him is a relief beyond measure. Dad still has a ways to get here, but for now? The constant is you don't try it with Mom. And plainting for Dad when Mom has said No only gets you more of Mom and less of Dad. Not a popularity contest, this parenting gig.
But I can do more with less vocal volume and physical stuff - and by that, I mean sitting him in time out, or moving him away from what he was told not to. This kid was spanked - finding that out what not happy making because in those few instances when it was a life level error - and you DO get physical - the reaction was a shock. 'Oh, you mean it then? Okay.' Instant compliance. WTF. Kid, I am not supposed to WIN, here.
That, coupled with instant aggressive behavior after watching Power Rangers (we'd had to take it off the viewing list TWICE now), anything martial arts related, etc.? I have a very competitive little boy who is measuring himself up on that scale - which again, is right on target. As I've said, I think I might just be 'getting' this kid - a bit. Martial Arts training? In a few years. And with a group that will work with me as tight as Jim does as a partner. I don't like your style, you are DONE. It'll be too important and pivotal.
They'd jolly well better do car washes and stuff. Just saying. And yes, I think he'll be very good at it. When we're above the age of reason, folks. Not until then.
Work in progress, moving forward and all that. So far, so good.
