Something to think about -

[kyburg]

It's been brought to my attention by more than one person that I tend to wear my past on my sleeve.

Uh. Hmm.

If people knew how much I consciously don't talk about the years between 1984 and 1998? The first thing that comes to mind about the above complaint is "pardon me for it being such an inconvenience."

That's snippy. But holy chrome.

One could say I've lived a charmed life, sure - just the wrong kind of charm.

More than one or two of the grand events have had a lot to do with the delays on a number of milestones. No retirement plan, outside of buying a gun and plugging myself if I got a really REALLY bad reason to stop working suddenly. No children. No grand career writing stuff.

Hell if I'm going to just throw my hands up and say that's it - I just did other things. Things I thought were important enough to postpone other things. Things nobody else could - or would - do.

I mention it. Hell, you ask my name and you have to get a bit of history to understand it.

If you know me, you have to know that much history - sorry, but that was my twenties and thirties. Twenty years and change. Even if they were uneventful years, they'd still be history - wouldn't they?

Do I expect anything for it? It's not worth anything to anyone but me.

I wasn't looking to be famous, or successful.

Ghad. Either a saint or a loser. Why can't it just be what it was?

I wasn't lucky. Period.

And even THAT isn't okay?!

Too damn honest again. Crap.

Comments

[lolleeroberts.livejournal.com]

You can talk to me about it anytime. I hear you. I started over again at 48. It's amazing what tends to get discarded when you're trying to keep someone you love from dying in despair and pain in a gutter.

I did the best I could and it wasn't enough. It will never have been enough. People who never walked down that stretch of dark road don't want to hear about it. It's like whistling past the graveyard. That sort of pain will never touch them so why don't we just shut up? Gah.

Darling, I am happier than I can say that you are wrestling some love and joy out of life now. But anytime you want to talk history with me? The inbox is open.

*hug*

(mutters) some people's children....

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

I'm being over-sensitive. Someone just implied I was self-abusing because I stayed even when my needs weren't getting met. Just implied, mind.

*counts to ten. Gets to three*

Well, excuuuuuuuse ME. (And someone my age and gender too. RARE on ol' LJ.)

I have some really dark things in my background. So help me, I didn't ask for it. I CAN'T HELP IT. I just did my best, and what I thought was right.

I'd like to have that skill acknowledged. Not second-guessed or put on a pedestal. Just - a skill. I did the work. Period.

[(Anonymous)]

You did what you thought was right. Why should you ever have to apologize for that? Ever?

Doing the right thing often has repercussions that are not all positive and awesome.

That's why virtue is rare. Because it's hard.

[(Anonymous)]

You did what you thought was right. Why should you ever have to apologize for that? Ever?

Doing the right thing often has repercussions that are not all positive and awesome.

That's why virtue is rare. Because it's hard.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

But it wasn't. It was the most logical thing in the world.

I just can't get my head wrapped around all the trivia and bullshit people want to heap on it.