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kyburgThis whole process, from trying to get pregnant to being pregnant, has been a challenge for us. The first doctor we approached was a reproductive endocrinologist. He was shocked by our situation and told me to shave my facial hair. After a $300 consultation, he reluctantly performed my initial checkups. He then required us to see the clinic’s psychologist to see if we were fit to bring a child into this world and consulted with the ethics board of his hospital. A few months and a couple thousand dollars later, he told us that he would no longer treat us, saying he and his staff felt uncomfortable working with “someone like me.”
What's the deal?
No, Mom's not a lesbian.
Mom's a transgendered man. Legally male.
Hardly the first case I've known of. While I put aside some very basic 'yeah, entitled much?' reaction to this, my larger gut check is the basic assumption they're both making that this kid is going to have Mom and Dad and happily ever after.
Until 'they' wants to go find their biological father. Which they are completely within their right to want, need and have.
*facepalms*
In the midst of 'can we do this?' - why, why, WHY is there no realization of basic biological rights being breached here on the part of the kid they are so anxious to have?
I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm saying there's some real basic 'I got mine, screw you' involved here...with their own kid!
You think sealed adoptions do some really tweaked things with identity...just get me started on pregnancy by donor.
Yes, I investigated it while Cliff was alive. And was rocked off my feet.
If I had so chose -
Nobody would have known if any children resultant? Weren't his. Even the birth certificate would have had his name on it, no mention of the pitch hitter. Anywhere. Original. Birth. Certificate. Full stop. Kid could have claimed survivor pension benefits, and nobody would have blinked. To age 18 and beyond, if in college. Wrap you head around that.
Yes, I was interested in donors who could be contacted, primarily. Holy chrome. Like I would take that away. Keep that a secret. (I hate secrets. I'm lazy that way.)
I haven't had a lot of first-hand experience with these "half-adoptees" - but there are plenty out there in the blogsphere. And as you might expect, the ones who have the most to say - are also the ones most in pain.
The records on their biological fathers simply weren't kept well enough to find later. Like my mother's records while she was pregnant with my sibs - we can't know exactly if we're all DES kids or not. Maybe Sis and I. Maybe just Sis.
There's no original birth certificate. There's no adoption record, sealed or unsealed. There's nothing - and all of a sudden, the appeal of going that route just vaporized.
There's no way they're going to keep this a secret. Reproductive tech is good, but it can't make an embryo with two eggs. Not yet.
This feels like it might be a continuing series. I hope so. I also hope they discuss this at some point, and how they plan to handle it. Someone made them jump through some counseling hoops - and then dropped them like a hot rock (know that one personally, at least) - this is a valid concern.
But new? First transgendered man to carry a pregnancy? PLEASE.
I ain't naming names...unless they come forward on their own. But there's at least one on my FL. Maybe two.
What's the deal?
No, Mom's not a lesbian.
Mom's a transgendered man. Legally male.
Hardly the first case I've known of. While I put aside some very basic 'yeah, entitled much?' reaction to this, my larger gut check is the basic assumption they're both making that this kid is going to have Mom and Dad and happily ever after.
Until 'they' wants to go find their biological father. Which they are completely within their right to want, need and have.
*facepalms*
In the midst of 'can we do this?' - why, why, WHY is there no realization of basic biological rights being breached here on the part of the kid they are so anxious to have?
I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm saying there's some real basic 'I got mine, screw you' involved here...with their own kid!
You think sealed adoptions do some really tweaked things with identity...just get me started on pregnancy by donor.
Yes, I investigated it while Cliff was alive. And was rocked off my feet.
If I had so chose -
Nobody would have known if any children resultant? Weren't his. Even the birth certificate would have had his name on it, no mention of the pitch hitter. Anywhere. Original. Birth. Certificate. Full stop. Kid could have claimed survivor pension benefits, and nobody would have blinked. To age 18 and beyond, if in college. Wrap you head around that.
Yes, I was interested in donors who could be contacted, primarily. Holy chrome. Like I would take that away. Keep that a secret. (I hate secrets. I'm lazy that way.)
I haven't had a lot of first-hand experience with these "half-adoptees" - but there are plenty out there in the blogsphere. And as you might expect, the ones who have the most to say - are also the ones most in pain.
The records on their biological fathers simply weren't kept well enough to find later. Like my mother's records while she was pregnant with my sibs - we can't know exactly if we're all DES kids or not. Maybe Sis and I. Maybe just Sis.
There's no original birth certificate. There's no adoption record, sealed or unsealed. There's nothing - and all of a sudden, the appeal of going that route just vaporized.
There's no way they're going to keep this a secret. Reproductive tech is good, but it can't make an embryo with two eggs. Not yet.
This feels like it might be a continuing series. I hope so. I also hope they discuss this at some point, and how they plan to handle it. Someone made them jump through some counseling hoops - and then dropped them like a hot rock (know that one personally, at least) - this is a valid concern.
But new? First transgendered man to carry a pregnancy? PLEASE.
I ain't naming names...unless they come forward on their own. But there's at least one on my FL. Maybe two.
