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kyburgxturtletrashx:
plebcomics:
mewuniverse:
goldenarmoredsif:
iamryanhenly:
Parents should not be reading your journals
Parents should not be searching through your trash
Parents should not be snooping on your private social media messages
Parents should not be taking your bedroom door off
Parents should not be invading your privacy
If you have a history of depression and suicide attempts and showing signs of a relapse but are pulling away and shutting out your support. I will read your journal to see if I need to get you help you are not asking for.
If you have cut in the past and I think you may be doing so again but you are not seeking help. I will look for signs in every trash in the house.
If you have grown adults on you social media, that gives out personal information, who you can’t tell me where you met them but “it’s no big deal” or people who have harmed you in the past. I am going to look through that shit.
If you have self harmed in the past, threatened self harm, or I can hear you breaking shit in your room because you are having a mental breakdown and need help but don’t want it. I am coming in that damn room and no fucking door is going to stop me.
You get privacy when I get peace of mind that you are safe. Even if it is from yourself. Especially if it’s from yourself.
I would rather do it now and have you mad at me then have the cops doing it while I am putting you in the ground.
Sincerely,
A mother who has done everyone of these things and will not be sorry about it.
Basically, every child needs to be parented differently, and sometimes parents DO need to invade a kid’s privacy. There’s a difference between a parent helping their child not hurt themselves and a parent being overly controlling for no reason.
Sometimes parents forget what it’s like to be a kid and don’t realize what constitutes as an invasion of privacy, and what is checking in on your kid to make sure they’re okay. You figure as a parent, your kid has no boundaries because they’re YOUR kid, forgetting that they are individual people outside of being your child.
Meanwhile, kids will never understand what it’s like for a parent, to have your child withdraw from you and then proceed to engage in destructive behavior for whatever reason, and more often then not, get blamed for that destructive behavior. Kids will never understand the hurt and anger and frustration and helplessness that comes with parenting at times.
There are probably people who would read the above and throw themselves into a tantrum about how if you hate parenting so much, don’t have kids, or kids shouldn’t expect to have freedom because freedom is earned through both age and whatever arbitrary rules of respect you’ve established in your home. To those idiots I’d suggest, I dunno, volunteering at facilities that specialize in care for the behaviorally challenged and maybe reflect on how your shitty attitudes affect others.
Reblogging this now, because someone finally wrote the parent’s viewpoint on this. I couldn’t reblog it before because I’ve had to be ‘that parent’ in the past and this post made me feel like utter shit for trying to keep my child safe. There is a big difference between being a controlling dickhead and needing to make sure your suicidal teen is - and will stay - alive.
Hi. I’m the parent of your kid, when they stop being your kid. Because for whatever reason, they stopped being your kid. Abuse, neglect, domestic violence - mental illness? Addiction, gender issues - huge list.
Hi, I’m now your mom.
I have the right to keep you safe. That means I am going to know what goes in your body as food, water and medication, until you are 18. That’s my job. It will happen, I hope, with your consent and input. Depending on how old you are (up to 18), I will be giving you these things entirely, or letting you choose and I just follow along to see what you do. But I have to know. That’s my job.
I have the right to make sure you are safe with other people. That means I am going to know if you’re trolling on social media, until you are 18. I am going to know what you are doing at school. You’re going to know I’m doing it, and I am going to talk to you about it. Until you are 18, that’s my job.
If I take out your trash, I am going to know what’s in it.
If your room in my house and the door has to come off, it will.
I have as much privacy as you do. What you want to know about what I keep private is as much a topic of conversation as what happened to you before you got home today. (Trying to think about what I’d refuse to discuss. UM. NOPE.)
Anything I know, you can have. That’s my job. Resisting is yours.
Refusing self-care is not an option. Becoming violent or secretive for the sake of it is also off the list.
Being trusted is a privilege for you. Knowing you don’t trust me is a given, and satisfying your need to trust me is also my job. I have a few clues on what you want, and what you need. I will do my best to reassure you that I can be trusted, but letting you keep secrets that go against keeping you safe, and keeping you safe around others trumps what I want. I have to do my job.
When you hit 18, I can only hope you can be trusted with yourself because that’s when my job controlling/managing all these things ends. Maybe we’ll come out of this friends, but if not - I am only a parent, and you will no longer be a child. Up to that point - 17.99 years of age - you are, and I have to do my job.
When I hear a list that the OP uses above, I hear a lot of anger and betrayal, and that’s where this begins. My job as the parent who is now your parent when your first parent isn’t anymore is to teach you -
Accept. Not your fault, not magic. This is, it happened, no kidding.
Trust. I know my job, and I know yours. Let me do my job, and you can do yours, I’m expecting that from you.
Forgive. It’s not letting them off the hook, it’s letting you be free again. People get tired, angry, high, broke, overwhelmed and can’t parent. You don’t have to forget, but dammit - it’s okay to be like Elsa and let it go.
Model. Don’t like it? Don’t do it. Hopefully, I’ll be able to give you some clues.
I can only hope things got better.
