You live and learn - part two

[kyburg]

Spoke to DCFS; I actually found out who the supervisor was and spoke to her directly.

And it's confirmed - Heartsent may not care if we are working with another agency like DCFS; DCFS cares a whole lot and will close our case.

Two years, a year of therapy (and the expenses associated with it) - bye bye. *waves*

Well, no education gained is wasted, all that jazz....

And once we're through with Heartsent, if we manage to enlarge the house, have room and finances for a third child - we'll come back. We're clear on the needs, after all.

But there you have it. You go where the need is, DCFS won't follow you. You're honest and upfront about what your plans are, you don't get rewarded for it - you get dropped like a hot rock. If it isn't something they're comfortable with.

Anyone having to deal with this system not by choice, has my complete sympathies. You got victimized, the system we all pay money into to help you, victimizes you again just walking in the door. It's all about the liability - not about the needs. Please don't look at me like that - I'm not angry. I'm just getting my mental arms around it, taking it in and figuring out how to cope with it. Because it's abundantly clear it's staying just like it is; I have to figure out for myself how to work within it, not demand change.

Getting angry and blaming will solve nothing. It is what it is.

And so, we move on.

It's that road to hell thang again. You know, paved with what again? Right. Good intentions. Everyone in this process has stock in the company that makes that stuff to pave the roads with. Me, them, the kids involved, everyone.

Without trust, it's bupkis. Remember that. Without trust...there's nothing.

Comments

[luscious-purple.livejournal.com]

Ugh. It almost seems as if DCFS has you by the short hairs -- if you ever want to have one of their kids, you can't play with anyone else. It's like a non-disclosure agreement or something. Boo hiss.

[lesliepear.livejournal.com]

Too bad for DCFS, they just lost a potential loving home due to archane rules.

(HUGS)

[cecerose.livejournal.com]

While I'm sorry this happened to you... But I think you're taking the right tact on dealing with it. Hang in there...

[reannon.livejournal.com]

I'm confused. What is their rationale for closing your case if you work with a private agency as well? I'm sure the reality is some kind of turf war, but what is their bullshit reason they use?

Also, once you're done with all this nonsense and your child is safely in your home, I urge you STRONGLY to take this issue up with your state legislator. I know, I know, but it can sometimes make a REALLY BIG difference if the legislator decides to make DCFS reform his/her issue of the month. That's the only way things get better. For now, document and just keep it in mind.

[joggingguy.livejournal.com]

Please don't look at me like that - I'm not angry.

I'd be angry. It boggles the mind :-O

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

"You can't pursue two children at the same time." Verbatim.

Seriously. There are NO children right now, nor has anyone offered us the thought that there will be any soon -

Yes, yes. Documentation. Hence, entries like this one. Really. You ask for this kind of treatment. You sign papers for it. I tell that to people in all dead seriousness, and it's the absolute truth.

[moropus.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry.

you've got to be kidding...

[tomlemos.livejournal.com]

this is INSANE.

children need homes.
you've got all your ducks in a row and yet this is what happens?

there's gotta be a better way.

[turandot.livejournal.com]

It's all about the liability - not about the needs.

That's the problem, in a nutshell. DCFS chapters all over the country have had several black eye situations over their placement of children, that I remember of. So they've decided to probably be very cautious, and not in a good way.

I would think that instead of making the screening process this tortuous and hard, they might go about it the sane way, by hiring more people to process cases so that each caseworker might get to know potential parents enough so that they can go on gut instinct. Instead the reality is thatmany DCFS caseworkers nationwide are often overworked and underpaid; to them the children, the parents, the foster parents all become faceless numbers, and why should it not be so, when they're under pressure to place children, and given no manpower to handle the caseload? It seems such an obvious problem, but no, fuck the children, fuck those who'd give them a home, fuck hiring more caseworkers - let's just cover our assets by making it so damn hard to foster children that most people will turn away from it, regardless of what their real intentions are. Who cares if they meant well or not, as long as no one sues us. Better yet, as soon as we can, let's slap a band aid on their real homes, return these children to supposedly more livable conditions. Wouldn't you know it, many children are shuffled back and forth from their homes to temporary foster care, and back again, until they are old enough to get the hell out of the system, and subsist on their own. That is, if they don't end up turning into their own parents, and perpetuating the neglect and abuse.

It's a damn shame.