In other news -

[kyburg]

Yeah, I made Lifetime Sunday. I took Jim with me to the meeting where I was made much of, had my picture taken and was gifted with the last charm in my WW collection and a bouquet of flowers.

Oh, that and a new membership card and record card. I don't have to go back unless I want to. I never have to pay again, as long as I don't gain more than two pounds over my goal weight. (If I do, eh, I pay one week's fees.) But they recommend, and they want me to, check in at least once a month. Okay.

Probably the irony of the thing is I was still losing, even on maintenance. That, I think will change as I do a couple of things; try to get off my BP medication (which is a diuretic) and add exercise.

Results not typical and all that bullshit aside, this was not the hardest thing I've ever done - and you know I would have been bitching and moaning a whole lot more if it had been, don't you think? What was key?

Follow the directions. Seriously. Put your own "I don't wannas" to the side and just follow the directions. You want to kick and punch about missing out on all the hot fudge sundaes you can put down in a 24 hour period, you're missing the point. Oh, and look - smoke from other fires - while we're at it.

There's nothing noble about depriving yourself. And nothing loving about eating yourself into stupor, either. All I wanted to find out was what was enough, since I'd gotten into the habit of over-feeding both Cliff and I over those years when it was damned difficult to get him to eat. I've never had a really good ethic in that regard - remember, I'm the one who was 95 lbs at one point at this height - and I grew up hungry. I went through most of my adolescence without having lunch - there was never anything one could pack in a bag and take with. (Ask - and I'll tell you what life is like with a step-father in the wholesale meat business. And no microwave ovens. Everything is in the freezer and is a roast. You pack that for lunch in fifteen minutes or less. No? Why yes, I went hungry. Bow bow bow....) So - I either went without, or foundered. Being able to eat anything I wanted, in quantity? Was a badge of reaching adulthood, independence and success.

All I needed to learn was when enough was enough. Period, end subject. Anything else isn't really important - and has to be addressed as a separate issue.

Really good food is a really big pleasure - I'm with zoethe, though. If it ain't absolutely delicious, it doesn't need to be in my mouth. Life has a lot of pleasures in it - eating is just one of them.

I needed a better education, and I went out and got it. Nothing more, nothing less. I can eat anything anyone else walking around can - I will consciously not eat a number of things, knowing what I know at this point. That's not being "on a diet." I eat much more deliberately that most folks, but I do love eating - just like everyone else.

Point in fact was that yesterday, I called up friends and went out to Curry House for late lunch. And then strolled through Little Tokyo, snacking a bit as we went.

In the old days, I would have gotten extra snacks to take home for "later" - and you can guess the rest. Yesterday, one serving and boy was that good.

And that was plenty. I have some shopping to do at Trader Joes for this week, and the items on the list aren't what they were a year ago - but they're all things I really like, and no - I'm not missing anything.

But it's like I have to say that. And be convincing about it. Because...well, nobody succeeds and is happy if they're losing weight. It's unnatural. Cats and dogs living together and so on, unnatural.

Let me add a couple of things to that pile.

I didn't go to the gym. I didn't buy a treadmill. I didn't add walking or anything to my regime.

No, I saved that for finishing up - because I found out early on that adding exercise stalled the weight loss. I watched, I tested and that was the one constant. So, I just did my points - didn't skip any, mind - and voila.

No, I'm not typical - but I did get the job done, against everything - I guess - it happening.

It just did. I just followed the directions. Every day, and if I hated it? I promised myself I'd think about it tomorrow. But today, I had to do it - and you wouldn't believe how easy it was to keep going when I got on the scale the next day and saw the weight coming off. Tomorrow always came - and went - and I got what I wanted out of the program, and no - it wasn't the end of the world that the Snickers bars stayed in the vending machines. (I also played a lot of video games instead of snacked. Hee.)

I eat deliberately. It's easy, after managing a diabetic for 15 years. You measure everything, weigh when you don't use measuring cups and keep track of what goes in, to predict what comes out and how much insulin to give.

Keeping track of points is a cakewalk compared to that. Do I keep track in my head? Well, I do now - after checking my work and going back to journaling until I got it right. It took practice to do.

But it wasn't hard. Hard, I reserve for things like singing on key. Learning a foreign language - or a programming language.

I still have my cookbook collection. And eat chocolate.

And weigh about 135 lbs.

Yay me.

Your mileage may vary.