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plebcomics:
mewuniverse:
goldenarmoredsif:
iamryanhenly:
Parents should not be reading your journals
Parents should not be searching through your trash
Parents should not be snooping on your private social media messages
Parents should not be taking your bedroom door off
Parents should not be invading your privacy
If you have a history of depression and suicide attempts and showing signs of a relapse but are pulling away and shutting out your support. I will read your journal to see if I need to get you help you are not asking for.
If you have cut in the past and I think you may be doing so again but you are not seeking help. I will look for signs in every trash in the house.
If you have grown adults on you social media, that gives out personal information, who you can’t tell me where you met them but “it’s no big deal” or people who have harmed you in the past. I am going to look through that shit.
If you have self harmed in the past, threatened self harm, or I can hear you breaking shit in your room because you are having a mental breakdown and need help but don’t want it. I am coming in that damn room and no fucking door is going to stop me.
You get privacy when I get peace of mind that you are safe. Even if it is from yourself. Especially if it’s from yourself.
I would rather do it now and have you mad at me then have the cops doing it while I am putting you in the ground.
Sincerely,
A mother who has done everyone of these things and will not be sorry about it.
Basically, every child needs to be parented differently, and sometimes parents DO need to invade a kid’s privacy. There’s a difference between a parent helping their child not hurt themselves and a parent being overly controlling for no reason.
Sometimes parents forget what it’s like to be a kid and don’t realize what constitutes as an invasion of privacy, and what is checking in on your kid to make sure they’re okay. You figure as a parent, your kid has no boundaries because they’re YOUR kid, forgetting that they are individual people outside of being your child.
Meanwhile, kids will never understand what it’s like for a parent, to have your child withdraw from you and then proceed to engage in destructive behavior for whatever reason, and more often then not, get blamed for that destructive behavior. Kids will never understand the hurt and anger and frustration and helplessness that comes with parenting at times.
There are probably people who would read the above and throw themselves into a tantrum about how if you hate parenting so much, don’t have kids, or kids shouldn’t expect to have freedom because freedom is earned through both age and whatever arbitrary rules of respect you’ve established in your home. To those idiots I’d suggest, I dunno, volunteering at facilities that specialize in care for the behaviorally challenged and maybe reflect on how your shitty attitudes affect others.
Reblogging this now, because someone finally wrote the parent’s viewpoint on this. I couldn’t reblog it before because I’ve had to be ‘that parent’ in the past and this post made me feel like utter shit for trying to keep my child safe. There is a big difference between being a controlling dickhead and needing to make sure your suicidal teen is - and will stay - alive.
Hi. I’m the parent of your kid, when they stop being your kid. Because for whatever reason, they stopped being your kid. Abuse, neglect, domestic violence - mental illness? Addiction, gender issues - huge list.
Hi, I’m now your mom.
I have the right to keep you safe. That means I am going to know what goes in your body as food, water and medication, until you are 18. That’s my job. It will happen, I hope, with your consent and input. Depending on how old you are (up to 18), I will be giving you these things entirely, or letting you choose and I just follow along to see what you do. But I have to know. That’s my job.
I have the right to make sure you are safe with other people. That means I am going to know if you’re trolling on social media, until you are 18. I am going to know what you are doing at school. You’re going to know I’m doing it, and I am going to talk to you about it. Until you are 18, that’s my job.
If I take out your trash, I am going to know what’s in it.
If your room in my house and the door has to come off, it will.
I have as much privacy as you do. What you want to know about what I keep private is as much a topic of conversation as what happened to you before you got home today. (Trying to think about what I’d refuse to discuss. UM. NOPE.)
Anything I know, you can have. That’s my job. Resisting is yours.
Refusing self-care is not an option. Becoming violent or secretive for the sake of it is also off the list.
Being trusted is a privilege for you. Knowing you don’t trust me is a given, and satisfying your need to trust me is also my job. I have a few clues on what you want, and what you need. I will do my best to reassure you that I can be trusted, but letting you keep secrets that go against keeping you safe, and keeping you safe around others trumps what I want. I have to do my job.
When you hit 18, I can only hope you can be trusted with yourself because that’s when my job controlling/managing all these things ends. Maybe we’ll come out of this friends, but if not - I am only a parent, and you will no longer be a child. Up to that point - 17.99 years of age - you are, and I have to do my job.
When I hear a list that the OP uses above, I hear a lot of anger and betrayal, and that’s where this begins. My job as the parent who is now your parent when your first parent isn’t anymore is to teach you -
Accept. Not your fault, not magic. This is, it happened, no kidding.
Trust. I know my job, and I know yours. Let me do my job, and you can do yours, I’m expecting that from you.
Forgive. It’s not letting them off the hook, it’s letting you be free again. People get tired, angry, high, broke, overwhelmed and can’t parent. You don’t have to forget, but dammit - it’s okay to be like Elsa and let it go.
Model. Don’t like it? Don’t do it. Hopefully, I’ll be able to give you some clues.
I can only hope things got better.
from Tumblr http://ift.tt/2bzKMgi
via IFTTT
