Something to think about -

[kyburg]

It's been brought to my attention by more than one person that I tend to wear my past on my sleeve.

Uh. Hmm.

If people knew how much I consciously don't talk about the years between 1984 and 1998? The first thing that comes to mind about the above complaint is "pardon me for it being such an inconvenience."

That's snippy. But holy chrome.

One could say I've lived a charmed life, sure - just the wrong kind of charm.

More than one or two of the grand events have had a lot to do with the delays on a number of milestones. No retirement plan, outside of buying a gun and plugging myself if I got a really REALLY bad reason to stop working suddenly. No children. No grand career writing stuff.

Hell if I'm going to just throw my hands up and say that's it - I just did other things. Things I thought were important enough to postpone other things. Things nobody else could - or would - do.

I mention it. Hell, you ask my name and you have to get a bit of history to understand it.

If you know me, you have to know that much history - sorry, but that was my twenties and thirties. Twenty years and change. Even if they were uneventful years, they'd still be history - wouldn't they?

Do I expect anything for it? It's not worth anything to anyone but me.

I wasn't looking to be famous, or successful.

Ghad. Either a saint or a loser. Why can't it just be what it was?

I wasn't lucky. Period.

And even THAT isn't okay?!

Too damn honest again. Crap.

Comments

[dudemungus.livejournal.com]

I found it to be certain types--some folks had lives harder by far than mine, who just shrug about it when you ask, and some who are almost crippled by a past full of not much but (comparative) luxury.

Some of us are just wired to carry scars and some aren't. It doesn't make either right or wrong, it just is.

And yeah, some of us just have rotten luck. I knwo lots of folks starting over again at later ages. My mom is back in school, and even if she works well past retirement age, she may only get a decade out of her new career. BUt I asked her when she was hesitant--if you were to kick over tomorrow, what would you rather be doing? On the road to your dreams coming true. or trudging along toward nothing?

Keep fighting.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

I refuse to blame other people for my bad mood - I guess trying to apply that refusal to others might be at fault.

But dammit, I refuse to think people suck and that's that.

[dudemungus.livejournal.com]

I don't think people suck exactly, they just only work from their own experiences ans weaknesses--they don't piss you off or ride you to be evil or crappy, they just start talking and out it comes.

Most the time they think they're helping.

The utter look of surprise on their faces when you finally belt them is proof enough of this, I think.