Dear God, Don't Let Me Screw This Up
Oct. 13th, 2010 03:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kyburgI'm really getting typical about this whole parenting thing.
I'm just as aghast and petrified as anyone else. *laughs*
There are days when just the one is exhausting, and then there are days I wish I had a dozen so I had more of a sample to work with when trying to figure out 'is this too much or not enough?'
My great and expansive experience. *laughs harder*
Oh, this is so typical. Ask anyone who has had kids. People just flap their hands and laugh at me, so I guess I'm fine.
Right now, I have a kid hitting developmental milestones right on or six months early, like clockwork. Including developing a sense of 'oh, I can not tell you the truth and trick you!' which he finds incredibly entertaining - keep in mind, this age is approaching reason, but doesn't have it yet. This is all still a game, and magic still works and make-believe and reality are one and the same. Tricking you is FUN, but there's nothing reasoned about it.
And oh, it's literal. So very, very literal.
That doesn't mean I'm not stressing a bit about teaching through it. Calling someone a name in jest is the same as doing it in anger - so why doesn't everyone get in trouble every time they do it? (Calling Dad a poopyhead when you get thwarted is different than when Dad calls other people on the road twits when driving - or is it? Hmm.)
He's also trying out new ways to make us cave, which includes tears and wailing which doesn't help. Gosh, someone else got a tasty snack right in front of us that we couldn't have the other day - you would have thought that no goodies EVAR got consumed at our house! Oliver Twist, the works. Did we go back later? Of course! (I promised, like the wussie wuss I am.) Tasty snack, yo.
I'm trying to remember when I was this age. It's not even a fair comparison. I'm remembering things like tincture of green soap and band-aids that left adhesives behind. I had two older siblings, one younger one and didn't go to preschool. There even were no houses next to mine - and walking a quarter of a mile unescorted was just fine.
I got spanked a lot. I don't remember sitting in the corner. I remember staying awake through naptime, expected to stay in bed and stare at the ceiling - but nobody checked on me. I certainly remember getting in BIG trouble if I got out of bed and went into my parent's room at night.
I'd had stitches already. I'd had the nightlight incident that left me scarred and missing 50% of my lower lip. (I'm still thinking I might ask the Grossman Burn Center for an evaluation someday, it's that kind of injury.)
I'd dropped a rock the size of a football on my foot, attempting a drop-kick (uh, materials lesson much?) and removed the nail off one toe. Who brought me in to get checked? Older brother. Who'd saved me from electrocution? Older brother.
I'd spent a whole lot more time on my own with my siblings, to be honest, than parents.
So this is different. In ways I don't have any depth.
They tell you if you have any question if what you're doing is the right thing - when in doubt, nurture. Kid acting out? Nurture. Kid demonstrating attention-seeking behaviors? Give kid MORE attention (of the right kind, mind). Kid doing stuff you don't like? Praise like HECK the stuff he does you do like. And just hang in there and be as consistent as you can, and hang tough.
It must be love. I tell ya.
I'm just as aghast and petrified as anyone else. *laughs*
There are days when just the one is exhausting, and then there are days I wish I had a dozen so I had more of a sample to work with when trying to figure out 'is this too much or not enough?'
My great and expansive experience. *laughs harder*
Oh, this is so typical. Ask anyone who has had kids. People just flap their hands and laugh at me, so I guess I'm fine.
Right now, I have a kid hitting developmental milestones right on or six months early, like clockwork. Including developing a sense of 'oh, I can not tell you the truth and trick you!' which he finds incredibly entertaining - keep in mind, this age is approaching reason, but doesn't have it yet. This is all still a game, and magic still works and make-believe and reality are one and the same. Tricking you is FUN, but there's nothing reasoned about it.
And oh, it's literal. So very, very literal.
That doesn't mean I'm not stressing a bit about teaching through it. Calling someone a name in jest is the same as doing it in anger - so why doesn't everyone get in trouble every time they do it? (Calling Dad a poopyhead when you get thwarted is different than when Dad calls other people on the road twits when driving - or is it? Hmm.)
He's also trying out new ways to make us cave, which includes tears and wailing which doesn't help. Gosh, someone else got a tasty snack right in front of us that we couldn't have the other day - you would have thought that no goodies EVAR got consumed at our house! Oliver Twist, the works. Did we go back later? Of course! (I promised, like the wussie wuss I am.) Tasty snack, yo.
I'm trying to remember when I was this age. It's not even a fair comparison. I'm remembering things like tincture of green soap and band-aids that left adhesives behind. I had two older siblings, one younger one and didn't go to preschool. There even were no houses next to mine - and walking a quarter of a mile unescorted was just fine.
I got spanked a lot. I don't remember sitting in the corner. I remember staying awake through naptime, expected to stay in bed and stare at the ceiling - but nobody checked on me. I certainly remember getting in BIG trouble if I got out of bed and went into my parent's room at night.
I'd had stitches already. I'd had the nightlight incident that left me scarred and missing 50% of my lower lip. (I'm still thinking I might ask the Grossman Burn Center for an evaluation someday, it's that kind of injury.)
I'd dropped a rock the size of a football on my foot, attempting a drop-kick (uh, materials lesson much?) and removed the nail off one toe. Who brought me in to get checked? Older brother. Who'd saved me from electrocution? Older brother.
I'd spent a whole lot more time on my own with my siblings, to be honest, than parents.
So this is different. In ways I don't have any depth.
They tell you if you have any question if what you're doing is the right thing - when in doubt, nurture. Kid acting out? Nurture. Kid demonstrating attention-seeking behaviors? Give kid MORE attention (of the right kind, mind). Kid doing stuff you don't like? Praise like HECK the stuff he does you do like. And just hang in there and be as consistent as you can, and hang tough.
It must be love. I tell ya.
