Can it just work?
Jul. 26th, 2011 09:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kyburgSee icon. That's me, trying to deal with six year old with separation anxiety.
He hates school. Can't say I'm surprised, they aren't impressed at all with him either. He won't sit still, won't pay attention to directions, distracts himself by playing with his shoes, pestering the kid next to him, talking talking talking talking....
But give him a task, and he's all over it. Let him do worksheets - he loves it. But no, this is a summer session and that would be WORK. Their idea of a summer break is going to be the end of us.
He's been benched from ever leaving the school on a field trip again. That's nearly $200 down the drain because - ta da! - it's his fault. (Yes, you have to pay for field trips. Why yes, yes we did. In advance. Why wouldn't we?)
I take him to Kaiser - they look at age, gender, starting kindergarden and disregard the parents telling the LCSW about the international adoption at age 3.5? Yanno, the one that scared him shitless? THAT ONE?
Oh no. ADHD. Go sign up for parenting classes, you dumbass. And get ready to start drugging your kid, some of them actually do well as adults. Hope you were expecting to institutionalize him at some point. Get out. Your turn is over, there's somebody waiting outside. Scram.
Welcome to becoming a statistic.
And he's still scared.
The next thing you hear is 'make sure you're taking care of yourself - you need to get respite!' Suuuuure. My kid is so uncertain about where his parents are, he's checking to see when my next church meeting is. Which is once a month or so. When's the next one, Mom? Now? Now?
I'm about glued to him as it is, and I don't dare go far. And I'm the one he hates.
He about comes unglued every time Jim leaves the room. Since he leaves first in the morning, and I take kid to school four days a week? I have a kid ready to run after the car every day, even though I'm sitting right there. 9 times out of 10, I'm also the only one insisting that shush means shush (not talk louder to be heard), so I am also not the Nice One. He wants Daddy. Well, shit kid so do I.
The motor mouth when tired. The yackity yack in bed once he's been put there. The lack of napping, so I have a bucket of bolts at the end of the day. No cope. None. No television, nothing. No fun at all.
This morning, he woke up tantruming. Fired us all. Said everyone was mean to him. I replied that when he didn't behave, he was the meanest one in the room. Meant it. The tantrum? Get up, put your toys back on your bed and get dressed. I put the toys back. Oh, the humanity.
He remembers everything. The clarity of process in this kid really dissuades me from jumping back to the hyperactivity bandwagon. It also makes me wonder how much he remembers prior to adoption, and what exactly happened.
The being cute to get out of it makes me wonder most of all. Did they try to place him prior to us, and it failed because he wouldn't behave? All he had to do was what he's doing now - and voila, back with foster parents. You remember, the ones he cried nine months for and begged us to return him to? Those parents.
The amount of work right now, just trying to get services in - and making sure he stays in a school setting right now? All hands, the cook and any politician I can drag into the fray. Really.
He's still scared. And I'm so angry I can barely think straight.
He hates school. Can't say I'm surprised, they aren't impressed at all with him either. He won't sit still, won't pay attention to directions, distracts himself by playing with his shoes, pestering the kid next to him, talking talking talking talking....
But give him a task, and he's all over it. Let him do worksheets - he loves it. But no, this is a summer session and that would be WORK. Their idea of a summer break is going to be the end of us.
He's been benched from ever leaving the school on a field trip again. That's nearly $200 down the drain because - ta da! - it's his fault. (Yes, you have to pay for field trips. Why yes, yes we did. In advance. Why wouldn't we?)
I take him to Kaiser - they look at age, gender, starting kindergarden and disregard the parents telling the LCSW about the international adoption at age 3.5? Yanno, the one that scared him shitless? THAT ONE?
Oh no. ADHD. Go sign up for parenting classes, you dumbass. And get ready to start drugging your kid, some of them actually do well as adults. Hope you were expecting to institutionalize him at some point. Get out. Your turn is over, there's somebody waiting outside. Scram.
Welcome to becoming a statistic.
And he's still scared.
The next thing you hear is 'make sure you're taking care of yourself - you need to get respite!' Suuuuure. My kid is so uncertain about where his parents are, he's checking to see when my next church meeting is. Which is once a month or so. When's the next one, Mom? Now? Now?
I'm about glued to him as it is, and I don't dare go far. And I'm the one he hates.
He about comes unglued every time Jim leaves the room. Since he leaves first in the morning, and I take kid to school four days a week? I have a kid ready to run after the car every day, even though I'm sitting right there. 9 times out of 10, I'm also the only one insisting that shush means shush (not talk louder to be heard), so I am also not the Nice One. He wants Daddy. Well, shit kid so do I.
The motor mouth when tired. The yackity yack in bed once he's been put there. The lack of napping, so I have a bucket of bolts at the end of the day. No cope. None. No television, nothing. No fun at all.
This morning, he woke up tantruming. Fired us all. Said everyone was mean to him. I replied that when he didn't behave, he was the meanest one in the room. Meant it. The tantrum? Get up, put your toys back on your bed and get dressed. I put the toys back. Oh, the humanity.
He remembers everything. The clarity of process in this kid really dissuades me from jumping back to the hyperactivity bandwagon. It also makes me wonder how much he remembers prior to adoption, and what exactly happened.
The being cute to get out of it makes me wonder most of all. Did they try to place him prior to us, and it failed because he wouldn't behave? All he had to do was what he's doing now - and voila, back with foster parents. You remember, the ones he cried nine months for and begged us to return him to? Those parents.
The amount of work right now, just trying to get services in - and making sure he stays in a school setting right now? All hands, the cook and any politician I can drag into the fray. Really.
He's still scared. And I'm so angry I can barely think straight.
