Something to see -

[kyburg]

Someone is celebrating an anniversary. He's verbose, witty, funny - and honest. Today's post in particular is one I think needs to be more widely circulated.

Mom suddenly appeared at their doorstep, asking me to go for a drive with her.

I don't remember everything that was said, but there are a few things from that long conversation that I remember vividly. First, we left when the sun was still up but it was dark before we got back. Second, she parked by the side of the road after it got dark, next to a clif beyond which could be seen the night lights of much of the city of Spokane, and I remember looking at the light cast on the street by a streetlamp maybe half a block ahead of us. I remember thinking even then about how that moment was etching itself into my memory, forever and ever, something that will stay with me as long as I live no matter how shitty my memory gets.

"Is this a coming out?" is what she asked me.

And, ultimately, yes it was. I told her then that my black hair and makeup had nothing to do with it (what-ever), but I had made a decision. And when I told her about the letters I was going to send out, what she told me was classic: After telling me her cousin is gay, she said, "And as far as I know, when he came out of the closet he didn't send out announcements."

And that was before the worst of her ridiculous fears came out. She kept telling me how my lack of being forthright with her made her worry about all sorts of terrible things, and I asked her, "What's the absolute worst that could've happened, Mom?"

"Truthfully?"

"Yes."

"It would have killed me if you were a Satanist."

I've known lots of people. Lots of people who really really aren't anything like me, and it just makes it all the sweeter. Life would be one dull place if it were populated by the likes of me exclusively, lemme tellya.

I really AM pretty simple, comes right down to it. About the only rule that I have is - try to get along. Just...make your best effort, but at least try it out for a change. If it doesn't impact you directly - and it does no harm (and remember, what people do in the privacy of their own bedrooms is in the privacy of their own bedrooms first and foremost) - what harm is it to me?

You want to be an ass to me, well - that's something else. Your simple being born with green hair isn't going to faze me.

Comments

[bitpig.livejournal.com]

I understand where you're coming from. Old-fashoned John Stuart Mill libertarianism is the de facto American philosophy, and the desire to live and let live is strong in most decent people everywhere. But, while I don't mean to offend, I must take issue with you on this point. I contend that there are some things that people may do in the privacy of their own bedrooms that should be illegal, even if they "hurt nobody".

For example: necrophilia. Some people have a perverted desire to have sex with corpses. Let's say such a person lives next door to you, and you accidentally find out about his or her activities. The person in question is employed, well-groomed, and lives a normal, respectable life outside of his/her sexual activity. Outside of his necrophiliac activties, he/she has never committed so much as a parking violation. They have some means of obtaining access to corpses that does not openly violate the law. His/her sexual activity takes place in private -- say, after hours in the cold room at the county morgue. His/her sexual activity hurts no one (the corpse doesn't care if it gets violated).

Still think it's none of your business?

What if they don't actuallly screw corpses, but only fantastize about doing so?

Another example: CGI pr0n. What if your neighbor can only get off looking at computer-generated pictures of little kids in sexual bondage? He/she keeps it private. Nobody gets hurt (the pictures are completely CGI and are not produced using photographs of real, living children.) His/her sexual activity takes place in his/her own bedroom. His/her sexual activity hurts no one (no actual kids are involved). Believe it or not such people exist.

Still think it's none of your business what they do?

Or what if your neighbor believes that black people/Jews/Armenians are genetically inferior to other kids of people? He/she keeps his/her beliefs private. Nobody gets hurt (your neighbor keeps his/her opinions to him/herself) His/her political beliefs hurt no one.

Still think it's none of your business?

What if your neighbor is a Klansman? A clitoridectomist? A coprophiliac? Still think it's none of your affair?

I don't. There are some acts, practices, politicial ideas, and moral positions that are intrinsically dangerous -- not necessarily on a personal basis, but dangerous to society. A given society is a reflection of its citizens. Good people, good society. Evil people, evil society. If citizens of a given state or nation are morally, ethically, or politically rotten, the society of which they are part and parcel will be rotten too -- rotten from within. In order to protect society as a whole, every society throughout history has deemed some practices, positions, and beliefs taboo, whether the individual people who practice, hold, or believe them directly hurt anyone or not. A number of these taboos are universal in all human societies. We call the system of moral absolutes based upon these universal taboos the Natural Law. The Natural Law serves in turn as the basis of common and statutory law.

As long as a person's activities harm no one, and do not harm society by transgressing the Natural Law, we do well to live and let live. But ignoring evil -- even private evil -- will eventually lead to chaos and destruction. Liberty under law -- the Natural Law -- is the only true liberty; anything else is license.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Yes. (Disgusting, but yes.)

Only when things get out where I *must* interact with them - does it impact my liberty, which ends where yours begins. I firmly believe that's the boundary.

That's the only way you can address it. One by one, directly - one person at a time. One issue at a time.

You know, it's odd that you don't address your concerns regarding homosexuality at all; simply bringing up concepts and emotional cues to other, clearly more disturbing practices. (Coprophilia? Don't make me laugh. Anyone who has a dog and cat with accompanying catbox, has to deal with this on a daily basis. Ew, but not the end of the world.)

Deciding that there are always "evil people" that HAVE to be managed is a hallmark of the conservative mindset, back to when Reagan took office.

I tend to tie to a more progressive stance - it's wrong when wrong is done, to someone, with the intent to do so very plain in deed and forethought.

Generally speaking, I've never met a parent who didn't think their own kids were genetically superior to any others walking around. We don't ignore that - but we don't stone them to death over it, either.

You confront bad behavior when you find it - not where you think it's hidden. (You think you got something? Drag it out into the light of day! C'mon!)

You assume that the world is out to get you, and if you can't prove it with what's at hand? You can imagine the worst. After all, who knows what goes in private? TEH HORROR.

I clean my own house and keep it that way. I have all the defenses I need. I only attack when attacked - and remain neutral otherwise.

And somehow, it seems to work.

(OH, and another thing? I've worked in emergency rooms. So has my husband. And our parents. There is NOTHING you can tell me that would surprise, shock or otherwise influence me. There are NO secrets in the ER. Trust me on this one.)

[bitpig.livejournal.com]

Deciding that there are always "evil people" that HAVE to be managed is a hallmark of the conservative mindset, back to when Reagan took office. It also happens to be the truth.

But I'm not here to argue -- just to express my own opinion.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

There are good people who need to be encouraged to take the lead as the norm - that's the truth.

"Evil people" get far too much of our attention - and encouragement thereof - in my opinion.

And we hardly hold individual acts of evil accountable. It's just too damn easy to lump people "who look evil" together and slap a label on them instead.

[yeoww.livejournal.com]

My ex is a Mormon.

I saw (and experienced) more unkindness in that church than anywhere else in my life and times. But oh, those folks cleaned up good. "all in our places with bright shiny faces." The acts of violence weren't overt but they were there.

Evil comes dressed in many ways.