One for sharing -

[kyburg]

not_hothead_yet provides one of the nicest examples of adoption I've read to date - from the adoptee's point of view:

While my birth-mother was busy living her own life and mostly ignoring me, my (step)mother was raising me and guiding me through life with the patience of a saint, the wisdom of a crone and the love only a mother can give. The women who has remained with my father after 32 years of marriage is my mother. THe woman who birthed me, well, she's a decent person I suppose after all these years but that's about all I can say about her...So, no, I was not adopted. I adopted her.

If you don't recognize it, that's acceptance, understanding and love for both of the women responsible for her existence.

It's nice.

Comments

[springdew.livejournal.com]

I dunno, she sounds a little resentful about her birthmom, but after reading the story, I can certainly understand.

As a birthmom myself, it kind of hurts a bit but my son's story is nothing like not_hothead_yet's, and I released him for adoption out of immense love. I hope he understands that.

As a step-daughter, I understand, because my step-mom was amazing and loving and accepting and really everything I needed from a mother when my birthmom was distant and lost.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

There's nothing wrong with being honest, which I believe she was being -

And there is nothing wrong with "choosing" who you wish to be your parent, particularly if it is the one who did the work, deserves the title and earned the love by being that parent through good and bad.

Because you got stuck with an incompetent for a parent, does not mean you have to keep them exclusively as a parent. There are lots of people who claim that only a blood bond can ensure the love of a parent. I maintain depending on that exclusively can ruin a perfectly good human being by ignorance.

I liked her story. We should try and see if sithdragon will tell hers again. They celebrate both her birthday, AND the day they brought her home to be their daughter - and would tell her lovingly about how they remembered who got to feed her first, who she spat up on - everything.

And don't forget - it's not always parents and children who form families. We make family groups out what we have at hand - it might be a clan of sibs, but who would say it wasn't a family?