But in other news -
Jan. 9th, 2005 08:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kyburgWe call Jim's older brother to crow about our new cars. He tells us his SIL is in the hospital being worked up for pancreatic cancer - and the prognosis is poor.
I call up my friend Marian (she who has some of my anime collection because her husband has been so ill) - she's been in a car accident tonight. Why is she out in a night like this? Because her husband is back in the hospital, and this time it's untreatable. Lung cancer AND an aortic aneurysm as long as my arm - completely inoperable. He's coming up on ninety, and so far is comfortable in the hospital. But. This is on top of a massive, difficult to manage case of CHF and diabetes. Tough little old man, her husband. But that's at least three things that are immediately lethal, each by itself. She's working on all three at once. That's asking a lot.
No, I didn't go out into the rain this evening - I'm on vacation. I don't have to.
It's that whole circle of life thing again. It's to be expected - thy will be done and all that.
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caitlin went to a funeral today - and we continue to hear about tsunami victims, and all the dead in Iraq.
In the midst of life - we are in death, and so on.
I can understand the useage of "desperately" with "grateful" this evening. Poor dears. This isn't the news of an end - but of a continuing where life will be a struggle, at best. I strongly maintain there are worse things than dying; here is the proof - they'll never work as hard, as diligently as they will in the months ahead. Sleep less, worry more and think hard and long about every move they make. So that the end will come as painless, as welcome as it can. Because the end is in sight - just not today. Tomorrow? Perhaps.
Some days, I wonder if the "surprise" ending isn't better - that truck that takes a life on the highway by accident, the natural disaster that strikes without warning. Different indeed - better or worse can be considered on the differences between the two.
They'll have time to come to terms with their mortality - if they have not already. They'll have time to prioritize the tasks they want to complete before they leave.
The instant death does not leave you time to ponder on what to do. Or on the fact you are sick and will never get well again.
I do my best never to leave words unsaid; I have a reputation for being blunt to the point of painful, this is where it comes from. "Problems with delayed gratification" - well, hell. Yeah. I eat dessert first sometimes. Tomorrow is uncertain - Now is the only certainty.
Poor dears. I wish they were planning trips around the world instead. So there.
I call up my friend Marian (she who has some of my anime collection because her husband has been so ill) - she's been in a car accident tonight. Why is she out in a night like this? Because her husband is back in the hospital, and this time it's untreatable. Lung cancer AND an aortic aneurysm as long as my arm - completely inoperable. He's coming up on ninety, and so far is comfortable in the hospital. But. This is on top of a massive, difficult to manage case of CHF and diabetes. Tough little old man, her husband. But that's at least three things that are immediately lethal, each by itself. She's working on all three at once. That's asking a lot.
No, I didn't go out into the rain this evening - I'm on vacation. I don't have to.
It's that whole circle of life thing again. It's to be expected - thy will be done and all that.
caitlin went to a funeral today - and we continue to hear about tsunami victims, and all the dead in Iraq.In the midst of life - we are in death, and so on.
I can understand the useage of "desperately" with "grateful" this evening. Poor dears. This isn't the news of an end - but of a continuing where life will be a struggle, at best. I strongly maintain there are worse things than dying; here is the proof - they'll never work as hard, as diligently as they will in the months ahead. Sleep less, worry more and think hard and long about every move they make. So that the end will come as painless, as welcome as it can. Because the end is in sight - just not today. Tomorrow? Perhaps.
Some days, I wonder if the "surprise" ending isn't better - that truck that takes a life on the highway by accident, the natural disaster that strikes without warning. Different indeed - better or worse can be considered on the differences between the two.
They'll have time to come to terms with their mortality - if they have not already. They'll have time to prioritize the tasks they want to complete before they leave.
The instant death does not leave you time to ponder on what to do. Or on the fact you are sick and will never get well again.
I do my best never to leave words unsaid; I have a reputation for being blunt to the point of painful, this is where it comes from. "Problems with delayed gratification" - well, hell. Yeah. I eat dessert first sometimes. Tomorrow is uncertain - Now is the only certainty.
Poor dears. I wish they were planning trips around the world instead. So there.
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no subject
Date: 2005-01-10 04:59 am (UTC)And, honestly, being blunt is the best. Why hide stuff with prety words when the truth and honesty would get the job done so much better?
In the midst of the funeral and the memorial afterwords, another of my not-as-close friends got word that her father passed...
*sigh* And on and on...
C.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-10 06:52 am (UTC)The train of thought helps.
Last week, I was soaked to the bone on a desert trail in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of a rare desert rainstorm, my ankles sore and my knees swollen, trudging through muddy, cold rivulets of water, and yet, even as half my brain screamed in pain and wondered how stupid I was to agree to a nine-mile hike in the rain, I was so very happy to be alive to see the things I saw, and so very grateful I had the legs to take me there and back again.
And I can not regret it, not one bit.