Something to think about -

[kyburg]

It's been brought to my attention by more than one person that I tend to wear my past on my sleeve.

Uh. Hmm.

If people knew how much I consciously don't talk about the years between 1984 and 1998? The first thing that comes to mind about the above complaint is "pardon me for it being such an inconvenience."

That's snippy. But holy chrome.

One could say I've lived a charmed life, sure - just the wrong kind of charm.

More than one or two of the grand events have had a lot to do with the delays on a number of milestones. No retirement plan, outside of buying a gun and plugging myself if I got a really REALLY bad reason to stop working suddenly. No children. No grand career writing stuff.

Hell if I'm going to just throw my hands up and say that's it - I just did other things. Things I thought were important enough to postpone other things. Things nobody else could - or would - do.

I mention it. Hell, you ask my name and you have to get a bit of history to understand it.

If you know me, you have to know that much history - sorry, but that was my twenties and thirties. Twenty years and change. Even if they were uneventful years, they'd still be history - wouldn't they?

Do I expect anything for it? It's not worth anything to anyone but me.

I wasn't looking to be famous, or successful.

Ghad. Either a saint or a loser. Why can't it just be what it was?

I wasn't lucky. Period.

And even THAT isn't okay?!

Too damn honest again. Crap.

Comments

[anahata56.livejournal.com]

I have to agree with Lollee--a lot of people just can't take it, for whatever reason. A lot of people look at the nitties and the gritties and just run screaming in the opposite direction.

And then take that aspect of themselves, and the shame they feel at being too "weak" to cope with it, and blame it on you.

And you know, I get it when you say that it just is what it is, and was what it was. I know that, at this point, in my own mind and in my own heart, it isn't moaning anymore--for the most part, I've wrapped my head around the idea that things unfolded as they did and that's what's supposed to have happened, to turn me into me. So no, it isn't a heart-rending confessional at this point. At least, it isn't supposed to be.

But things happened--LOTS of things happened. And I talk about it.

So sue me.

Are we supposed to talk like all of life has been a skip down the flowery path? What a load that would be...

What a lie that would be.

And you know what's REALLY funny?

I'll bet that the same people who make such remarks really see the extraordinary person that you are and don't make the connection that your past is part of how you got that way.

[eyes-of-cyrene.livejournal.com]

I'll bet that the same people who make such remarks really see the extraordinary person that you are and don't make the connection that your past is part of how you got that way.

WORD.

[nagasvoice.livejournal.com]

Second that.
Sounds to me like some folks have been acting *rude* at you, honestly.
That's not part of a civilized person's normal behavior either.
At a guess, it sounds remarkably like teenagers, or retrograde for an adult.
Makes me wonder what got *their* knickers in such a twist.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

There are days I just have to remember that often, it's just smoke from other fires. And leave it at that.

But it doesn't help it when I get called names for it. Honestly. Bad enough that it was as bad as it was - do I have to go through the rest of my life justifying it?! Jeez.

[elfwench.livejournal.com]

I will agree with everything said here. As well, I agree with another commenter because you are one of the more forward thinking people I know.

I think it has to do less with the time period or the event and more with what makes them (the person criticizing you) uncomfortable, whether it's the past, the present situation, worries about the future, or a state of being such as money or disability.. If it makes the other party feel uncomfortable, they will claim you talk too much about it.

That's not to say that some people don't need to move on and live for the present rather than further victimizing themselves by rehashing that particular trauma over and over again, but you are not one of those people, Donna.

There is definite value in remembering your past and honoring that, good or bad, though, and you are one of those rare people who does that. I see so many people who, once they are living the good life, forget what it's like to be struggling even if they were once there themselves. Not that their memory faded, but they have lost the feeling for what it was like to be that way, and as such much of their compassion and understanding.

I hope this makes sense.

Thank you, Donna, for being the person you are.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

I blame my Danish temper. I just figured it out. They were calling Cliff a waste of time.

How fucking dare they. *snarls* I guess I'm still a bit protective of him.

[anahata56.livejournal.com]

Oh no.

Oh no they didn't.

No wonder...

I'm so sorry.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

*sees icon*

*DIES LAUGHING*

*steals*

Uh yeah. They did. They do. They likely always will - just the faces of who "they" are will change.

*sighs* They know not what they're fucking talking about. HAVE to stop taking this so personally.

[anahata56.livejournal.com]

Yeah, well I know it's easy to THINK that. And I know it's easy to intellectually recognize the fact that it's more about them than it is about you--that it's the whole universal wrestling with the fear of mortality and the discomfort in the face of inconvenient truth jazz.

But I know it hurts. And it seems a shame that the person who hurts is the person who ends up carrying the burden of other people's ignorance.

But you know, I don't comment much here, but I'm here. And for whatever it's worth, I get it. I can't understand the nuances, of course--those are totally yours. But I get it, and I know that there are other people who get it, too.

Just the way YOU got it for ME.

The bad news is that we can't fix 'em all.

The good news is that they really aren't the majority, no matter how loud they are.

(Glad you stole the icon--it's the least I could do! ;-))