Okay, I'll take it.
Jul. 14th, 2009 11:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kyburgSince my sister did not show up last week on Tuesday for that two hour need I have on a weekly basis to go out with Jim for a chat (code for something else, natch), I've heard nothing but little plaints for her from the boy. Hey, can't blame him - Sis comes in bringing nothing but wee toys, compliments and cuddles. We've had two of these sessions - he's totally smitten. I think this is Good - it shows attachment to us is at a place where New People aren't terrifying if we say they're okay.
The fact she forgot last Tuesday and just didn't show was also par for the course. *facesmacks* I checked with Jim - we both heard we were a lock. She heard not so much and didn't call us when she had something else that timeslot. Same old, same old. Follow up, follow up, make sure and then check again.
After working at reaching her most of the week, I called in a favor and took him over to her house last Sunday for some pool time (she has one in her backyard) - and to see just where he is with water safety. (And I could put my head back down on a Sunday.)
Not surprisingly, he was fearless in the water. With a lifevest and floaties, you could -almost- consider him water-safe. Of course, that's not the case and swimming lessons are DEFINITELY a priority at this point (not to mention finding me something I can wear to get wet in and not die of mortification), but Sis spent hours with him in the pool and he has done nothing but plaint of her since. (Does this upset me? This is his legal guardian right now if something happens to both Jim and I. It's okay. Well. A little. Like, I know this is a cliche and everything, and it's amusing on a stabby level okay. I'd like to be plainted for like this, but I'd never hear it if I was in the same room, would I? Ergs. Right. Perspective. Got it. Yeah. Meep.)
To the good, put a mark on the wall. Last night, the kid ate something I cooked from scratch and asked for more of it this morning - meatballs!
Basically, meatloaf on skewers. It's amazing what that did for my confidence levels. It's the first thing that wasn't frozen out of a bag like fish sticks or chicken nuggets.
And we got an inflatable wading pool? Could swear Jim was about ready to EAT the kid while trying to blow the silly thing up last night. (Kid wants to get IN - Dad is trying to blow it UP - NO YOU CAN'T STAND ON THE #$%@! - )
But once it was up, filled with water and a very happy WET boy was in it? Well, the only thing left to do is SPLASH anyone in range. Jim - kinda was out of cope. Me? Hey, if I splash him, he gets to splash me back, street clothes or no. Oh dear ghads the squeals and laughter MUTUAL SPLASHING got. I had to go back in after getting soaked - because those meatballs were also ready to come out of the oven and then it was eating time...but what a boost. We had fun together - finally.
But THAT worries me a bit, because you never hand anything external that much of your self-worth...but wouldn't you know, that's just what happens when it's kids, isn't it?
You grade yourself on how well the kid does with stuffs involving you. And then how the whole becoming-a-parent effort has been the be-all and end-all of Life as I Know It? Oh, this isn't going to end well with a kid who is still coping with the loss of everything he's ever known. I'm having to rethink the whole focus of this effort - and high time.
Jim has also been getting a big taste of kid treating him like dirt - just like he was doing with me - and I'm dialing the levels back over to middle to give him a break, but I'm not above "reminding" Jim that he thought my reaction to this was just jealousy and not founded in anything the kid was actually doing to/with me. (And not to do that again.)
Still coughing up stuff. Still on antibiotics. Still go home and lay down as soon as I can.
Sis can't make it the next two Tuesdays -![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
catsonmars is coming over to do the two hour duty, which reminds me.
Need to confirm everything one more time.
More I look at this, the more I have to accept that we did not have a good adoption experience or the best start we could have gotten from the people we trusted to help us out with it.
And at the same time, I don't know if I would be any better at it than they were to warn the next ones to come along.
So it goes. And so it goes.
The fact she forgot last Tuesday and just didn't show was also par for the course. *facesmacks* I checked with Jim - we both heard we were a lock. She heard not so much and didn't call us when she had something else that timeslot. Same old, same old. Follow up, follow up, make sure and then check again.
After working at reaching her most of the week, I called in a favor and took him over to her house last Sunday for some pool time (she has one in her backyard) - and to see just where he is with water safety. (And I could put my head back down on a Sunday.)
Not surprisingly, he was fearless in the water. With a lifevest and floaties, you could -almost- consider him water-safe. Of course, that's not the case and swimming lessons are DEFINITELY a priority at this point (not to mention finding me something I can wear to get wet in and not die of mortification), but Sis spent hours with him in the pool and he has done nothing but plaint of her since. (Does this upset me? This is his legal guardian right now if something happens to both Jim and I. It's okay. Well. A little. Like, I know this is a cliche and everything, and it's amusing on a stabby level okay. I'd like to be plainted for like this, but I'd never hear it if I was in the same room, would I? Ergs. Right. Perspective. Got it. Yeah. Meep.)
To the good, put a mark on the wall. Last night, the kid ate something I cooked from scratch and asked for more of it this morning - meatballs!
Basically, meatloaf on skewers. It's amazing what that did for my confidence levels. It's the first thing that wasn't frozen out of a bag like fish sticks or chicken nuggets.
And we got an inflatable wading pool? Could swear Jim was about ready to EAT the kid while trying to blow the silly thing up last night. (Kid wants to get IN - Dad is trying to blow it UP - NO YOU CAN'T STAND ON THE #$%@! - )
But once it was up, filled with water and a very happy WET boy was in it? Well, the only thing left to do is SPLASH anyone in range. Jim - kinda was out of cope. Me? Hey, if I splash him, he gets to splash me back, street clothes or no. Oh dear ghads the squeals and laughter MUTUAL SPLASHING got. I had to go back in after getting soaked - because those meatballs were also ready to come out of the oven and then it was eating time...but what a boost. We had fun together - finally.
But THAT worries me a bit, because you never hand anything external that much of your self-worth...but wouldn't you know, that's just what happens when it's kids, isn't it?
You grade yourself on how well the kid does with stuffs involving you. And then how the whole becoming-a-parent effort has been the be-all and end-all of Life as I Know It? Oh, this isn't going to end well with a kid who is still coping with the loss of everything he's ever known. I'm having to rethink the whole focus of this effort - and high time.
Jim has also been getting a big taste of kid treating him like dirt - just like he was doing with me - and I'm dialing the levels back over to middle to give him a break, but I'm not above "reminding" Jim that he thought my reaction to this was just jealousy and not founded in anything the kid was actually doing to/with me. (And not to do that again.)
Still coughing up stuff. Still on antibiotics. Still go home and lay down as soon as I can.
Sis can't make it the next two Tuesdays -
catsonmars is coming over to do the two hour duty, which reminds me.Need to confirm everything one more time.
More I look at this, the more I have to accept that we did not have a good adoption experience or the best start we could have gotten from the people we trusted to help us out with it.
And at the same time, I don't know if I would be any better at it than they were to warn the next ones to come along.
So it goes. And so it goes.
