Yanno -

Dec. 12th, 2003 01:12 pm
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[personal profile] kyburg
There is a couple of things I won't do to myself. One, which I hadn't even thought about it, was referring to myself as a diagnosis. "I'm this, I'm that, I have blah, I'm - whatever."

I refer to myself in the "label" terms only when it's shorthand for when I have to explain How I Know What I Know in a hurry.

I'm a nurse's daughter, a diabetic's widow. I'm a young widow. I'm the leading edge of GenX (Sis is the Boomer...I'm not). I'm a geek, a wirehead, a nerd. Oh, well.

But I've never explained myself in terms of "having" something - to explain why or how something came together. Heaven knows, I've had clinical depression a time or two. But I never explained my behavior away based on it and blew it off.

If I had depression, I treated it. I sure as hell don't let it define me. If I am stressed, I look to what is bothering me. If I am angry, I can point to the source of it. If someone socks me in the face, there is nothing out there to justify it.

Not this, not that, not the other.

Every action with an equal and opposite reaction. No more, no less. I don't file any of it under "it's my fault because I'm blonde."

I don't understand how anyone could do that to themselves. I can screw up - hell, everyone has a 12% error rate. "I was human, and that's how I made the mistake."

Wrong only when you don't learn something from it.

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