Something to think about -
Jan. 7th, 2007 10:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kyburgIt's been brought to my attention by more than one person that I tend to wear my past on my sleeve.
Uh. Hmm.
If people knew how much I consciously don't talk about the years between 1984 and 1998? The first thing that comes to mind about the above complaint is "pardon me for it being such an inconvenience."
That's snippy. But holy chrome.
One could say I've lived a charmed life, sure - just the wrong kind of charm.
More than one or two of the grand events have had a lot to do with the delays on a number of milestones. No retirement plan, outside of buying a gun and plugging myself if I got a really REALLY bad reason to stop working suddenly. No children. No grand career writing stuff.
Hell if I'm going to just throw my hands up and say that's it - I just did other things. Things I thought were important enough to postpone other things. Things nobody else could - or would - do.
I mention it. Hell, you ask my name and you have to get a bit of history to understand it.
If you know me, you have to know that much history - sorry, but that was my twenties and thirties. Twenty years and change. Even if they were uneventful years, they'd still be history - wouldn't they?
Do I expect anything for it? It's not worth anything to anyone but me.
I wasn't looking to be famous, or successful.
Ghad. Either a saint or a loser. Why can't it just be what it was?
I wasn't lucky. Period.
And even THAT isn't okay?!
Too damn honest again. Crap.
Uh. Hmm.
If people knew how much I consciously don't talk about the years between 1984 and 1998? The first thing that comes to mind about the above complaint is "pardon me for it being such an inconvenience."
That's snippy. But holy chrome.
One could say I've lived a charmed life, sure - just the wrong kind of charm.
More than one or two of the grand events have had a lot to do with the delays on a number of milestones. No retirement plan, outside of buying a gun and plugging myself if I got a really REALLY bad reason to stop working suddenly. No children. No grand career writing stuff.
Hell if I'm going to just throw my hands up and say that's it - I just did other things. Things I thought were important enough to postpone other things. Things nobody else could - or would - do.
I mention it. Hell, you ask my name and you have to get a bit of history to understand it.
If you know me, you have to know that much history - sorry, but that was my twenties and thirties. Twenty years and change. Even if they were uneventful years, they'd still be history - wouldn't they?
Do I expect anything for it? It's not worth anything to anyone but me.
I wasn't looking to be famous, or successful.
Ghad. Either a saint or a loser. Why can't it just be what it was?
I wasn't lucky. Period.
And even THAT isn't okay?!
Too damn honest again. Crap.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-01-08 07:47 am (UTC)You? Are a case of the former. I know at least one person (or, at least, I thought I did) who is more the latter.
Yeah, there's plenty of second guessing... I do it all the time. But there is a choice... either let those choices stagnate any further growth due to regrets, or keep plugging away and live life on the new path carved out.
Or maybe I'm just talking too much and should shut up and go to bed.
I don't know.
C.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-08 07:57 am (UTC)Ng. Snerg. Blargh.
Meh.
I'm so careful to say what I would do when I discuss matters. Because I have heard so much of what other people thought I should do - and some times, they got really bent when I didn't agree with them!
What I did. What I would do. Not what To DO.
And holy merde, don't JUDGE what has passed. It is what it is; it was what it was. We can wish things were different, but there is nothing good or bad about what was. It was. Case closed.