Mmmm. Saturday.

[kyburg]

I can't make ceolyn's bridal shower. I suck.

I was hoping to find a Darth Tater, and didn't.

I'm also quite female today, which is some ways is good - but I've been told my body is playing games with my head in this regard, and I should ignore the fact. It's also been a full cycle now, and I still don't know if I have insurance coverage to go foward with Dr. Whiz-bang. I shall remind his office of this fact Monday. Gr.

There are no good answers for being_homeless. What kind of system is it that when you finally qualify for Medicare, it's bad news? Ours. Mean it.

And the worst part? She's not over-reacting. And I'm not trying to minimize any part of what she's feeling - it's very, horribly real.

About the only thing I can tell her now is to stop looking at other people and making comparisons. That way lies madness. She's not like normal people, never will be and that's reality. She won't have the same advantages, the same challenges and anyone who tries to compare lives is working apples to oranges.

Me? I've grappled with her issues on the behalf on my spouse - who died. If I know what it's like, it's still only second-hand.

But I do know. And she's alone, and becoming more so daily. She's angry - and needy. Those two things wear the best-meaning people out, and it's just one of those things. Cliff often mentioned that people got tired of him, and it was okay - he understood. God, he was dead on. But - when you're scared, alone and overloaded, that's not the time you remember other people's needs.

So, I understand. And at the same time - I'm terribly frustrated. I know how scare resources are on the ground there - and I just have to keep saying "try." You can't quit - and things will work their own way through - but I won't lie, it's going to SUCK.

Nobody works so hard just to live than someone chronically ill - and dependent on public assistance. Nobody.

And there is nothing I can do to change that.

*kicks*

Comments

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

In the small world department, I half-met ceolyn a couple of weeks ago, I think.

[being-homeless.livejournal.com]

Nobody works so hard just to live than someone chronically ill - and dependent on public assistance. Nobody.
and what exactly is the point in working so hard to live when you are chronically ill? you get nowhere in life, except screwed over ALL the time. eventually you give up. i'm almost there. i just have a couple of things to do first. i would have been better of dying in the fukkin accident then survuvung and having to deal with the system.

[brandelyn.livejournal.com]

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Well, you get to live.

Yeah, ain't that great.

And don't let anyone tell you they can medicate you out of the depression, either. You get to find out all the side effects - and get nothing for it. But you've been there already, right?

At the best, you get to live - and get some good days out of it.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Ah!

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Half-met. Oh this ought to be a good story -

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

I'm one of the lucky ones, with a good support system of friends and family, and better-than-average state care, bigger than average checks, and a partner who will support me.

But it still makes me want to cry sometimes. (I try to avoid actually crying, because that just gives me a headache and an asthma attack.)

My friends don't understand that I'm probably going to be like this for life, that I can't hope for improvement really, that I will always be dependent on other people or else living on the ragged edge of hopelessness on my own, if I even *can*.

And when I think about how horrible it is for most people like me, I start wondering what would happen if I flew to Washington and set myself on fire on the Senate steps. There's certainly nothing *constructive* I seem to be able (ha) to do to change the way the system works.

Like being_homeless, I wish sometimes I'd just die. Much easier. OR that I had a sometimes fatal but treatable disease. My former co-worker with intestinal cancer is doing so much better than I am, and he's actually got a shot at getting his life back.

...sorry; I shouldn't whine despairingly at others before breakfast, I'm always whiniest when I haven't eaten.

[caitlin.livejournal.com]

For a Darth Tater, ask lyzard13...

She deals in fan-toys *g*

And a lot of other stuff.

And is very nice besides.

Oh, and she's local. =)

C.

[poetpaladin.livejournal.com]

Don't forget all the positive influences you've made. I am still in awe of all that you have managed to accomplish since your brain injury. Even a regular person without a brain injury couldn't have accomplished so much!

Right now you're dealing with a monolithic, byzantine bureaucracy. It's no fault of yours that the system is so messed up.