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kyburgsolarcat:
bugggoo:
breezy-kishinslayer:
bugggoo:
kerryrenaissance:
mashingitlikegailthesnail:
thehungryhungryhooker:
whataneclecticbunch27:
prokopetz:
rudecanadian:
prokopetz:
While we’re on the subject of gross attitudes toward sexual assault in the tabletop roleplaying community, I’d like to briefly address a point here without derailing anybody else’s discussion.
Folks frequently react with incredulity when I remark that I know more women who’ve been driven out of the tabletop roleplaying hobby by sexual harassment and sexual assault than I do who currently participate in it, and while a big part of that is the broader atmosphere of skepticism toward women’s experiences, I think another part of it is a matter of definitions.
There are a lot of women, both in the hobby and currently out of it, who’ve had the experience of having an NPC - or, in extreme cases, another player character - sexually assault her character. For many, this is the breaking point that drove them out of the hobby in the first place.
Now, I want you to think carefully about this question: is coercing someone into roleplaying being sexually assaulted by you itself an act of sexual assault?
No, because it’s fictional. Should my girlfriend be arrested for torching an entire town? Only in the RP, where she is by and far the craziest woman I know.
The distinction you’re missing here is this: roleplaying torching a town is not, itself an act of arson, but roleplaying a graphic sex scene is, itself, a sexual act. If a dude wants you to act out a scene of sexual violence with him in the role of the aggressor, while a bunch of other guys watch, and he won’t take no for an answer… well, do the math and see what that adds up to.
(And to be clear, this isn’t some bizarre hypothetical - it happens all the time to ladies in this hobby. Just look at the notes on this very post!)
I was 17 and at my first DnD session at my local nerd shop where 40 minutes in my halfling paladin was raped by an orc. Its five years later and I’m only just starting to work myself up to playing DnD with a few friends again. Yes, I do think its an act of sexual violence.
Omg! I used to love DnD but the group I played with kept hitting on my character, do the next campaign I made a lesbian character and she got raped! I quit going after that, and the DM was furious with me and kept calling me. I have no desire to play DnD ever again; it’s too open world.
1 of my friends avoided DnD for YEARS because the first time they played, the other players raped their character & laughed about it.. They were the only non male in the room & their character was the only female character.
It sends a message to ppl who aren’t cis guys that these games aren’t for you & you can’t escape the threat of sexual violence even in fantasy spaces.
“It’s fictional” is a piss poor excuse for forcing someone to engage in your sexual fantasy when they don’t want to – or even for flirting with them in-game if they’ve made their lack of interest clear. You’re engaging with real people, even if the characters and setting aren’t real.
It may not be an arrestable crime (and is that all that matters to you?) but it can still be a traumatizing experience. And it indicates you aren’t safe to be around, if you do these things or allow them to happen.
Thank God all my groups were pretty diverse. We had a good number of women and men and nonbinary and trans ppl in college (and my group before that was pretty small, and was close friends of mine).
I had no idea that it was like this. Jesus. The biggest thing I had to deal with was one of the party members had a habit of lighting me on fire
This is why im afraid to try
Start your own group with your friends you’re comfortable with might work
The part of it that makes it terrifying and drives women away is exactly the kind of justifying men do to argue that “it’s not real!” and therefore is okay. If the first thing men can think of to do with a female character is rape her, then the women (or, more likely, woman) at the table is confronted with the very real possibility that that’s simply what those men think to do to women, period. If they all agree that this is The Thing To Do in the game, and laugh about it and make up reasons to justify it… Yeah, it’s a game, but it tells you something about the people playing it, and that’s sending a very scary message.
I think (after hours and hours of yawn-breaking boredom) when my character actually tried to do something and THAT came up…I really just looked around the table and said “are you kidding?” And found something else to do. Balling yarn listening to Lawrence Welk muzak had more appeal. Booooooring!
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bugggoo:
breezy-kishinslayer:
bugggoo:
kerryrenaissance:
mashingitlikegailthesnail:
thehungryhungryhooker:
whataneclecticbunch27:
prokopetz:
rudecanadian:
prokopetz:
While we’re on the subject of gross attitudes toward sexual assault in the tabletop roleplaying community, I’d like to briefly address a point here without derailing anybody else’s discussion.
Folks frequently react with incredulity when I remark that I know more women who’ve been driven out of the tabletop roleplaying hobby by sexual harassment and sexual assault than I do who currently participate in it, and while a big part of that is the broader atmosphere of skepticism toward women’s experiences, I think another part of it is a matter of definitions.
There are a lot of women, both in the hobby and currently out of it, who’ve had the experience of having an NPC - or, in extreme cases, another player character - sexually assault her character. For many, this is the breaking point that drove them out of the hobby in the first place.
Now, I want you to think carefully about this question: is coercing someone into roleplaying being sexually assaulted by you itself an act of sexual assault?
No, because it’s fictional. Should my girlfriend be arrested for torching an entire town? Only in the RP, where she is by and far the craziest woman I know.
The distinction you’re missing here is this: roleplaying torching a town is not, itself an act of arson, but roleplaying a graphic sex scene is, itself, a sexual act. If a dude wants you to act out a scene of sexual violence with him in the role of the aggressor, while a bunch of other guys watch, and he won’t take no for an answer… well, do the math and see what that adds up to.
(And to be clear, this isn’t some bizarre hypothetical - it happens all the time to ladies in this hobby. Just look at the notes on this very post!)
I was 17 and at my first DnD session at my local nerd shop where 40 minutes in my halfling paladin was raped by an orc. Its five years later and I’m only just starting to work myself up to playing DnD with a few friends again. Yes, I do think its an act of sexual violence.
Omg! I used to love DnD but the group I played with kept hitting on my character, do the next campaign I made a lesbian character and she got raped! I quit going after that, and the DM was furious with me and kept calling me. I have no desire to play DnD ever again; it’s too open world.
1 of my friends avoided DnD for YEARS because the first time they played, the other players raped their character & laughed about it.. They were the only non male in the room & their character was the only female character.
It sends a message to ppl who aren’t cis guys that these games aren’t for you & you can’t escape the threat of sexual violence even in fantasy spaces.
“It’s fictional” is a piss poor excuse for forcing someone to engage in your sexual fantasy when they don’t want to – or even for flirting with them in-game if they’ve made their lack of interest clear. You’re engaging with real people, even if the characters and setting aren’t real.
It may not be an arrestable crime (and is that all that matters to you?) but it can still be a traumatizing experience. And it indicates you aren’t safe to be around, if you do these things or allow them to happen.
Thank God all my groups were pretty diverse. We had a good number of women and men and nonbinary and trans ppl in college (and my group before that was pretty small, and was close friends of mine).
I had no idea that it was like this. Jesus. The biggest thing I had to deal with was one of the party members had a habit of lighting me on fire
This is why im afraid to try
Start your own group with your friends you’re comfortable with might work
The part of it that makes it terrifying and drives women away is exactly the kind of justifying men do to argue that “it’s not real!” and therefore is okay. If the first thing men can think of to do with a female character is rape her, then the women (or, more likely, woman) at the table is confronted with the very real possibility that that’s simply what those men think to do to women, period. If they all agree that this is The Thing To Do in the game, and laugh about it and make up reasons to justify it… Yeah, it’s a game, but it tells you something about the people playing it, and that’s sending a very scary message.
I think (after hours and hours of yawn-breaking boredom) when my character actually tried to do something and THAT came up…I really just looked around the table and said “are you kidding?” And found something else to do. Balling yarn listening to Lawrence Welk muzak had more appeal. Booooooring!
from Tumblr http://ift.tt/2akbDuE
via IFTTT
